Tell Me Break Me Save Me
by CSM
Summary: AU-kinda. What if Rachel really was pregnant after I Do? How will she and Finn deal with this unexpected news?
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Tell Me. Break Me. Save Me.

**Author:** CSM

**Summary:** AU-kinda. What if Rachel really was pregnant after I Do? How does she and Finn deal with this unexpected news?

**AN: For the purpose of THIS story, I'm ignoring the fact that Rachel slept with Brody. I know she did, but this story is not going to be a who is your baby daddy fic, nor do I feel the need to write about a character I have no interest in, if this ****offends you, then this fic isn't for you and you should simply stop reading it now****  
**

**AN2: Also this is not your typical finchel having a baby fic, its anything but, so fair warning.**

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**Tell Me. Break Me. Save Me**

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She wonders if it can still be called Shiva, if she's mourning the life she _could have had_, mourning her life that never will be. The career, she now will never accomplish; the school she worked _so_ hard to get accepted into; all the tears, the rituals, the pleading calls, the two hour drive with Tina to get Carmen Tibideaux to listen to her. The sacrifices both she _and_ Finn made just for her to be here. She threw away her relationship, a marriage of what-could-have-been. She sacrificed _everything_ to get to where she is today, and it has all been thrown away, because of one careless night.

She threw it all away, for one night, a night fueled by the need to ease, that never ending ache in her heart, the longing to be with her true love for just one night. They both agreed before anything started that nothing can come from it. Yet, here she sits on the cold tiles of the bathroom staring at her _third_ positive pregnancy test in the last week. Every time she tells herself she'll go to the doctor, she convinces herself she's just stressed; that it's a false positive; her body will go back to normal in a few days. One month, two weeks, and three pregnancy tests later she knows she needs to stop fooling herself and begin to move forward.

Does sitting Shiva count, as a step for her to move forward? Before she can accept the her fate, she needs to mourn the loss of a dream, mourn the life she planned for herself. She needs to deal with the now, before she can even begin to think about what will be. She thinks she owes this to herself, she owes it to herself to take the time to mourn what she has lost.

If, she's finally being honest with herself, she's mourning the loss of herself. Somehow between getting on that train all those months ago and taking that pregnancy test, she has lost who she is, who she is meant to be. Sitting on the cold titles of her bathroom, pregnant with her ex-boy….ex-_fiance_'s baby, while currently living with a guy she doesn't really know a guy she has yet to even fully commit too, in any sense of the word except sharing a bed. A guy, she knew from the moment they met she had no future with, but she fooled herself into thinking this is what she was suppose to. She fooled herself into thinking she moved on, that she's healed, but in reality she was just falling further and further into a black hole, and she's reached the point where she doesn't even recognize herself anymore.

She could say, she's mourning for the girl she use to be just as much as the girl she will never be.

Rachel sighs as she stretches across the small bathroom, her head resting on a towel. She unzips the old grey McKinely hoodie she's wearing, resting her palms across her still flat stomach, she presses down lightly, almost expecting the life inside of her to respond. She sighs yet again, trying to cup her stomach but realizing there is nothing to cup, nothing _yet_. She looks the same as she always does, she doesn't feel different either; well other than the nausea she's been dealing with the past few days; the initial reason she is lying on the floor to begin with.

She's all cried out, her tears have long since dried up and now she just lies on the cold hard floor of the bathroom - the only place she can get privacy these days - with only her thoughts and her unborn baby.

She's having a baby.

* * *

She's lying in the middle of her bed, her hands clasp across her stomach, as she breathes in deeply, recalling her breathing exercises from Yoga, and hoping to calm her racing heart rate. Her doctor said its not good for the baby.

She finally went to the doctor and confirmed what she already knew, its only been three days since she lay on the bathroom floor feeling sorry for herself, when she finally decided to take what little control of her life she still has left.

So, the very first thing she does is visit the doctor, and has her fate sealed, while she feels like it's a weight lifted off her shoulder, and she's no longer wondering. Santana is no longer pestering her to go and get checked out; it's nice to finally just know for sure. But, now she has a whole other can of worms to open, now she has to deal with the reality her life has become.

The second thing she does, is kick Brody out of the apartment, out of her life. She has no emotional attachment to the boy, and it's not fair to either of them, to keep this up. Most of all with the life currently growing within her, the life that is one part her and one part _Finn's, _she can't keep fooling herself like that. This is Finn's baby and its something she is reminded off every time she places her hand on her stomach, or any times she looks at her stack of prenatal vitamins that are neatly packed in her underwear drawer. Brody is just a constant reminded of how she messed up her life once again and cutting ties with him is the best for everyone.

Brody protests, which she naturally expects, but she stands her ground and tells him its just not working out, it was never going to. Kurt and Santana are standing on the sidelines loudly rooting for her, not even hiding their excitement at his departure. Kurt has many, many questions about why her sudden change of heart, she can only tell him she has had a reality check. She can't tell him the reality check is the small life currently growing inside of her, she can't burden him with that secret, burden him with the responsibility of keeping that from his brother.

Santana though, her ever perceptive friend (who's scarily enough has been her rock these past few weeks, not asking questions, but just offering her support) puts two and two together, when she kicks Brody out and Rachel is not even surprise at the sudden dip in her bed, knowing its Santana without having to open her eyes.

"So, you and donkey face never…." Santana says with an open-ended question.

"Nope. Well nothing to get me like _this_." Rachel says patting her stomach, ignoring the gaging noise Santana makes next to her. Rachel is just glad she trusted the nagging in her heart that never allowed her to commit to Brody in _that_ way, otherwise she was in _whole_ other mess to deal with.

"The none wedding." Santana states, already knowing the answer. The subject of Brody and his involvement in the paternity of Rachel's baby dropped, now irrelevant.

Rachel sighs, as she makes small circles on her stomach, something she finds herself doing a lot lately, "Yup."

"After you sang that song right?" Santana asks knowingly, when Rachel just groans already hearing the smirk in her friend's voice, "Oh Berry you are so weak."

"I know." Rachel says in despair, "And the cocky…you know what…. _said _that as well, and I thought, I'll show you Finn Hudson. I'll prove you wrong."

"More like you showed him your tits." Santana remarks dryly.

"Santana!"

"Am I lying?" Santana asks, and when Rachel doesn't respond, her friend's voice changes, all humour gone, "You know you have to tell him, no matter what you decide to do. In fact, _before_ you decide to do anything, you _have_ to tell him."

"I will." Rachel promises her breath hitching as she squeezes her eyes shut, willing herself not to cry

"Rachel look at me." Santana says softly but sternly.

Rachel turns her head towards her, her eyes watering yet again, her lip wobbling, "I don't know if I can."

"Rachel, Finn deserves to know about this baby, no matter what you decide to do he _has_ know. You can't keep this from him, and he should hear it from _you_, not me and definitely not Kurt. Lady Hummel is already getting suspicious, you can't expect him to keep this from Finn."

"I don't, that's why I haven't told him yet." Rachel says her voice breaking she can't even seem to have a proper conversation these days without breaking down into tears, "That, and I'm still getting use to the idea myself."

"But, Finn," Santana prods, bringing the conversation back to the original topic. "You can't keep this from him Rachel."

"I know that Santana." She says tersely, "This is not something I can just call him up and ask in the middle of how are you and how's the weather back home!"

Santana sighs rolling onto her stomach and looking at Rachel closely, "Rachel I'm your friend, and you know I'm here for you. But, Finn is my friend too and I won't keep this from him, forever."

Rachel nods and she understands her friend's point, she doesn't _like_ it but, she knows how close Santana and Finn are, and the very reason she hasn't told Kurt is because of this. Santana found out all on her own, and Rachel can't even be pissed at the other girl's invasion of privacy cause she doesn't know where she would be without Santana these past few weeks.

Rachel shifts slightly back so she can lean against the headboard and groans at the uneasy feeling in her stomach, deciding against it and lies flat on her back instead.

Santana shifts slightly away from her with a frown, "Are you going to hurl?"

Rachel shakes her head, making soft circles on her lower abdomen and breathing in deeply as she tries to ease the nausea, for some reason lying flat on her back while rubbing her stomach seems to be the only thing that helps.

After a few moments of silence, something both she and Santana have gotten use to when her nausea hits, Rachel breathes in deeply and speaks softly, "I don't want to up root his life. Its not fair to him."

"Rachel, you're having his baby his life it's going to change no matter what." Santana points out, "The longer you take to tell him, the harder it's going to be."

Rachel presses her palm against her stomach lightly and sighs, "You know he decided he wants to be a teacher? He'll be an _amazing _teacher. Kurt says he's looking into schools for next year…"

"You don't want him to move here for only the kid." Santana states

"I don't want to feel like an obligation." Rachel says as she breathes deeply again, "I don't even know what I'm doing."

"Are you going to get rid of it?" Santana ask curiously, but at the glare Rachel sends her she holds up her hands in defense, "Wow, just asking. Calm down preggers."

"I would never get _rid_ of Finn and my _child_ Santana." Rachel says appalled at her friends audacity, putting her arm across her stomach protectively, "I don't know what I'm doing, but one thing I _do_ know is that abortion is _not_ an option."

"Okay, now that's cleared up. You call Finn." Santana says grabbing Rachel's phone on the bed side table and offering it to Rachel.

"_Now_?" Rachel asks incredulously, shaking her head from left to right, "Santana I can't just…"

"There is never going to be a good time for you to tell Finn you're having his kid, and we both know that he's going to do right by the kid, by _you_ and he'll come here no matter what you say."

"Finn's not ready to take care of a child. _I'm_ not ready to take care of a child." Rachel says, "I don't….I don't want him to up root his life, to come here, only if I'm just going to….if I give him up for adoption."

"Rachel, you know I'll be here with you every step of the way right?" Santana says sincerely as she sits up to face Rachel, "But _Finn_ is the one that you need to discuss this with. Finn needs to make that decision on his own, if he is ready to take care of a child or not. You can't make this decision for the both of you. Don't let this pregnancy be another lie like the last one he had to go through."

"Finn _is_ the father." Rachel says appalled at Santana's insinuation.

Santana rolls her eyes, not at all deterred by Rachel's tone, "I know that, I'm saying just don't lie to him."

"Does it even make sense telling him about this, if I'm just giving up the baby?" Rachel asks quietly as she plays with the sleeve of her hoodie, "I mean. Should I really uproot his whole life, only for things to go back to how it was 7 months from now?"

"Rachel. Don't do that. Don't try and rationalize this, stop hiding behind those excuses and call him." Santana says with finality as she tosses the phone to Rachel, "Finn will _never_ forgive you, if he hears it from someone else, and worse if you planned to keep this from him. Stop using your fear as a reason for not calling him. We both know that he's not going to just abandon you."

"What if he does?" Rachel asks quietly, her voice breaking as tears began to flow yet again, the real reason she's been putting off telling him, "He's finally has some kind of direction in his life and what if its too much and…"

"Rachel you're being ridiculous, I know its all the hormones and stuff, but like you're talking crazy." Santana says bluntly, "Finn would _never_ do that and you _know_ that. Stop with the excuses. Call. Him."

With that said she slips off Rachel bed and walks off leaving Rachel alone with her thoughts. Rachel stares up at the ceiling placing her hands on her stomach yet again, her hands just seem to gravitate to her midriff lately, without her even realizing it.

She picks up the phone and takes a deep breath as she presses the number one on her screen, pressing the phone to her ear and she tries to calm her increasing heart rate as she listens to the dial tone.

"Rachel?" Finn calls out cautiously from the other line.

On hearing his voice the dam just breaks and Rachel's breath hitches as her voice crack, "Hey."

"What's wrong?" Finn asks concerned immediately picking up on her tone, "Are you okay? Is it Kurt? Santana?"

"They're fine." Rachel says a breathing increasing rapidly, "Finn…"

"Rach, what's wrong? You're scaring me." Finn says and she can hear the panic rising in his voice.

She wants to stop, calm her breathing, hold back her sobs and be strong, but she doesn't think she has it in her. The sound of his voice doesn't soothe her, doesn't calm her like it usually does, instead the sound of his voice seems to be the last straw on the camels back, and everything just seems to come crashing down around her and she just sobs her fingers clenched around her phone for dear life, her other hands gripping the hoodie she's wearing, her knuckles turning white. Finn is saying her name soothingly, offering words of comfort despite the fact that he has no clue what she is crying about.

"It'll be okay." He says softly, "Baby, I need you to calm down and talk to me. We'll figure it out together. I just need you to breathe."

She swallows the large lump in her throat taking a deep shaky breath as she tries to find her voice, her stomach rolls and she has to bite back the sudden onset of nausea that hits her. She breathes through her parted lips, slowly making small circles on her stomach, as she finally finds her voice, "I'm so sorry Finn."

Before he can question her further though she gasps loudly as she speaks again the words just rolling off her tongue, "I'm pregnant."

When she doesn't get a response, she sobs, her body shaking, "I'm sorry. I don't know what to do and I can't…"

"It's gonna be okay." Finn says soothingly, his voice far calmer than she expected, she clenches and unclenches her fist as she follows his instructions helping her even out her breathing. "We'll figure it out together okay? I'll book a flight tonight and…"

"No!" Rachel says in alarm sitting up abruptly and she groans when the small life inside of her protests at her movement and she immediately leans over the side of the bed throwing up into the waste paper bin Santana had left on the side of her bed since Rachel's nausea had really kick in.

"Rachel!" She can hear Finn shouting in the phone, and she groans, not only because of the burning in her throat but because this is _not_ how she wanted this conversation to go.

She fumbles with her abandoned phone, Finn's voice can still be heard coming through the speakers and he's now threatening to call Kurt and Santana, "I'm fine."

She groans out, sounding anything but, as her heads hang off the side of the bed, she's afraid to move, to upset her stomach again, she grabs a nearby hand towel and wipes her mouth, groaning slightly.

"You don't sound fine." Finn snaps and she knows his anger isn't directed at her, but just that when he panics, he gets frustrated and she can only imagine how all this is sounding to him on the phone line, "Look, I'm going to book a flight for tonight."

"No." Rachel repeats, her voice sounding firmer and more sure than she feels, she closes her eyes as she shifts her body so she's now lying on her back, almost afraid to open her eyes.

"What do you mean _no_?" Finn asks incredulously, his voice hard, "I just had to listen to you puke your guts out and cry hysterically into the phone, you are anything but _fine_ Rachel, all because of something _I_…Rachel where's Brody?"

Rachel bites her lip at his comment, the hidden meaning behind it evident, and not that she can blame Finn for thinking that, "Brody is gone."

"Son of a bitch." Finn growls, his anger surprising her, "I'm going to kill him. He skipped out? Doesn't the guy have a decent bone in his body? You sound _terrible_ and he just _left_ you? And the kid? I mean there is like a 50% chance it's his right? I'm going to kill him."

"Finn, no." Rachel says cursing her nausea from preventing her from explaining herself properly, "Brody doesn't know…he's not… _You're _the father."

"Oh." Finn says, and Rachel heart aches at how much emotion she can read off of him in just one word, "I'm coming to New York."

"No." Rachel says yet again, "You don't need to come, I'm fine the nausea is only this bad at night, and it's been a rough day."

"Rachel, that's my _kid. _I'm not going to just leave you to do this alone." Finn says in exasperation.

"You coming here won't make a difference Finn." Rachel lies, "It won't help with my night time nausea and besides you have jobs to oversee and I know you have a pre orientation thing for school next week."

"Rachel, I'm not going to school now." Finn says incredulously, as though _she's_ the crazy one for even suggesting that.

"Like hell you aren't." Rachel growls, "I know you got into the University of Lima's spring term with a partial _scholarship,_ you aren't throwing that away."

"I'm not _throwing_ away anything. I'm taking responsibility for my kid." Finn speaks his voice stern, leaving no room for argument, "I'm not going to school when I have to take care of my kid and you."

"I don't need you to take care of me." Rachel snaps, her emotions are frayed, the constant nausea not helping her current mood either, "Besides I don't even know if there will _be_ a kid in a few months anyway."

"_What_?" Finn all but shouts, "You are not aborting our baby."

"Of course not!" Rachel snaps back, almost growling at him at his audacity, "You know be better than that Finn. I can't believe you would even think that."

"Well, I never thought you would be one to shack up with some random dude you met and actually be in an open relationship with him. So I guess we were both wrong about each other."

Finn's harsh words sting more than Rachel expect them to, and her eyes begin to water, and what she hates the most is how right he is. This life she has been living is _not_ her and the nagging in the back of her head, that points out how much worse this situation could have been is glaringly obvious to her now. But Finn's accusing tone, just pushes all the wrong buttons and she doesn't the only thing she knows, she lashes back just as harshly

"_Fuck you_, Finn." She growls presses the end button, effectively cutting him off before he could respond.

She doesn't even have time to throw the phone on the other side of the bed before it begins to ring in her palm. She growls, not even looking at the screen knowing its Finn calling, she just presses the side button ending the ringing. But, to her utter annoyance the phone rings yet again. She scowls picking up the phone and quickly pressing the respond by text option and types out and angry text, not caring how childish she's being.

**_When a person does not take your calls it usually means said person wishes to not speak to you._**

_Well, said person needs to stop being so childish and answer the fucking phone._

**_I don't appreciate your tone or language Finn Hudson_**

_I don't appreciate you ignoring my calls. So I guess we're both not getting what we want tonight. Answer the phone Rachel._

Rachel scowls when the phone rings yet again, she slaps the screen angrily ending the ringing yet again, not even two seconds later the phone buzzes one indicating an incoming text.

_ANSWER THE PHONE._

**_Don't yell at me, and no, I will not take your calls. Take the hint Finn_**

_Take the hint that this isn't like high school Rachel, I'm not going to leave you alone cause you're mad at me. Answer the phone._

Sure enough before she can even finish read the text her phone begins to ring yet again, she lets it ring out this time though cause she knows ending it will just produce yet another demanding text or another call.

"_Rachel!_ Answer the fucking phone!" Santana yells from another part of the loft,

Rachel growls, silently cursing Finn and ending the call yet again, this time quickly putting the phone on silent, sure enough the phone lights up yet again indicating another text. She could just ignore it much like the calls, but curiosity is getting the best of her, that and a small part of her loves the fact that he won't give up, not that she would ever admit that. Finn probably knows this as well, anyway.

_You and I both know I'm not going to stop, save us both the sleepless night and involving Santana or Kurt and just answer the phone._

Rachel scowls, she just about ready to pull the baby card on him, and guilt him into stopping, just so she can rest, because the baby needs it, but her phone lights up a few more times before she can respond. She frowns expecting it to be yet another call, but it's a few text messages instead, she sighs deeply as she reads them.

_Look, I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it like that. I just… I'm still trying to wrap my mind around this and I didn't like hearing you are ready to just give our kid away like if it's a problem that you can just pluck away and get rid off. It's our BABY Rachel._

_Please talk to me. We need to do this together Rachel, don't shut me out._

_You probably turned off your phone by now. But, Rachel just know that I will do right by this kid. I won't abandon my baby._

At his last message Rachel bites back a sob as her fears are confirmed, and she knows all of this, all this effort is only for the baby and she can't do this, she can't be just an obligation to him she can't let him change his life like this just because of his loyalty to this baby. She can't let him throw away his life like this.

She can't do this.

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**Reviews are love**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you all so much for your kind words! I'm glad so many of you are enjoying this fic. This is my first time writing angst so I was kind of hesitant to post it but I'm glad you all enjoyed it :)**

**I can't promise that updates will always be this frequent, but I do hope to try and keep them steady :)**

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Finn sits in the choir room staring out in the distance, his phone clutched in his hand, he has yet to leave it out of his sight for more than a second, just in case Rachel decides to call him. At the thought of Rachel, he sighs rubbing his face, the last 24 hours are slowly catching up to him and the exhaustion is slowly setting in. His mind has not shut off since Rachel told him, her news.

It's been 24 hours and he still can't wrap his mind around it, he's been running on autopilot since he got the news, when Rachel essentially stopped taking his calls _and_ texts, he gave up and spent the rest of the night staring up at the roof of his room, trying to figure out how to even deal with this.

This isn't like the last time, he's not some sixteen year old kid thrust with responsibility he can't handle, with a girl he only dated because he thought that is what he's _suppose_ to do.

This time, the love of his life, the woman he plans on marrying some day is pregnant with his child. Only, she's 600 miles away, (He googled that a night when he was depressed and figured knowing the actual distance would hurt less cause it wouldn't seem as far as he thought. It didn't.) and they aren't together, they are in different states, and living completely different lives separate from each other, they are almost like strangers. This is not how he envisioned this for them, this is not how this was supposed to happen, the next time he found out he was going to be a father, he expected it to be when he and Rachel were married for a few years, her working on Broadway and him teaching at one of the local schools.

This situation is _anything _but ideal, Rachel won't even speak to him and he's not even sure what he needs to do, he's still numb with shock, unsure what he should do now and what he wants to do. He's so wrapped up in his own thoughts he does not hear the glee club walking into the choir room till he feels a tap on his shoulder. Startled he looks down to see Artie looking at him oddly.

"Dude, you okay? We've been trying to get your attention for a while now." Artie asks as he straightens the frames of his glasses.

"Yea…I…ugh was just thinking." Finn says clearly his throat, hoping to get rid of the lump in his throat that's been there since the night before.

Artie looks at him sympathetically, "Thinking about school? You shouldn't be nervous you know. If there is anyone who can be thrown into a new situations and stand on their own two feet its you. I mean look how easily you took over Glee club?"

"But I was cocaptain it's not much of a jump from cocaptain to leading the club. This is a whole other experience," Finn says not talking about his first day of classes but thinking about the life he and Rachel created, the life he's now responsible for.

He wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans, the idea of being responsible for another life freaking him out yet again, Artie is none the wiser of Finn inner turmoil, but to Finn's surprise his friend's next words seem to struck a cord with him.

"Yea, but that's the exciting part, right? I mean its something you care about, and it's like you get to start with a clean slate with people and shape things how you want it to. You're working towards something you are passionate about. Sure many people will say you can't do it, but you have the opportunity to show them wrong. Show them you're more than that. More than what they expect from you."

Finn looks at the smaller boy in shock, his words resonating within Finn, Finn claps Artie on the back in gratitude, "Thanks dude, you're right no one can make that decision for me, _but _me."

Artie for his part looks at Finn in confusion, clearly not understanding what Finn meant, but Finn can't explain it even if he wanted to. He gets to his feet clapping his hands together to gain the clubs attention, for the most part his troubles are in the back of his mind as he turns his focus on the glee club. With Mr. Schue still in god knows where, doing god knows what (seriously, Finn knows the guy's upset but like to abandon his responsibilities like this is a bit ridiculous)

"So, I know some of you are in the middle of waiting to hear from some of the colleges you applied too, as well as have auditions lined up and I know some of you have a few years before you have to think about college. But, since we know the theme for Regionals I thought this week's assignment could be just that. I want you guys to do a song that represents who you want to be in 5 years. Or who you hope to be in 5 years. "

With his words the clubs is suddenly a buzz with chatter as people begin to discuss their plans, he claps again to get their attention hoping to finish his request, "Also, lets have this as duets _but_ it needs to be with someone you have never sang with before and we'll decide as a club which performance is the best and that one will be our duet for Regionals."

With those final words everyone in the club groans in annoyance, no doubt about the fact that they have to sing with people they haven't sung with before, but Finn brushes it off figuring its better _they_ choose who to sing with than him forcing them together. Once everyone is deep in conversation Finn pulls out his phone and frowns at the blank screen, he's been hoping all day that Rachel would text him back but she has yet to respond to his last text apologizing and that in itself is odd for Rachel seeing as she _hates_ to ignore texts especially when its one of him apologizing.

He briefly wonders if this is what a hormonal Rachel will be like for the next 7 months at that thought he shudders slightly, its going to be a _long_ seven months. But then he thinks of a pregnant Rachel with a big belly and round cheeks and he can't help but smile at the thought. He'll be damned if she thinks she'll push him away and not include him in this. He swipes his fingers across the screen of his phone pressing on the green icon of the text message app, when he sees that his texts are still the last in the window he sighs before he starts typing out a message, he erases it three times before he finally decides on what say.

**_I know you're still mad, but you can't ignore me forever. At least tell me how you are? Are you still feeling nauseous?_**

To his utter surprise, and relief his phone beeps almost immediately, but his relief is short lived when he reads the message.

_Just give me some space Finn._

**_Ignoring me won't make this go away Rachel. Why even call me to tell me if you don't want to talk about it?_**

He bites back a growl, hating how angry he's getting just from one text, her evasiveness is starting to frustrate him and he hates the fact that he can't even just confront her cause she's miles away.

_I thought I was ready to talk about this, but I'm not. Not yet._

Finn sighs as he reads her text running his fingers through his hair in frustration, Rachel has never been one to hide from things, and he _knows_ this is not something she has ever dealt with before, but he thought that she at least would want to lean on him for support like she does with everything else in her life.

Finn frowns at his thoughts, she _use_ to come to him with all her problems, but since he put her on that train, it's not the case anymore and shouldn't be a surprise to him that she doesn't come to him about this after all he broke her trust that day. He sighs again, his frustration bubbling up again, but _they_ aren't the issue at the moment, that baby should be their concern and they should be discussing this _together. _He's about to text her yet again, and try to coax her into agreeing for them to at least talk via text if not on the phone when his phone beeps again.

_In response to your original question, I'm feeling much better today. Crackers and green tea seem to help a lot. Thank you for asking._

He frowns at the over polite nature of her text, sure Rachel has never been one to use "text speak" hence the reason he types out every word _and_ uses punctuation its just gotten to be habit. But he's a bit put off by her last sentence though, its almost as if she's surprised he asked, which frankly is just _stupid_ in Finn's opinion. Rachel _knows_ he loves her.

Finn sighs deeply trying to shake the uneasy feeling building up in the pit of his stomach, he knows he should not read into Rachel's texts like this, he can't just assume things but he hates that he and Rachel are such strangers now he can't even decipher her mood from her text messages.

**_Call me later? _**

_Finn._

**_Or just text me? _**

_I'll text you when I get home from classes._

Finn's eyes widen at her last text, surprised she is making the effort, but grateful nonetheless. He's about to press his luck further, to see if she would let _him_ call her but before he can text out his response Ryder calls out to him and Finn remembers he is working and he just quickly sends a text telling her he's looking forward to her text before he goes back to the glee club.

The text never comes that night.

* * *

He gives her exactly 24 hours (well give or take depending on when she actually finished classes the day before) before he picks up his phone to call her. This time the phone just continues ringing instead of her cutting him off, when he gets voice mail he sighs.

"Hey Rach, its me. I don't know if you're still ignoring me or just in class, but can you call me? Or text me? I'm going kind of crazy here and I just _need_ to talk to you. I know you feel like you can't trust me anymore, and that we aren't at that place where we can tell each other anything, but this is bigger than us. This baby is bigger than that and we need to…"

He growls when the voicemail cuts him off mid sentence, he's in mind to just call back and continue, but he doesn't want to piss her off. If he pushes too hard she _will_ get pissed off and it would be even harder for him to talk to her. He plops back onto his bed releasing a sigh his mind going back to that small life he's responsible for yet again, not like he's stopped thinking about the baby, _their_ baby, since Rachel told him. He doesn't even know if Rachel's told anyone, he hasn't told anyone because he would like to talk to her first, his mother still talks to Rachel's fathers more than he thinks is normal for his mom to be talking with his ex parents (then again Rachel is more than just an ex to him) so he can't take that chance and tell her just yet. He's pretty sure Rachel's fathers or Kurt don't know because Finn would have gotten a call, its safe to say he much prefer a call from the latter than the former.

Point is, he has no one to talk to, and in all honesty the only one he wants to talk to is Rachel and he hates that she won't speak to him. He has so many questions, and concerns, questions he _knows_ Rachel has no answers to but he would just feel better voicing it, knowing that she is thinking the same thing. What are they going to do now? Can they really raise a baby in New York? Does New York even make sense anymore? Would Rachel want to move back to Lima? Are they even ready to this? Is he ready to give this kid up for adoption? Is Rachel?

Finn groans in frustration throwing his head back against the bed, these questions have been running through his mind for the past two days and he is nowhere close to answers. He closes his eyes silently willing his phone to ring, for Rachel to call him and when his phone vibrates in his hand suddenly, he opens his eyes widely, groaning when the phone slips from his fingers and hits him in the face.

"Rachel?" He scrambles to answer the phone, wincing as he rubs his forehead.

"Finn, I can't talk right now." Rachel says breathlessly, "I'm on my way to class, and I have back to back classes all day. I'm sorry I didn't text you last night, but after I got home I fell asleep at like 6. I've been sleeping more than normal lately and Wednesdays are my most hectic days. I'm sorry I didn't text you."

Finn breathes a sigh in relief she sounds a lot more upbeat since he last spoke to her, and although slightly frazzled and tired, he's just glad she's not avoiding him still, "It's okay, your sleep is more important. Can I call you this evening then? Or you can call me?"

She doesn't say anything for a few moments, and Finn almost believed the call had been cut until she sighs, "I finish at 6 today, I should be home by 7 if I don't call you by 8, you can call me. I'll leave my phone on loud, in case I fall asleep."

Finn frowns at her words, "No, Rach if you're sleeping I don't want to wake you. You need your rest. How about I call you tomorrow?"

His heart breaks a little when he hears the telltale signs of Rachel's breath hitching at his words, and even more so as her voice wavers as she speaks, "My last class ends at 12, call me after?"

"Do you want to have lunch together?" He asks hesitantly, pressing his luck, he holds his breath waiting for the rejection.

"Finn…"

"We can skype, and have lunch together, its been a while since we've done something like that I know, but I thought maybe it would make things easier you know? I just want to see you Rachel, see that you're okay for myself."

"Finn… I can't… I have to go. " Rachel says her voice breaking, just before she hangs up.

Finn sighs as he listens to the dial tone for a few seconds before the phone cuts off completely, the phone slips from his fingers and onto the bed with a thud. He rubs his eyes furiously, clenching them closed, refusing to let his emotions get the best of him. But hearing her voice, hearing how broken she sounds and he can't do anything about it, knowing that he's partially responsible for it, just completely breaks him. He's trying so hard to keep it together, and he hates that she is all alone in New York just barely keeping it together either, they need each other, he _knows_ that, but he also knows Rachel needs her space. As much as this is shaking _him_ up he knows its probably ten times worse for Rachel, she's the one that's going through all the changes, she's the one that has to live with the daily reminder.

He remembers all too well the first few weeks of Quinn's pregnancy, and how much every choice, every decision she made affected not only her but the baby as well. He knows how much Rachel is going through now and he just wishes he could be there for her. But it's hard to do that when she barely even wants to speak to him. Finn sighs deeply again, his mind going a mile a minute, he's so worried about Rachel, wondering if she's taking care of herself, not just for the baby, but for her own well being, he wonders if he's not the only thing she's avoiding, and if she's avoiding everything to do with the pregnancy as well. He hopes not, he knows she would never be able to forgive herself is something happens to the baby because of her.

A baby. Their baby.

It's been a few days and Finn still can't wrap his mind around that concept, that he and Rachel actually created a life, and he keeps going back to this, going it over and over in his head, maybe saying enough times would make it more real to him. He still doesn't know how he's supposed to feel about this. Figures the moment his life finally has some kind of direction and purpose, he's thrown the mother of all curve balls. He's currently still juggling two jobs, his job at school running glee club, is only an afternoon thing as it's an extracurricular activity, and in the mean time he's still helping Burt out in the shop, taking more shifts than he use to.

Except, today he asked for the day off, claiming a stomach virus, with no glee club as well, he just needs a day to himself. So, he's spent the majority of the day just lying in bed, he's barely eaten these past few days, his mind too preoccupied with other things to have any sort of appetite and he knows he needs to stop that or else his mother will notice, and the last thing he needs is her on his case.

When he thinks of his mother Finn sighs, he can't believe he's doing this to her again, then again he knows his mother she will be supportive no matter what, and this time its different. Sure, he and Rachel aren't together (he's going to get a serious lecture about _that_ one he's certain) but his mother still loves Rachel as if she's her own daughter and Finn knows although his mother will be disappointed and upset, in the end of the day she will still be supportive of whatever they decide to do.

At the thought of his mother, and the immense guilt he feels about doing this yet again, the fact that not only is life going to completely change, but so is Rachel and their parents, Finn bites back a sob.

This is _not_ how it's supposed to be. He's not suppose to be expecting a kid while juggling two measly jobs, waiting to start school in the summer, and 600 miles away from the mother of his child. They aren't suppose to be in different states and haven't spoken or seen each other in months, the only time being that fateful day.

Finn's breathing becomes labored as he tries to control his emotions as he goes over this fucked up situation for the millionth time in his mind, he's so occupied with his thoughts he doesn't even hear the door to his bedroom open, or feel the dip in his bed signaling someone's presence. It's not till he feels a gentle hand on his forearm does his eyes fly open in surprise.

"Finn, Burt said you weren't feeling well today." His mother says softly pressing the back of her palm against his forehead, but from the look she's giving him, he knows that she knows illness is the last thing that's wrong with him, "You've been quiet all week, and now you're skipping work. Is everything okay?"

At her concerned tone, the dam in Finn just breaks and his chest heaves as he rolls towards her burying his face in his stomach. He feels her fingers run through his hair as she rubs his back soothingly.

"Oh Finn, what happened?" his mother asks the anxiety evident in her voice, as Finn sobs, almost four years later and Finn feels as small and helpless as he did the first time this happened.

After a few minutes, and Finn has calmed down, his mother still rubbing his back soothingly, he finally pulls away and wipes his eyes as he looks at her broken, "I messed up."

"Oh, honey. I'm sure whatever it is we can figure it out." His mother says reassuringly wiping a few stray tears from his cheek.

"Rachel's pregnant." Finn blurts out, he watches as his mother freezes, her eyes widening, but then she looks him sympathetically, patting his hand,

"I'm sorry you're hurting. I know you haven't had the easiest time hearing that Rachel moved on, and now this. It's not easy and…"

"Mom no! The asswipe isn't the father! _I_ am!" Finn says quickly, looking at her sheepishly at his foul language, but she doesn't even seem to notice that.

"Finn." She says but then pauses to gather her thoughts, she rubs her eyes pinching the bridge of her nose, so much like Finn does when he's trying to process things, "The last time I spoke to Kurt he was complaining about Rachel and the Ken…I mean that boy she was _living_ with. How….when did you even _see _Rachel?"

"Mr. Schue's wedding." Finn answers, part of him feels like he's 7 again being interrogated about the missing cookies in the cookie jar.

"Finn, honey, don't take this the wrong way but are you _sure_ you're the father?" His mother asks, when she sees his appalled expression she holds up her hands stopping before he goes off on a rant, "I'm just saying, you know I love Rachel, but you can't ignore the fact that she was _living_ with another man. There is a very high chance that this baby isn't yours. I don't want you to go through this yet again. I don't want this to be like that Quinn girl."

"Rachel isn't Quinn Mom." Finn says firmly, "She wouldn't lie to me about this. She knows what I went through with Quinn. She wouldn't do that to me, we may have our differences, but Rachel would _never_ do that to me. If she says I'm the father, I'm going to trust her. Besides she didn't even _tell _the asswi…I mean the dude. She kicked him out, she didn't even _tell_ him. It's my kid."

His mother nods, breathing in deeply before she speaks again, clearly taking his word for this and trusting him and Rachel, "Okay. What happens now?"

Finn freezes at her question, this is definitely _not_ like last time. Last time she took charge, explaining to him what they will do, she took in Quinn no questions asked and told them they would take things one day at a time. This time she is looking at _him_ for answers. On seeing his confused expression she smiles at him sadly squeezing his hand.

"Honey, you're not in high school anymore, you have two steady jobs and very much an adult, you have the capability to take care of a baby. Sure this is not ideal, and not at all what I envisioned for you, but you have to make your own decisions, you're not sixteen anymore."

"You think I can do this?" Finn asks quietly, up until now Finn was convinced he was not ready for this kind of responsibility, that there was no way he can even begin to deal with this.

"You can do anything you put your mind to." His mother says firmly, "But, this is not my decision to make, it's _yours._ You know Burt and I will support whatever decision you make, but you have to do this on your own, you _and_ Rachel have to discus this and consider all your options. You two may not be kids anymore, but you're still young and this is a _lot_ of responsibility for anyone, but especially two young adults barely out of high school. What does Rachel have to say about all this?"

"Rachel refuses to talk to me!" Finn all but whines out in frustration, "She's shutting me out, and there is only so much I can do from so far away. I said something stupid and she got upset and now she won't talk to me. Well, she texts me a few times, but I want to like really talk to her but she won't let me."

His mother frowns at his words, "This is a lot for Rachel to take in as well, you have to remember that."

"But she's not the only one going through this!" Finn grumbles, "I am as well, and we could go through this together, but she refuses to talk about it. I keep telling her I can come to New York, but she keeps insisting I don't. She won't even tell me why."

"Honey, you have to realize this is a lot for Rachel to process, I know you want to be there for her, but its clear that she needs some time to herself. And, you have responsibilities here, you can't just up and leave like that."

"I won't abandon my kid, Mom." Finn bites back, he can't believe she's siding with Rachel on this, not that he thinks there are sides or anything, but she is _his_ mom after all. Shouldn't she be like agreeing with him?

"Of course not sweetie." His mother says calmly squeezing his forearm, "But you going to New York, is not going to help anyone. Rachel still needs some time, you can't abandoned those kids in the last hour. Regionals is less than a month away, you can't just leave them like that can you? If you go to New York, you're going with no kind of plan. Do you even know what you will do when you get there?"

"Take care of the mother of my child." Finn says automatically, and he groans slightly embarrassed at the proud look his mother sends him as she cups his cheeks.

"Have I told you how proud of you I am?" She says softly, "You grew up to be an amazing young man, you know that right?"

"Mom." Finn groans.

But she just smiles, patting his cheek before she pulls back, "But that said, you are your father's son and never think things through. You can't just go to New York and expect things to just fall into place, expect to fits seamlessly into Rachel's life with no plan. Are you keeping the baby? Adoption? What are you planning to do raise a baby in New York?"

"I don't know. I need to talk to Rachel."

"You do, I know she wants her space, but don't let her avoid this forever." His mother suggests, "I know how you are Finn, you're going to think you have to do what is expected of you, but you need to think about yourself first and what do you want. I know you want to put Rachel and the baby first and I'm proud of you for taking that responsibility, but please take the time to think how this affects _you_ and how _you_ feel about all this and what _you_ want to do. Yes, a lot of your decisions are going to take Rachel's feelings and thoughts into consideration, but you need to really think hard about what you want okay?"

Finn bites his lip at the seriousness in his mother's words, "You mean if Rachel decides she doesn't want the baby, but I do?"

His mother nods her head slowly, "It's a very strong possibility, are you ready for that kind of responsibility? You and Rachel have _many_ options and I just need you to make sure you've thought about _all_ clearly."

Finn rubs his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose tightly as her words sink in, he never entertained the idea of him raising a baby on his own. He knows that could very well be a possibility, especially given Rachel's recent evasiveness, but he just couldn't think of that option. Since finding out, he always thought it would either be him and Rachel doing this together, or not at all.

He can't do this alone, nor does he want to do this alone.

* * *

**Reviews are love**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you all for kind words I'm glad you're enjoying this as much as I'm enjoying writing it:) **

**Thanks to katherine for beta :)**

* * *

Rachel sits on her bed with her iPad resting on her lap as she plays with the cover of her case, trying to pluck up the courage to call Finn. She knows she can't just ignore him forever, ignore _this_ forever. It's been almost a week since she told Finn about the pregnancy and she's avoided him for the most part. Well, she's kept him up to date with her health per his request via text messages. But she's been so busy with school as well as being exhausted all the time; she just hasn't much time to do anything but text with Finn lately.

For the most part he's been patient with her, still texting her everyday but not begging to talk. She doesn't know what changed, but she's grateful for the space. Now that it's been a few days and she has the apartment to herself, she thinks it's time she finally stops hiding and actually _talks_ to Finn.

She takes a deep breath and powers up her iPad, pressing the Facetime App. She puts on a smile but it falters as her image pops up on the screen, especially when she sees the dark circles under her eyes and her messy hair tumbled on top of her head. She looks like a hot mess to put it simply, but since it's Finn she knows he won't care. If anything, he'll be more concerned than he already is.

When his face comes into focus, she can't help but smile as he looks at the screen anxiously and relaxes upon seeing her. She realizes this is the first time she's seen him since that night. Her hand moves to her stomach unconsciously and she has to pull it away, glad that Finn can't see her movements.

"Hey Rach." he says softly, smiling warmly at her. She notes that he doesn't look any better than she does; his hair is a mess, he too has bags under his eyes, and he hasn't shaved in a while. She can't help but notice that despite the obvious exhaustion, he still looks good.

"Hi." She responds, returning his smile shyly, "I'm sorry, I haven't called like I said I would."

Finn shrugs at her words, "I'm sorry I've been pushing you too talk. It's a lot to take in, and I guess I'm just used to you being the one I go to when I'm faced with a tough decision. It's hard to break that habit."

Rachel frowns at his words, part of her hating the fact that they have come to this, that they are no longer the people they go to when they have problems. She hates that they are almost like strangers now.

"But, it's kinda good you wanted your space, cause I realized I needed the time to myself to think as well." Finn continues as he rubs his face, the screen shaking slightly due to his movements, "I don't know what to do."

Rachel smiles sadly at his words, shrugging her shoulders in response. She has no words of comfort for him, "I've known for almost a month now, or at least suspected it for a month now, and I _still_ don't know. What are we going to do, Finn? We aren't even together! Or living in the same city. It wasn't supposed to be like this. We can't raise a baby."

"Do you want to give it up for adoption?" Finn chokes out as Rachel watches his face contort into pain. A crease forms between his eyebrows at the thought, and she doesn't need to see his expression to know that he's not too fond of the idea.

"Do you?" She counters back, afraid to voice her own concerns.

"I don't know," Finn says truthfully. He sighs deeply as he leans back against his headboard, throwing his head against it as he pinches the bridge of his nose. "Sometimes I think we can. But most of the time I think we're in over our heads."

Rachel nods her head, playing with the sleeve of her shirt as she breathes in, "Sometimes, I think it's all a bad dream. Sometimes, I think this whole year has just been a bad dream."

"Rach," Finn calls out, his voice breaking slightly.

But Rachel shakes her head, wiping her tears before they could fall, "Don't apologize. You made the right decision…I may not have seen it at the time and it may have taken _this_ to wake me up. But I get why you did what you did. You did us both a favor; we were naïve back then. We weren't ready for marriage."

"Do you think we should now?" Finn asks cautiously, rubbing his neck nervously.

"Finn." Rachel says sadly, "We can't just get married because we're having a baby."

"Why not?" Finn protests weakly. Despite his words, Rachel knows he doesn't believe what he's saying.

"Much like last year, getting married won't magically solve our problems." Rachel says quietly. She doesn't want to point out that she doesn't want to marry someone who might only be doing it because of a baby. That's not the kind of marriage she wants to be in.

"You're right." Finn says with a sigh dejectedly, "I can come to New York and…"

Rachel shakes her head, "Finn…"

"Why don't you want me there?" Finn grumbles, "Don't you get its killing me that I can't be there for you and the baby? I should be there, helping you with this and holding your hair up when you're feeling sick. And going on random cravings runs in the middle of the night. And going to the doctor with you."

"That's sweet Finn, but you have a life in Lima." Rachel points out, her words almost getting caught in her throat. She takes a breath and then continues, "It doesn't make sense uprooting your entire life only for a few months, especially if we…if we give him up."

"Him?" Finn chokes out.

"Oh! I don't know…I'm just…I don't like referring to it as an 'it'," Rachel says sheepishly.

Finn nods, not saying anything for a while. Then looks at her, Rachel's chest hurting at his painful expression, "So, you want to give… give him up?"

"I don't know." Rachel murmurs, licking her parched lips nervously, "I haven't even told my dads yet. I'm only a freshman in college and you are just about to start college. I just don't _know_."

"I told my mom." Finn murmurs. When he sees Rachel's wide-eyed expression he holds up his hands in defense, "I told her not to tell your dads. I think only Burt knows. He hasn't said anything to me yet. I'm assuming since I haven't gotten a call from Kurt yelling at me that he doesn't know yet?"

Rachel shakes her head in the negative, "Santana found the test, so she knows; but, I couldn't tell Kurt. Not before I told you. I'm not ready to…I don't want…"

"Same here." Finn offers softly, and Rachel sighs in relief at his words, neither of them voicing that telling people will make it that much more real. Neither of them is ready for that yet.

Neither of them says anything; there is a silence between them. A silence that used to be more comforting than anything, but now only feels suffocating. Rachel is just about to make an excuse to end the call so she can just curl up in a ball and cry yet again, when Finn speaks.

"I told my mom I'm deferring until the winter term, if I am even going again." Finn says softly.

"Finn! You can't do that! I won't let you put your life on hold for this." Rachel protests angrily.

Finn frowns at her, "Put my life on hold? Rachel this isn't some 7-month _bug_ you have. It's a fucking _baby_. Whether you want to admit it or not, our lives are _never_ going to be the same again. From the moment the doctor told you, hell from the moment that stick thing said positive, that was it. Our lives will _never_ be the same again. You may think giving up the baby means things can go back to how it used to be, but it doesn't work like that. The baby doesn't stop existing after you push it out."

"Don't you think I know that?" Rachel snaps back, her knuckles going white as she grips the edges of the iPad glaring back at him, "Don't you think I know that I'm growing a _life_ right now? That I'm responsible for another human being? That, even if I don't keep him, there will be this little person that is half of you and half of me running around somewhere? Don't you think it _hurts_ me to think that I don't think I can do this? That I am the worst person in the world because I'm even _thinking _about abandoning our child?"

"Rach, that's not what I meant." Finn says apologetically, but Rachel can't even look at him.

Rachel shakes her head, wiping her tears. Her chest tightens when he doesn't contradict her words, basically confirming exactly what she said. Her heart breaks when she realizes that part of him probably hates her now because she is even thinking about giving up their child. She holds back as sob as she chokes out her next words "I have to go."

"Rachel, don't! You can't keep running from this." Finn protests, his voice rising in panic, "Look, I'm sorry. We're both on edge, but that doesn't make it okay for me to accuse you of being indifferent about this or that you don't care. I know this is hard on you as well."

Rachel sniffles slightly, as she pulls her finger that was hovering over the end button back to her chest. She clutches her t-shirt between her fingers, his words not easing her fears one bit. "I feel like all we have been doing lately is apologizing to each other."

Finn nods as he bites his lip, "Both of us have always been a little hot headed."

Rachel smiles slightly at that despite herself. He does make a point though. She grabs the iPad and leans back into her pillows that are piled up behind her. She sighs softly as she gets comfortable, stifling a yawn, "It's 2 o'clock in the afternoon and I feel like I've ran a marathon. I'm so exhausted."

She watches as Finn's eyebrows raise, and he frowns at her deflection. She is having a hard time addressing their future plans, and instead focuses on her body's constant changes. And because Finn wants to be more involved in the pregnancy, he listens attentively to every complaint that she has and doesn't push her about the decisions they need to make. Part of her thinks he's doing his own avoiding as well. She has a sinking feeling they are both on opposite sides of the coin when it comes to their future, and that thought scares her.

"I read that you need twice as much sleep as you normally do." Finn offers, surprising her.

"You've been reading up on pregnancy symptoms?" Rachel asks surprised. She hasn't even gotten a book yet, something very much unlike her.

Finn shrugs sheepishly, "When you told me about your night time nausea, I got curious so I googled it. That's how I knew about the smelling salts thing I texted you about."

Rachel smiles shyly at his words, "Those really helped. I thought the smell would be too strong, cause Kurt's new cologne has been making sick. But those actually stopped my stomach from doing somersaults."

"Have you gotten your appetite back?" Finn asks hesitantly.

Rachel nods, "I ate a black bean burrito for dinner last night."

Finn eyes widen comically at her confession. She has to bite her lip to hide her smile as she narrows her eyes playfully at him. "I blame you for that, just so you know."

"You _hate_ burritos." Finn says with a smile, a smile that is always infectious and Rachel finds herself smiling back in return.

"Yea, figures the baby gets _that_, of all things from you. I'm almost afraid of what other ungodly things I will be eating for the next 7 months." Rachel says with a slightly huff. That is all for show, and Finn sees right through her cause he just grins in response.

"Careful Rach, soon you'll be eating popcorn with _butter_." He utters the last word in mock horror, even so much as to widen his eyes and gasp for effect.

Rachel finds herself giggling at his antics as she shifts, burying herself into the pillow more as she props the iPad opposite her instead of on her lap, "You're not funny, Finn Hudson."

"The smile on your lips says otherwise Ms. Berry," Finn teases.

Rachel yawns, "I'm blaming it on my exhaustion. My sense of humor has increased tenfold."

Finn's laughter fills her small room, bringing a smile to her lips. It's been so long since they have shared a laugh together, tease each other like they use to. Her eyes flutter closed briefly as she snuggles into her pillow. As Finn watches her, the affection on his face becomes more evident.

"Can I call tonight?" Finn voices softly. For a brief moment, she pretends he's next to her instead of miles away.

"Can you call me in two hours?" She asks, prying her eyes open briefly to look at him, "I have some work to do and I don't want to sleep the day away."

"I'll set my alarm." Finn promises, but she suspects he will end up calling her in three hours instead of two, claiming she needs her rest.

"Thanks Finn," She murmurs, her eyes fluttering closed as she drifts off, not realizing he never said goodbye.

* * *

Rachel stands in the small aisle of the bookstore, gnawing on her bottom lip as she looks at the various selections in front of her. She's debating if she should pick up the book or not. She looks around the empty store cautiously, as though she's expecting someone she knows to jump out and catch her browsing the pregnancy aisle. But it's been three weeks since she found out and she knows she needs to start reading up on things. Even if she and Finn still haven't solved anything, it would be stupid for her _not_ to read up on what's going on with her body. Although, she suspects Finn enjoys texting her tidbits of information that he's read up on. She drew the line when he started asking her if her breasts were sore. Finn's texts were becoming the reason why she's in the bookstore to begin with. Ever since she was younger, she's always been on her own when it comes to the workings of her body. She always researched things she doesn't understand, feeling more comfortable doing that than asking her poor fathers to explain things. This should be no different, despite that fact she still finds herself looking at all the books with uncertainty.

She shakes her head at her own ridiculousness and grabs the book "What To Expect When You're Expecting" with an ease that's contrary to what she's feeling. She's about to walk away when another book catches her attention 'Healthy Diet and Exercise While Pregnant.' She debates for about two seconds before she swipes that book off of the shelf as well.

With her head down, she makes a beeline towards the cashier but freezes in horror when a familiar voice calls out to her.

"Rachel?" Kurt asks in surprise. Rachel slowly looks up with dread as Kurt makes his way towards her, "What are you doing in here? Did you come to scope out the hot cashier too?"

Rachel rolls her eyes at that. It figures that because she specifically chose a bookstore in Bushwick as to not run into anyone she knows that she would end up seeing one of the two people that she knows in the area. She smiles uneasily at Kurt as he walks up to her, standing on his tip toes to look at the cashier over the bookshelf next to them.

"What happened to Adam?" She asks, saying a silent prayer that her nosy best friend is too preoccupied with checking out the cute boy to notice what she's holding in her hands.

"Oh Adam is the one that pointed him out to me, sometimes we come in here to read. He's not here today though, some Adam's Apples meeting. We just like to admire the view. We're almost 90% certain he's straight anyway."

Rachel stifles a laugh despite herself at Kurt's ramble, "Well I'm sure Adam won't like that you came here without him."

Kurt laughs, turning to face Rachel. "Probably not. It's his own fault for…what the _hell_ is this?"

Kurt yanks one of Rachel's books from her hand to read the cover. He then looks back at her, his eyes narrowing, "Please tell me this is a _gift_?"

Rachel bites her lip looking at him helplessly, shrugging her shoulders. Kurt gasps, tugging her hand so that he can look at her torso. Rachel groans, tugging her jacket closed, slapping his hand away, "Could you _not_ do that here?"

"Could you _explain_?" Kurt says incredulously. "You kicked out the Ken doll _weeks_ ago. I know he's as dull as dirt and probably has the emotional range of a saucer but you can't hide this from him. Although, the idea of _him_ procreating should be illegal…"

"Brody's not the father!" Rachel hisses out, slapping his arm with her book. "Can you keep your voice down?"

"Not like anyone knows us here," Kurt points out. "I'm pretty sure that's why you came _here_ and not one of the million of bookstores in Manhattan."

Rachel bites her lip cause he has her there. Kurt then slaps her on the shoulder his eyes wide, "Who _is_ the father then? I know you haven't been seeing someone."

Rachel looks at him helplessly and sure enough Kurt puts two and two together and gasps _loudly_, gaining the attention of some of the shoppers. Rachel glares at him as he takes a step closer to her his voice low.

"_Finn_?"

When she nods in confirmation Kurt throws up his hands, "When…how…no I know how. Don't tell me how. Oh _my_ god. But Finn hasn't been to New York since you guys broke up. That was _months_ ago. I don't understand. How long have you been back together? And, if you are back together, why was Finn making me keep an eye on you two weeks ago? I thought that was just a 48-_hour_ bug. Not a 9-_month_ bug. I can't believe this."

"Kurt, can you just shut up?" Rachel grumbles as she yanks the book from his hands and storms off towards the cashier, Kurt on her tail.

"Why didn't you tell me you and Finn got back together?"

"We aren't together." Rachel responds as she reaches the counter. Thankfully Kurt remains silent as she pays, but once they step onto the street Kurt's questions begin again.

"What? So then what are you doing about the baby? Is Finn moving to New York? Are you moving back to Lima?"

"I don't know, Kurt." Rachel says tersely, getting tired of his questions.

"Please tell me the two of you at least _discussed_ this."

When she doesn't respond Kurt groans in exasperation, "Why are the two of you so damn stubborn? Not talking about it doesn't mean it's going to suddenly disappear. You do know you have a time frame, right? That you're literally a ticking time bomb? With less than 9 months, you will blow."

"Thank you for that visual, Kurt." Rachel responds dryly as Kurt pulls open the front door to their apartment. "Not like the sore breasts, vomiting, nausea, crazy cravings, and a million and one other symptoms aren't enough of a reminder as it is."

"I'm just saying, you can't pretend like the problem doesn't exist. The two of you are masters at avoiding things. But you can't avoid this." Kurt points out as they step into their apartment.

"Oh, Lady Hummel finally figured it out?" Santana calls out from the couch, her feet propped up on the coffee table as she eats ice cream from the tub. "Took you long enough. Your lady parts aren't working, you should get that checked out."

"You told _Santana_ before you told me?" Kurt asks Rachel incredulously.

Rachel rolls her eyes as she plops onto the couch grabbing Santana's spoon to dig into her ice cream. Santana for the most part ignores her, but looks at Kurt, tapping her forehead pointedly, "I told you. Psychic Mexican Third Eye knows all."

Rachel shakes her head at that, and closes her eyes, moaning softly as she savors the creamy chocolate taste of the ice cream. When neither Santana nor Kurt speak, she opens her eyes to see both of them watching her closely, "What?"

"Do you want some alone time with that?" Kurt quips dryly, looking at her with disdain.

"Yea Berry, all those late night conversations with Finn aren't doing it for you?" Santana quips, "I told you I could hook you up with a good vibrator that makes Finn's dick look like…"

"Not hearing this!" Kurt babbles as he sticks his fingers in his ears.

Rachel rolls her eyes at his antics and looks at Santana pointedly, "Finn and I aren't together."

"Yet you have his bun in your oven." Santana retorts back, at which Rachel frowns, "Seriously, tell him he owes me dinner for a month for doing his job these past two weeks."

"It's not Finn's job to take care of me!" Rachel snaps, but when Kurt looks at her incredulously she frowns, "What?"

"Please don't tell me you have been telling him this?" Kurt asks in exasperation. When Rachel does not respond, Kurt sighs, "Rachel, of _course_ Finn will want to take care of you and the baby. That's the only way he can feel involved in this pregnancy."

"But I've been keeping him up to date with everything I've been through so far." Rachel protests weakly, hating that Kurt is right.

"So? Do you think he wants to hear about you puking your guts every morning? He wants to _see_ what you're going through, be the doting boyfriend and all that." Santana chimes in.

"He's not…"

"Doting father, whatever." Santana says dismissively. She then sits up and looks at Rachel with narrowed eyes, "Is _this_ the reason why the big lump hasn't come to New York the moment you told him?"

"He has responsibilities in Lima that he can't abandon just to take care of me. I am doing fine on my own."

"It's not about you being able to do this on your own. It's about letting him help and be involved. It's his kid and the only way he can be involved is by taking care of you. Especially if you give the kid up for adoption, this is the only time he can get to know the kid in a sense."

"You're giving up the baby for adoption?" Kurt says in surprise, "What? I didn't think Finn would agree…"

"We haven't discussed it!" Rachel interrupts, her ears ringing at Kurt's latter words about Finn not wanting to give the baby up. "I don't want Finn uprooting his life, moving for a baby that might not even be in our lives."

"Oh for fucks sake, not this again." Santana says in exasperation. She looks across at Kurt, "Talk some sense into her. Tell your idiotic BFF that if Finn moved to New York it would not be _just_ for the baby."

Kurt looks at Rachel incredulously, "Don't be stupid Rachel. You and Finn didn't break up all those months ago because you stopped loving each other. You…"

"We broke up because he couldn't move to New York just to be with me. We broke up because he had no kind of direction in his life and us getting married wouldn't have solved that. We broke up so that he could _find_ purpose in his life. Well, he's found his dream now and he's making it happen. I refuse to be the reason he can't even start to live his dream."

"Did you ever think that maybe _this_ is his new dream?" Kurt asks softly, "Having a baby with you, being a family. He's wanted that since high school. Is it so wrong to think that you and this baby can be his new dream? Did you ever just stop and _ask _him what he thinks? This has always been the problem with the two of you. You both think you know what's best for the other with out ever _asking_ what the other thinks."

Rachel sighs and looks at Santana, but her friend just nods along with Kurt as she takes back her ice cream and spoon, "But what if we want different things?"

* * *

**Reviews are love :)**


	4. Chapter 4

******My goal is to try and update this fic at least once a week. Don't worry I wont' abandon this fic. **

******As always thanks to my beta Katherine :)**

* * *

Rachel stands in front of her full-length mirror in only her bra and jeans, frowning at her reflection. Her boobs are almost spilling out of the cups of her bra, and her jeans refuse to button. There is the barest hint of a swell to her lower abdomen.

Rachel sighs, placing her hand flat on her stomach, "Couldn't you have given me a few more weeks before I needed to buy bigger pants?"

She doesn't know when she started talking to the baby but now it's almost like second nature to her, almost as if she has her own buddy with her everywhere she goes. She knows it's a bad idea. All the books say that's how the mother and child form attachments to each other and that's the _last_ thing she wants to do at the moment. But what started as her making a silent plea to get through the day nausea-free suddenly turned into her having lengthy discussions with her unborn child. So much so that she not only gave her unborn baby an introduction to Barbra (nine months is clearly not enough time to teach the kid _everything)_ by watching Funny Girl, but she also showed the YouTube video of her and Finn singing the song Finn wrote to her. She knows she's just setting herself up for further heartache but she couldn't help herself.

Rachel sighs as she goes to grab another bra, hoping to at least find one that covers her properly when suddenly the curtain to her bedroom yanks open. She drops one of her bras onto the floor and turns to glare at Santana, who struts into her room, clearly on a mission.

"Santana! Closed curtain means privacy!" Rachel protests, despite knowing it's going on deaf ears.

"I've seen your ta-tas before," Santana says dismissively, grabbing Rachel's shirt off her bed and throwing it at her. "They don't do it for me. Even if they seem to have grown twice their size overnight."

"Is it really that obvious?" Rachel asks with concern, looking down at her growing cleavage that is spilling out of her pink bra.

"It is when one of the gay guys at the bar asked if my roommate got a boob job," Santana points out.

Rachel gasps, clutching her shirt to her chest in horror, "I would _never_…"

"Yea, yea. Save the lecture for someone who cares. C'mon, get dressed we're going shopping. I need new shorts for summer and _you_ need clothes that actually fit you."

"I don't need maternity clothes." Rachel whines as she grabs her tights and tugs off her jeans, briefly mourning the loss of her favorite pair as she slips into her tights. "It's not that obvious, right?"

She places her hands on her hips, facing Santana with a frown then moves sideways, "I'm only 12 weeks. All the books say most women don't start showing until at least halfway through the second trimester. I barely even started my second trimester!"

"Whoa there, calm yourself," Santana says, raising her hands up in defense. "Yea, your boobs have taken on a life of their own, but you don't look pregnant. What does your baby daddy have to say about the girls being upsized?"

Rachel glares at her friend. For years she's been trying to get Santana to stop calling Finn all those ridiculous nicknames. It figures that the reason she stops is only because she insists on calling Finn, "baby daddy" or "the boyfriend," _just _to annoy Rachel.

Rachel opens her mouth, about to retort, when her iPad suddenly starts chiming next to Santana, indicating an incoming Facetime call. "That's Finn. I'll text him back…Santana! What are you doing? Don't answer…"

She trails off in horror when Santana flips the cover and presses the screen, grinning at it brightly.

"Hey Finn!" Santana says loudly. Rachel groans, reaching to grab her forgotten shirt before Santana turns the iPad over to face her, cause she _knows_ that her friend will do that.

"Hey Santana," Finn calls out cautiously. "Where's Rachel?"

"She's right here." Santana says grinning as she flips the iPad over, much to Rachel's horror considering she is standing at her dresser with her shirt still clutched in front of her chest.

"Santana!" Rachel hisses. Her cheeks redden, even more so at Finn's wide-eyed expression on seeing her attire, or lack thereof, "Hi Finn."

"Uh….do you want me to call back?" Finn asks uncomfortably as he rubs his neck. But his gaze is fixated on her, or more like her midriff, which is bare cause her shirt is in a tangled mess against her chest.

"I have to go…do my nails. You two have fun." Santana says with a grin as she places the iPad on the bed. She sends Rachel a suggestive wink before she leaves, pulling Rachel's curtain as she goes.

"Sorry about her," Rachel says with a roll of her eyes, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the next at his scrutiny. "Let me just put this on."

"Wait!" Finn says. She can see his face moving closer to the lens, looking at her closely, more precisely, at her stomach. "Can you come a little closer?"

"Finn."

"I'm not looking at your boobs," Finn promises as he looks up at her face smiling sheepishly. "Don't get me wrong, they look great but…are you starting to show?"

"You noticed?" Rachel asks in surprise, removing her shirt to look down at her stomach. She tugs her tights a little lower on her hips and frowns, "Maybe I'm putting on too much weight. I'm only 12 weeks after all."

"Rachel!" Finn calls out. Rachel looks up at him startled, clearly not realizing he was calling out to her this whole time. Finn laughs at her expression and gestures for her to come closer, "Can you come a little closer? I wanna see."

Rachel smiles, his excitement almost infectious. She takes a step towards her iPad, "There is nothing to see, Finn. I really have to ask my doctor about this on Friday."

"Hold up," Finn says, pulling back so Rachel can see he's lounging in the living room of his house. "What doctor's appointment?"

Rachel frowns at his tone, her hands on her hips as she takes a step back to look at him confused. "I told you, my doctor appointments are every four weeks. I was going to tell you what he said after the appointment."

"You told me that your next appointment is _in_ four weeks," Finn says with a frown. "I want to come to the appointments."

"Finn, you can't fly into New York for _every_ appointment." Rachel says exasperated. "I would have told you everything the doctor said. It's just a check up and stuff."

Finn rubs his face, huffing in equal exasperation. He then looks at Rachel seriously, "Can you put your shirt on? I can't have a fight with you when you're topless."

"We're not having a fight," Rachel says with a roll of her eyes, but grabs her shirt to slip on anyway. That _was _a tactic she used to use in high school to get her way, not that she would _ever_ do that now. "We're simply having a disagreement."

"We will be, if you think I'm _not_ coming to New York this week," Finn says seriously.

Rachel takes one look at his expression and she knows there is no room for argument on this. She sighs as she crawls onto her bed, grabbing the iPad. Once she's leaning against the headboard she looks at back at Finn, who seems slightly surprised at her lack of protest. "My appointment is at 2:00pm on Friday. When will you be coming?"

"That's it?" Finn says in surprise, "No fight?"

Rachel sighs, shaking her head. "No fight. I can't stop you. The only reason I told you not to come is because I still have been having issues with accepting this. You're right; you _need_ to be here for this. It is your baby after all. When will you get here?"

"Thursday afternoon. I have Glee club at 2 and I can catch a flight after," Finn says slightly flustered. Rachel would have smiled at his flustered attitude after she threw him a curveball; clearly he had been prepared to fight her until the end. But Rachel is so nervous about Finn's impending arrival that she can't appreciate how cute he is when he's slightly scattered.

"I'm gonna stay for the weekend," Finn says. He's not asking permission, but his voice is slightly hesitant when he informs her of his plans.

Rachel smiles at him warmly, tempering her nerves in front of him. "Okay, I only have one class Friday morning. You can come into the city with me, then we'll go to the doctor?"

Finn nods, he bites his lip as he looks at her with slight uncertainty. "I have to go sort out my ticket and stuff, but Rach?"

"Yea?"

"I can't wait to see you," Finn says truthfully, offering her a small smile.

Rachel can't help but smile at his words, her heart fluttering slightly. "Me too, Finn. See you Thursday?"

Finn nods and they both wave slightly before ending the conversation. Rachel lies back on her bed, clutching the closed iPad to her chest, her heart hammering. It's been three months since she's seen Finn. And now, not only is he coming for her doctor's appointment, but also he's going to be here for more than a day. Rachel doesn't know how to feel about that.

* * *

"Are you sure he said his flight is arriving at 6?" Rachel asks for the fifth time, twisting her fingers nervously. She's pacing their small living room, checking the clock on the microwave yet again.

"Yes, for the millionth time. We both know it's an hour drive from the airport to here. And, that's _without_ traffic," Kurt calls out, exasperated from his room.

Kurt is in his room getting ready for his date with Adam and Santana is already at work.

"I still can't believe the two of you conveniently forgot to inform me that he was coming. Instead, I get a message with his flight information from _Carole_. You would think the two of you had the sense to tell me he was coming."

"I already explained that I assumed he told you. I've been busy with classes," Rachel says sheepishly.

She takes a seat on the couch, wincing as she rubs her lower back in pain. She's barely started showing and already she's beginning to get terrible back pain. Santana told her it's because of her boobs, that they have gotten so big she can't carry them. She _knows_ Santana is just messing with her, but part of her is beginning to think its true. She doesn't even want to begin to imagine what it will be like when she's _actually_ carrying around the extra weight.

"The two of you make life so much more complicated than it is," Kurt says in exasperation as he comes out of his room.

"Shut up, Kurt." Rachel grumbles, not in the mood to deal with Kurt and his opinions. She stifles a yawn and nods when Kurt strikes a pose in front of her, "Knock 'em dead."

Kurt smiles brightly at her comment, but then his smile falters and he looks at her seriously, "Now, I'd like to still have a brother when I get back tonight."

"I'm not going to kill Finn," Rachel says in exasperation.

She bids Kurt goodbye, her mind completely occupied with Finn's impending arrival. It's been months since she's seen him and she's nervous, more nervous than she cares to admit. She and Finn may have come to some sort of routine, and a certain level of ease when conversing on the phone or via video chat, but when they see each other, it's always a whole other ball game.

The sound of knocking pulls Rachel out of her musing and she stands up, taking a deep breath as she makes her way to the door. She pulls back on the handle, opening the door and she can't help but smile when sees Finn standing behind it, a sheepish smile on his face.

"Hey Rach," Finn greets softly.

"Hi." Rachel says standing aside, gesturing him into the loft.

"So, how are you?"

"How was your flight?"

They both say simultaneously. They chuckle slightly and Rachel grabs Finn's duffle from him, "Would you like something to drink?"

"I can carry that." Finn says, going to grab the duffle bag but frowns when Rachel swipes it away from him, a frown on _her_ face.

"I hardly think a duffle bag is too heavy for me," Rachel says sending him a glare when Finn raises his hands in defense.

She huffs and stalks off to her room to put the bag away, silently cursing Finn for making her feel so out of sorts. He's the only one that makes her go so hot and cold in one instant. She hates that she's even nervous around him. When she walks out of her room she smiles at him warmly. He looks at her wearily, no doubt from her rapid change in mood.

"Drink?" She asks again, "We have juice, and I bought rootbeer for you…."

She trails off when Finn grabs her hand, pulling her to a stop. She looks at him curiously and he grins sheepishly. He releases her hand, slipping his hands into the front pockets of his jeans as he looks down at her, "Don't I get a hug, hello?"

Rachel smiles, her cheeks warming up at his words, "Of course."

She takes a step forward and Finn opens his arms as she wraps her arms around his waist, pressing her head against his chest as his own arms encircle her. She breathes in the scent that is just pure _Finn_ and smiles at the familiar warmth of his body against hers.

Neither of them say anything, both of them just standing there in silence, their arms just wrapped around each other.

"Soon I won't be able to do that." Finn says softly, his tone teasing.

Rachel gasps, elbowing him in the gut and earning a laugh in response as she steps out of his embrace, "You take that back."

Finn grins rubbing his side, "So violent."

They lock eyes for a brief moment; both of them acutely aware of where conversations like this would _usually_ go. Rachel clears her throat and looks away, playing with the pendant of her necklace nervously as she speaks, "I bought some food for you. I know you don't really like the stuff Kurt and I eat. I got like burger patties and those frozen burritos. I told you about the root beer and I got some snacks as well. I hope you still like Doritos. I put your bag in my room but I wasn't sure where you would be sleeping. I didn't want to be presumptuous and think you'd bunk with me, but Santana is still sleeping on the couch. I can always just take Kurt's bed and you take my…"

"Breathe," Finn says softly, his eyes twinkling as he places his hands on her shoulders. He gives her that crooked grin of his, making her heart flutter. "We can just bunk together. No big deal, right?"

"Right," Rachel says softly, her cheeks pinking in embarrassment at her mini freak out over sleeping arrangements of all things.

Finn squeezes her shoulders one last time before releasing her, "I missed your crazy."

Rachel smiles sheepishly at his words, "I miss having someone around who _gets_ my crazy."

They both exchange small smiles before Rachel clears her throat, taking a step away from him, "Do you want something to eat? I have pasta and chicken, your favorite."

They basically fill their night with small talk about Rachel's classes and Finn's song choices for Regionals that are in two weeks time. Neither of them is quite ready to broach the subject on why Finn is in New York in the first place.

Rachel sits by her dresser, doing her nighttime ritual and Finn sits on her bed without a word, his iPad in his lap. For a brief moment, Rachel indulges herself in the luxury of pretending this is just an every day occurrence for them. That Finn is sitting in bed waiting for her, as she gets ready. She sighs softly, shaking her head free of those thoughts and goes back to brushing out her hair. Once she's finished, she slips off her robe, hanging it on the bedpost before slipping into bed. The only light shining in the room is from Finn's iPad.

"Do you want me to turn this off? So you can sleep?" Finn asks softly besides her.

Rachel rolls onto her side to face him and smiles lightly, "It's okay. I can fall asleep under any circumstance these days."

Finn grins sheepishly and they both know that is _exactly_ how Finn is as well. After a few seconds Finn speaks again, his voice soft and slightly hesitant.

"Rach?"

Rachel opens her eyes peering up at him curiously, "Something wrong?"

"Do you think…I mean…can I…can I see?" He asks cautiously, biting his lip at Rachel's confused expression he looks down at her stomach. "Your stomach. Just…you know."

Rachel nods, he needs to see for himself. Even though they have been talking about this baby nonstop for 3 weeks, Finn has still only been on the sidelines all the way in Lima. Rachel scoots a little closer to Finn, rolling onto her back. Finn puts on the lamp on his side of the bed, encasing them both in a soft glow.

Rachel raises her t-shirt slightly, just below her breasts and looks across at Finn who is watching her in awe. His eyes wide and his hand slightly outstretched, but he doesn't make a move to touch her. Rachel bites her lip, trying to curb her emotions and trying her best not to cry as Finn really takes in the small swell of her stomach. He looks at her almost as if he's trying to picture their child in his mind's eye.

"You can touch it if you want," Rachel offers, knowing he's just itching to place his hand on her stomach. "There is not much to…oh!"

At her invitation, Finn's hand shoots out immediately and he places his cold hand on her lower stomach, almost a feather-like touch. At her flinch, he looks up at her sheepishly, his palm still resting on her stomach, "Sorry, I forgot how cold my hands get."

Rachel nods smiling lightly, "Its okay. I told you, there isn't much to see or feel. It's more like I just had a big meal."

"No, this is amazing." Finn says in awe, his fingers ghosting over her bellybutton. "That's our kid in there. Soon you're gonna actually like feel him moving and stuff inside there."

Rachel smiles, biting her lip to keep herself from crying. The pure excitement in his tone was breaking her heart. She wishes she could be that excited about this too. Sure, there are times when she indulges in a fantasy or two. Fantasies of Finn and her, raising a cute little boy with dimples like his father and big round eyes like hers. She thinks about the two of them raising this baby in New York and still living out their dreams. But then when her alarm goes off for her afternoon dance class, she remembers all of that is just a pipe dream. They can't do this; they aren't ready for this kind of responsibility. _She _is not ready. It all sounds wonderful in her head, but she's learned the hard way that reality is _never_ like the fantasy she builds up in her head.

* * *

Rachel sits in the bleak, white sterile room of the doctor's office, her leg bouncing with nerves as she looks at the clock above the entrance. It's only 1:50 pm and they still have 10 minutes to wait before it's their turn. Part of her is cursing Finn for his own anxiousness to get here quickly. Instead of taking the cab to her doctor's office, they took the subway meaning they got there much earlier than anticipated. They have already been waiting here for over 20 minutes.

But now with the time nearing closer to her appointment, Rachel's own nerves have taken over and a million things are running through her mind about all the things that could be wrong with her. She wonders if she's been eating right, if she's been getting enough sleep and exercise. Those books she got a few weeks ago are very informative about what she has to look forward to. But they are also very informative of what can potentially go _wrong_ and Rachel is a lot more scared than she cares to admit.

She's so occupied with her thoughts that she doesn't hear her name being called until Finn stands up and looks at her expectantly. They follow the nurse into the tiny examination room, the nurse informing her to change into the hospital gown provided.

"Do you want me to wait outside?" Finn asks uncomfortably.

Rachel shakes her head, grabbing the gown, "Just turn around for me?"

Finn nods, no questions asked as she quickly slips out of her clothes and into the rough paper gown. Once she's seated on the exam table, the paper sheet covering her legs, she calls out to Finn softly, "I'm finished."

Finn turns around and takes a seat on the stool next to the exam table. His gaze is transfixed around the room, taking in the various fetus models and pregnancy slogans. Rachel bites her lip, her feet hitting against the table each time she swings her legs nervously.

She's busy looking at one of the posters, trying to figure out what diagram she's looking at when she feels Finn grasp her knee, stopping her movement.

"It'll be fine." He says softly, his words easing her worries somewhat.

"I know. I guess I'm just a little nervous."

Finn opens his mouth about to offer words of comfort when the door opens. They both look up to see Rachel's doctor.

"Hi Rachel," Dr. Freeman greets warmly, shaking Rachel's hand. He looks at Finn curiously, "I'm guessing I'm meeting Dad today?"

Finn freezes at the doctor's words, his eyes wide. Rachel avoids eye contact with him, plastering a smile and tries to not show how anxious she at the doctor's words, "This is Finn."

"Nice to meet you," the doctor greets. He then turns back to Rachel, "So, how have you been?"

The check-up goes well for the most part. Rachel shares her concern about gaining weight and Dr. Freeman assures her that everyone is different and everything is going well. Once the initial examinations are done, Dr. Freeman looks at them brightly, "Would you guys like to see your baby now?"

"You're doing an ultrasound today?" Finn says perking up. He couldn't hide his excitement if he tried. He grabs Rachel hand, squeezing it tightly, "Does that mean we get to hear the heartbeat as well?"

At his question, Rachel sits up slightly. The thought never crossed her mind. She squeezes Finn's hand in return. "We can hear the heartbeat now?"

Dr. Freeman laughs, plenty accustomed to excited parents. He rolls his stool over to grab the ultrasound machine, "You can. Both heartbeat and ultrasound will be crystal clear now. Well, you know, as clear as an ultrasound can be. Now, Rachel this gel will be a little cold."

Finn sits up, his hand still clenching Rachel's as he looks at the monitor. When the doctor locates the baby, rapid sounds of their baby's heartbeat fills the tiny exam room.

Dr. Freeman grins as he shifts the wand around Rachel's abdomen some more, "And there you have your baby's heartbeat. Steady and fast as it should be."

"Oh my God," Rachel gasps, tears coming to her eyes. She looks back at Finn who is smiling widely.

"And you thought hearing Barbra sing live would be the greatest thing you have ever witnessed," Finn teases.

Rachel laughs at that, wiping her tears, "This is amazing."

Finn nods as pulls her hand to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss against her knuckles, "Awesome."

"And here we have your baby." Dr. Freeman says brightly, spinning the monitor to completely face them once he's finished examining the baby.

Rachel gasps as she feels Finn's grip tighten around her fingers, both of them gazing at the grainy black and white screen, "Finn."

"I know, Rach." Finn says softly, neither of them hearing when Dr. Freeman slipped out the room to give them some privacy. Finn leans forward to look closer at the screen, draping his arms over Rachel's legs, "That's our baby."

Rachel smiles at his words as she looks at the screen in awe at their baby's small body curled up in a ball. She can't believe that little person is currently inside of her, that there is a little person depending complete on Rachel to provide for her. At the thought, Rachel's breath catches in her throat. The level of responsibility she's suddenly trusted with is freaking her out. For weeks now Rachel has been slowly been accepting the changes in her life. But it's not until she actually _sees_ the little person currently living inside of her, the little person she's currently providing for, that the reality of the situation finally sinks in. Seeing the baby makes it that much more real. The thought that every single decision she makes is dependent on this little person she's now responsible for scares her more than she could ever imagine. More and more she's being to realize she may be way in over her head.

Finn places a series of kisses against Rachel's knuckles, unaware of Rachel's inner turmoil, "I really think we can do this Rach."

* * *

Review's are love :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank You for the reviews :)**

* * *

"Finn, if you make one more comment again. I'm going to smack you." Rachel says tersely from her spot at her dresser as she begins to stretch.

Finn is currently lounging on her bed, surrounding by sheet music and set lists. He just got a call from one of the boys from Glee, and apparently they added in some new rules to the competition. So, now he has to change one of the songs and add in a few new moves to their dance routine, in order to fit the bill. Despite all of this, Finn is more focused on Rachel, who is currently practicing her dance routine for finals.

"I'm just asking out of concern." Finn responds but, at the glare she sends him he quickly back tracks, "Not that I don't think you would do anything to jeopardize our baby. I just thought dance may be too stretchous for you."

"_Strenuous."_ Rachel corrects tensely, as she raises her leg only halfway to its usual height. "And I told you already, my dance routine is basic, not at all difficult and it would cause no harm to the baby. I've spoken to my dance teacher, she _knows_ about my situation. So, utter humiliation and ridicule aside, she _has_ reduced my dance routine and allowed me to do something basic for my final. Something, she also brought forward for me, knowing in a few weeks I wouldn't be able to do it."

"Well that's nice of her." Finn says thoughtfully, when Rachel stands up straight and glares at him, he frowns, "No…not nice of her…what a bitch?"

"Don't bother trying to win that one Finn." Kurt calls out from his room. Finn jumps in surprise, he's still not use to how _open_ this loft is, "Once moody Rachel arrives there is no winning with her."

"That would imply that, moody Rachel leaves, but she doesn't" Santana calls out dryly from the other part of the room. "Moody Rachel has been here since Finn's swimmers got her pregnant."

Rachel scowls, her hands on her hips and Finn anticipating a blow out cuts her off before she can speak, "Leave Rachel alone guys."

He watches as Rachel's shoulders drop and the anger from earlier dissipates. She then looks across at him and smiles softly mouthing words of gratitude. Finn just smiles sheepishly, watching as Rachel presses a button on her small stereo and music begins to play.

She starts to dance in the small space between her room and Kurt's. Finn watches on silently, his work forgotten as she gracefully moves across the room. After a few minutes she stumbles slightly and huffs blowing her bangs off her forehead. She winces suddenly, but shakes it off and then starts back her routine.

"I really should be practicing this in the dance studio." Rachel says more to herself than to Finn.

"Why aren't you?" Finn asks, bracing himself in case she blows up at him.

It's been three hours since they've gotten back from the doctors and the reason Kurt and Santana have retreated to their own areas is because Rachel had snapped at both of them. Finn is still not sure what it was about exactly, but he's not stupid enough to ask.

"I can't book the dance studio for an hour; when I have you at home." Rachel says easily. Her cheeks redden at her words and Finn smiles catching the implications of her words. "I mean I wouldn't be a proper host, now would I?"

Finn laughs at her question, offering her the bottle water that is sitting on her bedside table, "Rachel Berry could _never_ be an improper host! The guest always comes first."

Rachel giggles at his teasing, grabbing the bottle as she wipes her brow free of sweat. When she sits back on the bed wincing yet again, Finn frowns, noticing her rubbing her lower back, "Are you okay?"

"Yea, it's just some lower back pain I've been having." Rachel says easily. She eases back on the bed rubbing her back with her knuckles wincing again, "Before you ask, it's a common symptom."

Finn bites his lip as Rachel sends him a knowing smirk as she takes a swig of water. He shakes his head, but then grabs his pillow throwing it next to him. He pushes his papers into a corner of the bed and pats the pillow invitingly, "C'mon I'll massage your back."

"Finn." Rachel says warningly, despite her protests she's eyeing the pillow with slight longing.

"What? You're in pain. We both know how much you love my massages." Finn says nudging her thigh with his leg, which is stretched out behind her.

"It's hardly appropriate." Rachel protests.

Finn rolls his eyes at her comment. He leans forward, taking her water bottle out of her hand and placing it back on the bedside table. He then takes her hand tugging her towards him, "I think we left what's appropriate outside that hotel room."

"Finn!" Rachel says scandalized, but she always him to tug her to the pillow and she lies down on her stomach, using the pillow as a prop, "Even so, that doesn't mean we should…oh! A little to your left."

Finn bites back a laugh as she starts to instruct him where to go.

Some things will never change.

"I'm surprised you haven't asked me if I would squish the baby like this." Rachel says turning her head to face Finn. She closes her eyes moaning in relief when he presses down on a particular spot.

"You can't squish the baby. That's just silly."

"You googled it, didn't you?" Rachel asks knowingly, her eyes still closed.

"It's common sense Rach."

When Rachel's eyes open slightly and she peers up at him with a pointed look, Finn huffs slightly, "I may have looked it up last night, when I woke up in the middle of the night and saw you lying on your stomach. By the way, you're still a blanket hog."

"I am not!" Rachel says with a slight growl, but she doesn't move from her spot, "Move a little higher up. It's not my fault you take all the blanket."

Finn grins at her, as she grumbles slightly between sighs, effectively distracting her. He presses his palm down on her spine, rolling it slightly. His eyes pop when Rachel releases a low deep moan and he curses his body for reacting automatically to that all to familiar sound.

"Oh hell no! You two idiots are _not_ having sex while Lady Hummel and I are home. Do that in your own time, preferably in the motel down the street." Santana calls out

"I second that!" Kurt chimes in agreement.

"Santana!" Rachel says scandalized, she scampers off the bed avoiding all eye contact with Finn as she tugs down her tank top. Her cheeks flushed. "I'm going to shower."

Once she silently gathers her clothes and walks out of the room, Finn throws himself onto the bed groaning loudly. The massage was supposed to help her relax not make things even more awkward between them.

"You better not be slapping the monkey back there Hudson!"

"Fuck off, Santana!"

* * *

Things between Finn and Rachel go back to normal after that, neither of them mentions the slight awkwardness from the night before. Finn doesn't see what the big deal is, he's given Rachel massages loads of times, and this one was tame as they get. It's not like he was expecting anything from it, even if his body reacted that way. He just wanted to help her relax and ease that pain in her back. He's slowly realizing things with Rachel aren't going to go as smoothly as he expected it would be.

"Rach! Do have an extra toothbrush?" Finn asks as he walks into the bathroom, the water is still running in the shower, "Mine, fell outside the window. Don't ask"

"Finn! What are you doing?" Rachel exclaims in shock, her head just barely poking out from behind the shower curtain.

"I'm looking for a toothbrush. I just said that." Finn says, confused by her question, "Do you have one? I was on the fire escape, watching these two birds fighting over a dead lizard. They were on a clothesline. You should have seen them go…."

"Finn! You can't be in here." Rachel exclaims cutting him off, "I'm in the shower!"

"I know that Rach, that's why I came inside, so you would hear me."

"No, Finn, I meant you shouldn't be in here when I'm in the shower. "Rachel explains, "We aren't together. It's not appropriate."

Finn looks at her in surprise, "I saw you in your bra a few days ago. Hell, yesterday at the doctor's office as well. It's no big deal."

"It _is_ a big deal, Finn." Rachel says with a sigh, "Can you let me finish my shower and we can talk about this? When I'm not naked?"

Finn just nods, "I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable."

With that said he walks out of the room, ignoring as Rachel calls out to him. He plops onto the couch rubbing his face in his hands. With all the baby drama, he's forgotten about him and Rachel as a couple. Well, that's not true, it's not that he forgot, he just assumed they would just get back together. He was waiting for the right moment to bring it up. They seemed to be comfortable with each other the past few days. He's beginning to think he was completely off the mark when it comes to him and Rachel, and the status of their relationship.

Fifteen minutes later, Rachel walks out of the bathroom, her wet hair wrapped up in a towel. She's dressed in a pinks shorts and white tank top, Finn smiles when he sees the barest hint of her baby bump as she walks over to him.

"I know things are strange for us now." Rachel speaks, "I know you would never do anything to make me feel uncomfortable, but Finn we aren't together. That means certain things can't happen. You, walking in on me, while I'm in the shower can't happen. When we fall back into old patterns, it makes things confusing for us and things are already confusing as it is, we don't need the added _us_ factor in all of this."

Finn looks at her closely for a moment. He wants to protest, but she makes a point, and he rather they discuss the baby before they even broach the subject of them anyway, "Okay."

"Okay?" Rachel asks, clearly she's surprised by his easy agreement, when he nods his head. She nods in return, "Okay then. I left a toothbrush on the sink for you."

"Thanks." Finn says with a smile. He goes to squeeze her knee in gratitude, but thinks better of it and gets up heading to the bathroom instead. He never sees Rachel's crestfallen expression as he leaves.

* * *

"Well don't you look like you just fit right in this apartment." Kurt teases as he slips into the loft. He hangs up his jacket and goes to the fridge pulling out a bottle of water and root beer as he makes his way to Finn.

"Think you can convince Rachel of that?" Finn asks dryly as he shifts on the couch to make room for Kurt, thanking the younger boy for the root beer.

"So, is that the plan? You're going to move to New York?" Kurt asks curiously.

"That's _my_ plan. Once I take the kids to Regionals, then I was going to look for a job here and move after." Finn says with a shrug taking a sip of his root beer.

"_Your_ plan? As in you haven't informed Rachel that you plan on being a permanent resident in her _bed_? And her life?"

Finn scoffs at his brother's words, "She's carrying my _kid_ of course I was going to be in her life. I'm pretty sure the bed thing is off the shelf, anyway. Besides, I will tell her of my plans if she would actually _talk_ about this. We're having a kid in less than 5 months and we don't even know what we're doing. She refuses to talk to me about this and every time I bring it up she changes the subject."

Kurt frowns as he looks at Finn closely, "What's really bothering you? You seem more on edge than normal."

"What if she doesn't want to keep it?" Finn asks his voice breaking slightly.

"You think she wants to give it up for adoption?" Kurt asks in surprise, he places closes his water bottle giving Finn is full attention, "Why would you think that?"

"I know Rachel is having a hard time with this. Hell, I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it, but she's very distant and I think it's more than the shock of the pregnancy. I think she wants to give up the baby but is afraid of how I'll take it. But I think she's just scared. She doesn't have to do this alone. We can figure it out together."

"And if she wants to give the baby up? What then?" Kurt asks curiously, "Are _you_ going to raise the kid on your own? I know Rachel is like growing the kid and all, but you're the _Dad_, Finn. You get a say what happens as well. Don't just go along with Rachel, because you think you are suppose to."

"I'm not talking about having a _puppy_ Kurt. This is a kid, my kid. I don't think I can do this without her. Every kid needs a Mom."

"No, every kid needs a person to love them and who wants them." Kurt corrects, "It doesn't matter who it is. Look at Rachel, she never grew up with a mother and she came out relatively sane, current mood swings aside."

Finn rolls his eyes, he knows his brother is just teasing about Rachel, "I didn't mean it like that. I just want the kid to have two parents. The kid _does_ have two parents. I know Rachel is just scared. She thinks, because she grew up without a mother, she wouldn't be cut out for it. But, Rachel is the most caring person I know. How do I fix this Kurt?"

Kurt sighs sadly, he scoots closer to him, squeezing Finn's shoulder in comfort, "This isn't something you fix Finn. It's not like there is some special band-aid that you put on this and make it right. You and Rachel have to really sit down and talk about what you both want. I thought that was the whole point about you coming to New York this weekend?"

"I came for the doctor's appointment and to see Rachel." Finn says sheepishly, "I assumed that being here Rachel and I would kind of slip back into how things were and we 'd just figure things out together, you know?"

"Finn." Kurt says in exasperation, "You thought just _being_ here meant you and Rachel would get back together? That everything would just magically fall back into place?"

"Even when we're apart we're drawn to each other. This was like a big neon sign for us, and I just thought it was the universe's way of doing its thing."

"What?" Kurt asks baffled, looking at Finn strangely.

Finn shakes his head, sighing deeply as he throws his head back against the couch, "Nothing. I have to talk to Rachel. Talk about what we both want and figure out things from there. Okay, your turn."

"What?" Kurt repeats. He's now looking at Finn, as though the older boy has lost his mind.

Finn rolls his eyes, "You know. I tell you about my Rachel woes, and then you tell me about your boy troubles. That's how this goes."

Finn watches in amusement as Kurt's entire body relaxes and his brother throws his head back against the couch. He smiles widely, "I don't have boy troubles. I just have my sexy British boyfriend who has abs you just want to…"

"_Dude_!" Finn screeches sticking his fingers in his ears, for dramatic effect, "We have rules! I don't talk about me and Rach like that and you don't tell me about how good your boyfriend's abs are."

Kurt rolls his eyes, but then grins dreamily, "Adam is great."

Finn laughs as he takes a sip of his forgotten root beer and gets comfortable as his brother tells him stories about his latest boyfriend.

* * *

"But that doesn't make sense. Why doesn't she sing this with her boyfriend?" Rachel asks confused looking down at the song lyrics in front of her.

It's late Sunday morning; Finn and Rachel are both going over New Directions' set list. Rachel is helping him decide how to change up the new addition of an original song for Regionals.

"They did the song together a few weeks ago and the kids decided they wanted it for Regionals. I asked them to sing with someone they never did a duet with before." Finn says with a shrug.

Rachel takes a few pieces of popcorn, from the bowl sitting between them, popping it into her mouth, "Wouldn't it make more sense, if she sang with her boyfriend? It's Puck's brother right? Blaine is lovely, but I'm certain she will have better musical chemistry with her boyfriend."

"I know, but I told them they would have the final say on who sings what." Finn says sheepishly.

"Ask them to sing it. I'm sure she's practiced with him while she wrote it." Rachel suggests, "We both know two good voices aren't all that it takes to win the competition. They need to have the musical chemistry."

Finn smiles, about to tease her about _their_ musical chemistry back at the wedding, but then decided she might not have appreciated that, "You should come and help out when Nationals comes around. You said finals are in three weeks right? It's something to do for the beginning of summer."

"Finn, I'm not going back to Lima for summer."

"What? Why not?" Finn asks incredulously as he sits up the bowl of popcorn shaking at his sudden movement. "I thought, once finals were over, you would come to Lima and we could discuss our next steps. The baby is not due till November, but I assumed you would want to come back home for a while. What could you possibly want to stay in New York for? Your family is in Lima, _I'm_ in Lima."

"My dads don't even know!" Rachel shouts as she slips out of the bed. She throws her hands up in the air, "I haven't told them okay?"

Finn looks at her closely, as her eyes begin to fill with tears, "Rachel, this is not something you can keep from them. You can't expect to stay in New York and have this baby without them knowing. They deserve to know about their grandchild."

Rachel sighs as she plops onto the bed, Finn heart aches as he watches her curl herself into a ball,"I'm just a disappointment and a failure."

"Rach." Finn says softly. He crawls over to her side of the bed and gathers her in his arms. Rachel buries her face into his t-shirt as she begins to sob, "You know that's not true. Your dads would never _ever_ think that of you. Remember last year? When you messed up your audition? What was the first thing your dad said?"

"Choking on an audition, and having a baby is not the same thing Finn."

"Your dad said." Finn continues, ignoring her comment, "There was nothing you could do that would make them love you any less. He said failure is a part of life and all you do is learn from it. But Rachel, this is not a failure. This is just _life_. Sure it's not what we wanted or expected, but now that it's here we have to deal with it."

Neither of them says anything, for a while Rachel sobs are the only sound that can be heard in the tiny loft. After a few moments, she pulls away from Finn and takes a deep breath. She wipes her eyes and then looks at him seriously, "I want to give the baby up for adoption."

Finn face falls, his heart hammering in his chest as he sits up. His greatest fear is being confirmed, "Rachel, you can't be serious. This is our _baby_. You can't just give him up, cause you think you can't do that."

"It's not just that." Rachel implores, she's kneeling on the bed, facing Finn now, her eyes still filling with tears, her cheeks stained red, "_We're_ not ready for this kind of responsibility Finn."

"How do you know that?" Finn counters, "How can you really determine that before we can even…"

"Before we can try? Finn this is a _baby_. There is no trial period for us to _see_ if we can do this."

Finn shakes his head from side refusing to listen to her words, "No I refuse to believe that. We aren't kids Rachel…"

"That's just the thing Finn we _are_!" Rachel shouts, she takes a deep breath clenching her fingers together, "We're barely out of high school. You have a job working for your stepdad and I'm in school. We don't have proper jobs. We can't provide for this baby. I have school, a school I worked so hard to get into…"

"So what? You don't need school to get on Broadway." Finn points out, "You can do that later on. Broadway is not going anywhere Rach. I can move to New York, we can get an apartment, be a family."

Rachel shakes her head sadly, she moves to grab Finn's hand, but he yanks it away from her, "Finn its not that simple, we aren't even together. How can we be a family?"

"Are you saying you don't love me?" Finn asks, his voice breaking, his eyes stinging as he holds back his own tears.

"Finn, you _know_ I love you." Rachel says her own voice breaking as she crawls closer to him. She bites back a sob as she grabs his hand yet again, "But we both know love isn't enough here. We broke up for a reason last year. That reason hasn't changed. We can't just get back together because of the baby."

"Why not?" Finn pleads, "Why can't that be enough? Why can't _we_ be enough?"

"You know why Finn. You know we can't just get back together because of the baby, that's putting too much pressure on the baby. We're aren't ready for this kind of responsibility."

"What if I want to keep the baby? What if I decide to raise the baby?" Finn counters, he slips out of the bed, wiping his own tear-streaked face. He pulls himself to full height unsure where this confidence and conviction is coming from.

"What?" Rachel asks her eyes wide, "What are you saying?"

"What if decide I'll take the baby? I'll raise him." Finn says this time his voice firm. He sounds much more confident than he feels.

"Finn, you can't be serious." Rachel says incredulously. Finn can practically see the fire burning in her eyes. If he was in a better frame of mind and his emotions weren't all over the place, he would have stopped things before they went any further, "Are you doing this to hurt me?"

"Everything is not always about you, Rachel." Finn spits back, "I'm trying to do what's right for _our_ baby."

"And you don't think I am?" Rachel yells back scampering off the bed to face Finn. She's the only person, that's never been deterred by his looming height, "You don't think that's what I'm doing? What's best for the baby? That I haven't agonized over this for _weeks_?"

"Well you seem very anxious to just get this pregnancy over with and ship him off to god knows who." Finn growls, "Well I'm sorry if me deciding to raise _our_ baby, interferes with your plans to go back to school and make your way to Broadway. I'm sorry if you can no longer pretend that these nine months never happened."

He doesn't even see Rachel move until he feels the hard sting of her palm against his face. The slap makes his ears rattle, and his cheek burns. Rachel is cradling her now sore hand against her chest, but she glares up at him angrily, "Fuck you, Finn."

Finn rubs his cheek, both of them are breathing hard and glaring at each other. He opens his mouth about to retaliate, but stops himself. Instead he turns around and heads to the armchair that has his duffle bag.

"Finn, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have slapped you. Would you stop packing your bag?" Rachel apologizes, watching as he continues to shove his clothes into the bag, "Look, we're both upset. Let's just take a breath and talk about this."

Finn shakes his head, "No, I can't talk to you right now. I'm angry, and when I'm angry I say stupid things. I'm just going to go."

"Go where?" Rachel asks incredulously, "Your flight isn't for another 6 hours! Finn you can't run from this! We need to discuss this together"

"That's rich, coming from you." Finn snaps back at her, and he can see her entire demeanor change, and her shoulders stiffen at his words.

"I wasn't the one that ran in the middle of the night. Last time I checked _I_ was the one who had to jump on a plane and run after you, because _you_ refused to talk to me."

"Well, it's a good thing we aren't together then?" Finn asks sadly, "I'm not running from a relationship that doesn't exist. I'm not running from anything. I just simply need some space. You know if you need anything you can call me."

"So that's it then?" Rachel asks her voice hard "That's all I am to you now? Just an incubator for your baby?"

"Don't be stupid Rachel. "Finn says angrily, "Stop putting words in my mouth. _This_ is why we can't talk right now. We both know how we get when we're angry. It's best I leave now before we say things we can't take back."

Rachel nods as she takes a seat on her bed, wiping her eyes. Finn sighs, he's still so angry and hurt, but he hates leaving her looking as broken as he feels. He walks up to her and cups her cheeks wiping her stray tear, as she looks up at him tearfully.

"You know I love you right?" He asks softly.

"Finn." Rachel voice breaks.

Finn pulls his hand away and smiles down at her sadly, "You were right. Love isn't enough."

Rachel releases a sob as Finn grabs his jacket that's hanging over Rachel's in the corner of the room, "I'll call you tomorrow."

He never makes the call.

* * *

**Reviews are love ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**WOW the response for the last chapter blew me away, you guys are awesome! I love that almost everyone can't decide who is right. Thank you for not only reading this but taking the time to leave a review, it means a lot to me :)**

* * *

It's been almost a week since Rachel has heard from Finn. She's tried to contact him, but he hasn't responded to any of her calls or texts. She doesn't know what to say to him, she has nothing to apologize for, and she knows it's not an apology that he's looking for anyway. She knows that he's just angry and upset about the whole situation. She wants to explain to him, get him to understand her point of view, but she can't do that if he won't even return her calls. She thought with everything that has happened, they would have gotten past this childish cold shoulder attitude. Then again, not even 4 weeks ago, she was giving him the same treatment.

Rachel looks at her phone for the fifth time, sighing yet again when she only sees her smiling face smiling up at her, holding her winter showcase trophy. There are no notifications from Finn.

Rachel scowls in annoyance unlocking her phone and typing out a quick message.

**_You're being childish, Finn Hudson_**

When she doesn't get a response, she growls in annoyance swiping her fingers furiously against the screen.

**_Ignoring me won't solve anything. _**

**_You're being a hypocrite Finn._**

Her phone still remains silent. She huffs, throwing her phone across her bed in frustration. She picks up her History of Contemporary Music textbook intending to focus on studying than her stupid…than Finn. She spends all of five minutes before she growls again and grabs her iPad off the bedside table.

"If it's a battle of who is more stubborn. I will _always_ win Finn Hudson." She mutters angrily to herself as she presses the FaceTime app. She then grabs her phone and presses the call button there. She is certain that he has to answer at least _one, _but both of them cut off at the same.

"God damn it." She growls in frustration. She grabs her iPad going through her apps. Once she finds the app she is looking for, she smirks when she realizes Finn hasn't changed his password. She grins to herself as she locates his phone seeing that he is at home. She then proceeds to activate the alert button _and_ sends his phone a message.

**_Answer your phone. I won't stop. _**

For good measure she types in another message.

**_I'll call your mother_**

She grins in triumph when her phone starts to ring to the familiar tune she assigned to Finn's number.

"You know when _you_ were ignoring my calls. I eventually gave you, your space." Finn says angrily into the phone, without greeting her, "Is it so hard to do the same for me?"

Rachel bites her lip guilty at his tone. She sighs dejectedly, "Maybe hacking into your phone locator account was taking it too far."

"You think?" Finn asks sarcastically. He sighs deeply before he speaks, "Rachel, I understand you want to talk, but I'm just not ready to talk to you. I'm still _so_ angry and we will get nowhere, when I'm feeling like this."

Rachel bites her lip, "I'm sorry. I know you're hurting."

"Rach, just give me time okay?" Finn asks softly. His broken voice, breaking her heart. She hates that she is the reason for his pain, but she still firmly believes adoption is the best option for them. She just wishes he could see that.

"Okay. I'm sorry for being an insufferable nag. Sorry about hacking into your account, that was highly inappropriate."

To her surprise Finn chuckles lightly, "You wouldn't be you, if you didn't exhaust _all_ your options. Besides, it's not really hacking when you know the password."

Rachel smiles sheepishly at his comment, "You should really change that, you know. You're supposed to change your password every 6 months."

"Apparently the only person I have to hide it from is stubborn girl…stubborn girls who use it to contact me." Finn teases. Neither of them addresses his almost slip of the tongue.

"Are we going to be okay, Finn?" Rachel asks softly.

"I don't know, Rachel."

* * *

Finals are a blur, she goes through the motions with them, spending most of her time worrying about the baby, her future and if Finn would ever forgive her for this. After their phone call, the rest of their interaction consists of short text messages every few days from Finn, inquiring her about her health. When she tries to ask about Regionals preparations, she only gets one word answers in response. But, other than that they don't speak, and she finds herself missing their daily chats, some of which would go on for hours. She doesn't know when it happened, but somehow in the past seven weeks she got back her best friend and she hates that it takes this complete lack of contact to make her realize how much she missed their friendship.

Now, with school finally out of the way, at least for the remaining of her pregnancy. Rachel stands at the foot of her bed with her bright pink suitcase lying open on the bed. It's time for her to start facing her fears, more specifically, getting Finn to understand her reasons for adoption, and talking to her fathers.

With the thought of her fathers Rachel's chest tightens, she looks down at her now obvious baby bump and sighs rubbing her stomach lightly, "No more running."

She shakes her head and goes back to packing her bag. She frowns when she realizes so many of her usual clothes don't fit her anymore, so she's been living in her summer dresses for the most part and flats. She yawns, stretching her arms over her head, just as the curtain to her room is pulled open.

"Whoa! Did that grow over night?" Santana asks in alarm, she frowns when she sees the suitcase, "Are you running away?"

"I'm going home." Rachel says with a roll of her eyes. She rubs her stomach affectionately smiling at the roundness of her stomach, "I've read that sometimes that it can get significantly bigger overnight."

"Well, you no longer look like you got a boob job." Santana comments dryly, "Congratulations you are officially pregnant."

Rachel scoffs at her friend's words, "Trust me, the moment I started vomiting my breakfast _every_ morning was when I officially became pregnant."

"Or more like when Finn's swimmers had a party in your lady parts." Santana says sarcastically, "So, you're finally going to tell your dads?"

Rachel sighs taking a seat on the bed. She clenches the T-shirt in her hands, "I'm mostly going to talk to Finn. It's been almost three weeks since we've really talked and we need to start making some kind of plan. We need to come to a decision. It's time I tell my dads too."

"You think?" Santana asks sarcastically. When Rachel glares at her Santana doesn't even blink, "What? You know I'm right. You're almost _4_ months along and you're only _now_ going to tell them. You know they are going to be supportive no matter what you do. Hell they'd move to New York to help you raise the kid."

"I know." Rachel says with a sigh.

"So, what's the problem? I swear you're even more confusing since you got pregnant."

"I feel like I'm just disappointing them." Rachel says with a sigh, "My parents and Finn's parents shouldn't have to help us raise our baby, just because we were stupid and irresponsible."

"This kid is their grandchild, no matter the situation your parents are going to want to be involved anyway. You need to stop treating this like it's the end of the world," Santana says in exasperation, "So, you guys messed up? It happens. Stop dwelling on it. It's not going to change anything. Stop beating yourself over this. If you actually looked at yourself, you'd realize you've been _enjoying_ this pregnancy. I've lost count how many times I've heard you speak to that thing."

"He's not a thing!" Rachel says defensively, putting her hand on her stomach protectively. Santana's eyebrow just arches at Rachel's reaction. Rachel bites her lip as she looks over at Santana, "What if I can't do it?"

"Raise the kid?" Santana asks.

"No, give him up for adoption." Rachel says biting her lip, "I _know_ this is the right choice. I _know_ he deserves the best. Finn and I can't provide him that. He deserves to go to parents who can do that for him."

"Do you think there are two people in this world, who will love this baby more than you and Finn would?"

"No." Rachel says quietly, "But it's not just about that though. Shouldn't he get a life with two parents who can give him what he needs? Neither Finn nor I have proper jobs, we can't provide for him the way he should be cared for."

"Rachel, there is no right or wrong decision here." Santana says calmly, "You can list a thousand reasons why you should give the baby up, but if you decide you can't do it. Then you can't. That doesn't make you a bad person."

"Doesn't it?" Rachel asks, "Doesn't that make me selfish, if I the only reason I can't give him up, is because I don't want anyone else to raise him? That's not fair to him."

"Is it?" Santana counters, "Is it really? You and Finn will love and care for the kid more than anything. That's all the kid needs, to be loved and cared for. You wanting to raise your kid; is not a bad thing Rachel."

"You think I should keep him?" Rachel asks softly, placing her hand on her stomach again.

"I think you should talk to _Finn_." Santana says pointedly as she zips up Rachel's packed suitcase and putting it on the floor for her, "You guys still have 5 months to decide."

"How am I supposed to convince Finn, that giving up the baby is the right thing to do, when I'm not even sure myself?" Rachel asks huffing slightly as she lies back on her bed.

* * *

Five hours later, Rachel finds herself standing in front the Hummel-Hudson home, her pink suitcase at her feet. She's at the bottom of the stairs, gazing up at the two-story house with apprehension. It's only after 4:00pm; she knows Finn isn't at home yet. New Directions glee rehearsals usually go till 6 the week before competitions. She takes a seat at the foot of the stairs, intending to wait for Finn, when the front door opens much to her surprise.

"Rachel?" Carole calls out in alarm

Rachel quickly gets to her feet, brushing off the imaginary dust on her dress. She automatically tugs her jean jacket over her slightly protruding stomach, "Mrs. Hummel, Hi. I was just waiting for Finn. I know glee club doesn't end till 6 today."

But, Carole looks at the suitcase at Rachel's feet then back at Rachel, her face one of incredulity, "Did your fathers' kick you out?"

"What?" Rachel asks in alarm, then looks back at her suitcase, "Oh no! I haven't been home yet. I came here straight from the airport. I wanted to talk to Finn first."

Carole nods, she grabs the handle of Rachel's suitcase lifting it off the three steps gesturing for Rachel to follow her, "Has he still been ignoring your calls? I told him pouting about this isn't going to solve anything. You two seem to think ignoring each other is the way to solve your problems."

Rachel can't help but smile guiltily at the older woman's comment. Clearly Finn's mother knows about Rachel's similar attitude a few weeks ago.

Once they are inside, she hangs up her jacket on the hook and toes off her flats, "Oh no we've talked since then. I was giving him some space. I know he's not too pleased with me at the moment. I figured coming unannounced would be better."

When she doesn't get a response, she turns around and freezes at Carole's gaze that is fixated on her abdomen. Rachel looks down at her dress, now that she has removed her jacket is very obvious that she is pregnant.

Rachel places her hands on her stomach, looking at the other woman shyly, "I only recently started showing. Before it looked like I just had too much to eat. Now…"

"You look lovely, Rachel." Carole says sincerely, smiling brightly at Rachel. She gestures for Rachel to follow her as they both head to the kitchen.

"Things were so different last time." Carole says quietly as she prepares drinks for the both of them. Rachel bites her lip, knowing all too well how Quinn's lies turned Finn's family upside down, "By the time the truth came out I still hadn't gotten to know Quinn and given the circumstances I didn't really care to get to know her after."

Rachel remains quiet unsure where Carole is going with this. She takes a seat at the center counter, shifting nervously on the barstool. She smiles in gratitude when Carole hands her a class of lemonade.

"But, with _you_." Carole says, taking a pause to take a sip of her own glass of lemonade, "I know you. I watched you love my son the way no other woman has. I've watched my son become the man I hoped he would be. I watched as his affection for you grew to unconditional love. I saw how broken he was when he let you go. I also watched as he grew up because of it and found himself; found his calling with glee club, with teaching."

"I told him not to defer!" Rachel interrupts, "I told him he shouldn't put this amazing on opportunity on hold. Finn is capable of so much, and he's finally seeing what I've seen all along. He can't give that up."

"For someone who has such faith in Finn's ability, you seem to have very little faith in Finn's capabilities to make his own decisions." Carole points out.

Rachel freezes at that, not expecting Carole to not agree with her, "You think he shouldn't take that opportunity? It's a partial scholarship! Last year Finn was beating himself up cause he didn't think he could even get into a university!"

"Rachel, it could be a full scholarship all expenses paid. But, if Finn doesn't want it I'm not going to force him. I know you think this, is what's best for Finn. I always admire that about the two of you, the sacrifices you both made for the benefit of the other. But, you have to realize that Finn is the only one that knows what's best for him."

"And raising a baby at 19 with no form of a steady job, is what's best for him?" Rachel snaps back. Her eyes then widen in horror at her tone, but Carole for the most part seems unfazed by Rachel's tone.

"You're missing my point. It doesn't matter what _I_ think is best for Finn, only Finn can decide that. I'm going to support whatever decision he makes" Carole says firmly.

After that outburst, Rachel is pretty sure that not only did she offened Finn's mother, but also outstayed her welcome. Rachel is about to slip off of the barstool and offer to wait in Finn's room for him. But, to her surprise Carole speaks again, the woman words surprising her to say the least.

"I watched you grow up as well Rachel. I watched you go from that moon-eyed girl who adored my son to this young woman who loves my son more than I could ever imagine or hoped for. But, you've also become like a daughter to me and I need you to promise me something."

Carole walks over to face Rachel, smiling at her warmly, "I need you to promise me, that when you and Finn come to a decision, you don't let your fears make that decision for you. Promise me, that this decision will be what's best not only for the baby but for you and Finn as well."

"I promise." Rachel says her voice breaking. Her lips quiver and when Carole engulfs her into a hug, she released the sob she was trying to hold back.

"It's going to be okay." Carole says soothingly as she rubs her back.

Once Rachel's sobs subside, the older woman pulls back and smiles at her warmly, handing Rachel a napkin, "Why don't you lie down in Finn's room? He won't be home for another hour or so."

Rachel nods, wiping her nose as she slides off the stool, "Thank you Mrs. Hummel."

"Call me, Carole." Carole says warmly, as she squeezes Rachel's shoulder before Rachel leaves the kitchen.

* * *

Rachel wakes up to the sound of a deep voice talking to her, but it sounds slightly muffled. She feels a warm breath against her bare stomach, fingertips just barely touching her skin. That's when she realizes the voice belongs to Finn, but he isn't speaking to her, but to her stomach.

"I know it doesn't seem like it. But, your mom, she loves you more than anything in the world. All of this wouldn't be so hard on her if she didn't love you."

Rachel has to bite the inside of her cheek, to prevent her from crying out at his soft words. She remains as still as possible when Finn continues to talk not aware that she is awake.

"You were always part of her plans. Maybe just not so soon, and I think that's what freaks her out the most. One thing you'll learn about your mom; is that she loves to plan things. Charts, calendars, planners, those things are how she functions and she would try and plan out her life like that if she could. I know it seems silly, but you learn to love those quirks about her, you'll see…well I hope you'll get to see. You are very much part of her plan. Granted, I know you're about 5 or 7 years too early, but you were always part of her plans. You gave her a loop though….made her a loop?...point is you _surprised_ her and like I said your mom doesn't do well when…._threw_ her for a loop!... That's it you threw her for a loop! She was not expecting this; neither of us was to be honest, and I think she just needs the time to realize she can do this. We can figure it out together. We're always at our best, when we work together, she knows that. Just give her time, you'll see."

Rachel heart breaks at his words, part of her wondering if she's making the right decision. She wonders if Finn and his mother are right. Is she letting her fears that she might fail at this, making her decision for her?

"No matter what happens, I want you to know that I love you. I may not be able to promise you much right now. I don't know where you'll be or if we'll be together. But, one thing I can promise you, no matter wherever you end up, is that I'll love you forever." Finn promises his voice breaking and full of emotion.

When he places a soft kiss on her stomach, its like the dam breaks and Rachel releases a low sob. Finn looks up startled, "Rachel."

"I'm sorry." She sobs out, as he crawls to the head of the bed. She doesn't even wait for the invitations, but crawls into his arms, burying her head in his shirt. "I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can give him up."

"Baby, we don't have to give him up." Finn says soothingly, neither of them noticing the term of endearment. He rubs her back, pressing a kiss on the top of her head, "We can do this. We'll figure it out together."

"But, we _have _to give him up." Rachel says between sobs.

"Rachel, we don't have to…"

"But we _do." _Rachel insists as she sits up. She wipes her eyes and looks at him sadly, "We can't give him the life he deserves Finn."

"You don't know that!" Finn argues. He grabs her hand squeezing it tightly, "I know you're scared and you think that you can't do this. But you aren't alone in this Rach, we'll help each other out. I know its scary and the idea of raising a baby.…"

"Finn, I'm _terrified_ at the idea of raising a baby." Rachel confesses, "I'm terrified that I will be no good at this. I never grew up with a mother, I wouldn't even know how to be one."

"I didn't grow up with a dad." Finn points out, "We can figure it out together. We wouldn't be alone. You have _two_ dads, and I had one awesome mom. I think we have enough role models to help show us the way. It's not going to be easy, but we can do it."

"I can't take the chance that I could fail at this." Rachel says honestly, "I refuse to fail my child because of my shortcomings."

"No one goes into parenting, thinking they are going to ace it Rachel." Finn reasons.

"It's not just that. It's _everything_, the responsibility of raising a child. Can we do that?" Rachel asks, tugging at his hand trying to get him to understand her point, "Are you ready to take care of another human being? Are you ready to _raise_ this little person? Are you ready for the responsibility that comes with it? We don't have the money to provide for him, Finn. If we decide to keep him, where are we going to live? In New York? Kurt, Santana and I barely make ends meet in our apartment. You _know_ how expensive it is to live there. We can't afford childcare, you'll be working some measly job; maybe even multiple jobs just to provide for all of use and babies are _expensive_. You'll never get to see us; that's not fair to you or the baby. I don't want to raise a baby who won't even get to see his father. I know Broadway is out of the picture for me, for now, but I can't let you do that. I know you, and you're going to want to provide for us, the best you can. I know how much you love me and this baby, but I also know you will beat yourself over not being present for a lot of his life. That's not fair to him, or to you."

Rachel heart breaks as she watches Finn's shoulders sag as he takes in her words. His thumb brushes over her knuckles continuously as her processes her words, "What if we live in Lima? We'd have our parents, and once the baby's older, we can move back to New York. You can go on auditions and I…"

"Finn…baby… _please_ listen to me." Rachel pleads tugging at his hands. She gets on her knees cupping his face. His eyes are red, and she finds her own eyes beginning to fill with tears as well, "It doesn't matter where we live. We still won't be able to provide for him the way he deserves. He deserves to have the best life imaginable and we can't give him that. He deserves to have his best chance at life, we can love him unconditionally, but that won't be enough."

"But…he's ours." Finn says helplessly. He looks at her so broken and devastated, she tugs him to her engulfing him in a tight hug. His head is resting on her chest, his long arms go around her waist and he squeezes her tightly.

"I know, but as his parents, the best thing we can do for him, is giving him to a family that can give him everything we can't." Rachel whispers, her own voice breaking. She runs her fingers through his hair as she tries to calm her own breathing.

Neither of them says anything, both occupied with their own thoughts. After a while, Rachel's knees begin to hurt and she shifts them into a more comfortable position. She's now leaning against his headboard while Finn pressed up against her, his head resting on her chest, and his hand placed on her stomach.

"I don't want to give him up. "Finn mutters dejectedly.

"Neither do I." Rachel says truthfully.

"But it's the right thing to do." Finn says defeated, his voice soft and broken.

"Doesn't make it hurt any less."

Finn nods against her chest in agreement, as he releases his hold on her. His stubble rubbing against the bare skin of her collarbone, where his t-shirt she's wearing has fallen off her shoulders. He then scoots down, raising the t-shirt to expose her bare stomach, placing a brief kiss on her stomach. "We love you till the moon and back little guy, even if that means we have to let you go."

Rachel shuts her eyes tight as his words. She takes a deep breath as she runs her fingers through his hair, the action soothing her more than him. If they are so attached to the slight swell of her stomach, what are they going to do when there is an actual baby in their arms? A baby they are going to have to give away to someone else?

* * *

**Reviews are love ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**I love getting your feedback for these chapters. All of you seem to want the same thing lol. One person did kind of guess where this fic is going. I won't say who though. Thank You :)**

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The next time Rachel wakes up, there is no one talking to her abdomen, but instead she feels someone's gaze on her. She turns to her right, and sure enough Finn is sprawled out on the bed watching her closely. Her forehead creases as she frowns at him with a huff, before tugging the comforter over her face.

Finn in return only laughs at her, "Good morning to you too, sunshine."

"How is it possible that you're up before me?" Rachel grumbles. She winces when Finn yanks the comforter down so he can see her. At his smiling face she growls, "And in such a good mood? You _hate_ getting up early."

"It's after ten." Finn says dryly.

Rachel simply groans again and tugs the comforter back over her head. Her voice muffle as she speaks, "Wake me up when it's lunch time, then."

"I brought breakfast." Finn says enticingly.

Sure enough, she gets a whiff of scrambled eggs over taking her senses. Finn knows she's been craving eggs for the past few days, always having one for breakfast with either fruit or when she's feeling over indulgent, sausages.

She tugs the comforter down a bit and sure enough there is a tray sitting between them filled with scrambled eggs, pancakes (another craving of hers), with strawberries and a tall glass of orange juice.

"Finn, you didn't have to do this for me." She protests, but she can already feel her stomach grumbling in anticipation of her meal.

"I didn't. Mom made breakfast this morning for all of us. I figured you would have preferred to eat it in here. I did get the fruit and orange juice." He says sheepishly, "Balance diet and all that. I was going to get milk, but Mom said I was going overboard."

Rachel sighs as she sits up allowing Finn to place the tray in front of her, "Is this how it's going to be for the next five months? Any time you do something remotely…well _you_ like, you're going to pull the baby card on me?"

"I have no clue what you're talking about." Finn lies easily. His half smile gives him away though; they are both very aware that this is very much _boyfriend__-like _of Finn. He takes a piece of one of her strawberries popping it into his mouth, "You didn't have dinner last night. You _do_ need to eat."

Rachel narrows her eyes at him, but picks up the fork nonetheless, her hunger winning over her stubbornness. Not that she would let Finn's mother's cooking go to waste, anyway. "Can you go into my suitcase and get my medication for me? It's in my small purple bag."

Finn nods slipping off the bed, it's not until he's walking towards her suitcase, does she realize he's not wearing a shirt. She bites her lips as she watches his back muscles tense as he maneuvers her suitcase so he can open it. She watches as his pajama pants pull as he bends over and she licks her lips in appreciation. She freezes at that reaction, shaking her head free of those thoughts, not knowing where that suddenly came from. She cuts up a piece of her breakfast focusing on that, rather than where her train of thought was currently at, not understanding where that sudden response came from.

"Speaking of doing things remotely..._Rachel-like…_" Finn says as he crawls back onto the bed with her purple bag, completely unaware of Rachel's train of thought,"Your suitcase is here, yet you are wearing _my_ clothes?"

Rachel cheeks redden at his words, "My suitcase was downstairs. I couldn't very well bring it up here and my dress was too uncomfortable to sleep in. Do you what it back? I can change…"

"Don't be stupid." Finn grumbles, holding down the tray so she can't move. He takes out the proper dosage of tablets for her. Finn spent all of four days with her, yet he had memorized her prenatal vitamin dosage already, "Eat."

"Bossy." Rachel mutters, but open out her palm for Finn to place the tablets in them.

Finn just smiles in response, "I'm just saying, you were very insistent about there being a line, and no _us_. Yet, you're doing something very much _us-like_. I won't let just anyone wear my boxers you know."

"I'm currently growing your child. I can borrow an old ratty t-shirt that doesn't fit you anymore." Rachel remarks. She bites her lip, wondering if that comment was premature.

But, Finn just laughs in response, "Who's pulling the baby card now?"

Rachel simply sticks her tongue out at him, causing both of them to burst into giggles, before she goes back to her breakfast.

"My mom almost called your dads, but she figured that, since she hadn't heard from either of them. They probably didn't know about the baby." Finn says.

Rachel sighs in relief at his words, "They don't know I'm in Lima. I spoke to them last week and told them I was thinking of staying in New York to audition for some off Broadway shows. I promised them I'd be back for Father's Day though, next month."

Finn nods, then looks at her suitcase, her very _large_ suitcase then back at her, "This isn't just a short trip home is it?"

Rachel shakes her head, chewing on her toast slowly. She takes a sip of her juice before she speaks, "You were right. My family is in Lima; _you_ are in Lima. It makes more sense if I stay here. I need to speak to my Dads first."

Finn takes her hand squeezing in softly, "It's going to be okay. We have a plan, I'm sure your Dads will agree with us. Your Papa probably has a name of an adoption agency… we can talk to about…you know. I was reading about it this morning…"

"Finn…can we _not_ talk about that now?" Rachel asks softly. At his questioning look she sighs placing her fork back on the plate, "I just want one day. One _morning_, without talking about what we will be doing. One morning, with just us, being us, okay?"

"Us not being us, but still being very us-like?" Finn asks teasingly, clearly understanding her need to just _not_ to talk about the serious stuff for the moment.

Rachel wrinkles her nose at his words, "When you put it like that, it sounds so silly."

"Because, it is _ridiculous_." Finn protests, "The two of us have never been a you and me, we've always seemed to just be an _us_."

"Finn." Rachel says with a slight groan. Why can't they just have a nice breakfast without any of their issues being brought up? "Three weeks ago, you were agreeing with me!"

"That's because three weeks ago, you thought I only wanted to be with you because of the baby. That point is moot now, no?"

Rachel does not miss the accusation in his tone. She glares at him shoving the tray aside, sitting up. "Is this how it's going to be now? You're going to make hurtful comments about how I'm the one giving up our baby? _You_ agreed with me Finn!"

She slips off the bed, grabbing her dress that's hanging over his chair, "I can't believe you would turn around and throw that in my face like that!"

"Rach, I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that!" Finn apologizes, grabbing the dress from her hands, "I shouldn't have used that as an argument for us to get back together. Come back to bed. Finish your breakfast. I'm sorry."

Rachel sighs, her shoulders sagging at his apology. She crawls back into the bed looking at him closely, "You know how hard this decision is for the both of us, please don't throw it in my face like that. Especially, not so you can just make your point."

"I know, I'm sorry. That was stupid." Finn says apologetically, "I won't bring the subject of us, up again. But Rach, I need you to tell me that _we _aren't complete off the table for good."

"Finn." Rachel pleads.

"You don't have to answer now. Think about it for as long as you need." Finn offers, "I meant what I said that night. All the baby dramas and stuff aside, you're it for me."

Rachel bites her lip at his words. She will never understand how he can have such utter and complete faith in them, when she isn't even sure if she can do the right thing for their baby. "You know things with us are never completely over. I meant what _I_ said all those months ago. I want you to be my last love. But, I can't think about us right now. With the baby and…"

"Oh no I understand." Finn says quickly, squeezing her hand, "You gave me the answer I was hoping for. We'll just deal with now, and shelf that for later?"

Rachel nods, smiling at him reassuringly, "Some day in the future."

"Good." Finn smiles brightly at her words. He then picks up a small piece of strawberry, offering it towards her, "You should finish your breakfast."

Rachel narrows her eyes at him, as he presses the fruit to her lips. She's seeing right through his actions. "This isn't you being non Finn-like."

"Shush. I'm simply making sure the mother of my child is eating right." Finn says smirking at her as she bites the fruit. Her body heats up when his fingers just barely graze her lips before he pulls back.

She should have known that he would have never shelved _anything_ for a later date. He just needed her reassurance that there was something to hold on too. Finn Hudson won't rest until he gets her to cave. She knows she _should_ be upset; after all there is just too much going on now, for them to even discuss this. But, despite all this, part of her hates the fact that she's anticipating what he has in mind. Part of her is actually looking forward to it. Her body certainly seems attuned to his actions, as its already tingling in anticipation for what Finn may have planned.

* * *

Finn has Glee Club at four o'clock, so they spend the rest of the morning lounging in his room, either talking or watching movies. He offers to go with her when she has to tell her Dads. But, she declines knowing this is something she has to do on her own.

At 3:40pm she stands outside her front door, fishing out her house keys, breathing in deeply as she sums up the courage to enter her childhood home. Her Papa's car is in the driveway, so she knows that at least one of them is home.

She yanks open the door, tugging her suitcase behind her, "Dad? Papa? Anyone home?"

"Bumble bee is that you?" Her Papa's excited voice calls from the kitchen. Sure enough she hears the sound of hurried footsteps getting louder, "Hiram! Rachel is home!"

She can't help by grin widely when she sees her Papa running into the hallway his 'Kiss the Chef" apron wrapped around his waist. His eyes light up when he sees Rachel at the doorway.

"Bumble Bee!" He yells enthusiastically, as he gathers Rachel in his arms spinning her around.

"Hi Papa." Rachel says warmly, squeezing him tightly just before he places her back on the ground.

"What are doing here? I thought you said you won't be…"

He trails off as his eyes land on her midsection, the look of elation on his face now replaced with that of confusion, "Rachel…"

"Buttercup! You're home!" Hiram says excitedly as he runs down the stairs to greet her. He hugs her warmly but then freezes; he pulls back and looks at her midsection in confusion. He looks down at her, his forehead wrinkling in thought when he puts her hand against her stomach feeling the firmness and swell of her stomach.

Her fathers exchange a look then look back at her, the shock is evident on their faces. Rachel bites her lip, her eye welling up with tears, "I'm sorry."

"Bumble Bee, you have nothing to apologize for." Leroy says engulfing her in a hug, as her other dad ushers all of them.

"Don't placate her Leroy." Hiram says his voice stern, "This is what happens when you shack up with some older boy. I _told_ you, you were jumping into something you couldn't handle. With a boy you don't even _know_. Where is he then? Where is this Brady fella? Let me guess, he left you to do this on his own right?"

"Hiram! That's _enough_!" Her Papa says appalled at her father's attitude. "You're upsetting her more than she already is! Forget the boy, your father and I will help you…."

"No Leroy!" Her Dad says, but at the incredulous look her father sends him, he turns to Rachel, "I'm not talking about you sweetie, of course your father and I are here for you. But that _boy,_ I refuse to let him abandon you. I don't know how they raise them in New York. But boys from Lima are _decent_ human beings and furthermore…"

"Finn's the father!" Rachel practically shouts, before her father can continue on his rant.

"Oh Thank God." Hiram says collapsing onto the couch in relief.

"Hiram!"

"What Leroy? You can't tell me you aren't happy that we won't have to deal with some random dud for the next 18 years. You and I both know that there is a reason why rebound boyfriends are just that _rebound_. We know Finn. We _like _Finn. Maybe not in this very moment, but there are many moments when I don't like Finn. I don't like Finn, when I find him mauling my daughter on the front porch. I don't like Finn when I find him with his hand up my daughter's skirt."

"Hiram!"

"Daddy!"

Both Rachel and her father protest at the same time, Rachel more out of sheer embarrassment while her father is just looking at his husband in exasperation.

"I'm sorry, but buttercup you should really talk to the boy about that. Not that it matters _now_. Anyway, my point is, we like Finn. The more important question is when is the wedding? I really hope this is the last one, Rachel. Three weddings all to the same boy, that's my limit there."

"Hiram, could you not?" Leroy asks, "Can you be serious for two minutes? This is not a joke."

"Who's joking? Weddings are expensive, and we've catered for _two_ already. I'm just saying that…"

"Finn and I aren't getting married!" Rachel exclaims, cutting off her father yet again, "We aren't even together."

She realizes belatedly that was probably not the best thing to say, both of her fathers turn their heads in sync to look at her with matching expressions of disbelief. Her dad takes off his glasses rubbing the bridge of his nose, but it's Leroy who speaks first.

"Rachel, a year ago you were getting ready to spend the rest of your life with Finn. Now, you're having his baby. What happened? Does Finn not want anything to do with the baby?"

"I never liked that boy." Hiram chimes in earning a glare from his husband. Hiram pats Rachel's leg reassuringly, "Don't worry buttercup, we'll set up the guest bedroom for the baby. Your dad and I are the only men in your life you can trust. Forget the others."

"_Daddy_, it's not like that." Rachel says exasperated, "Finn's not…we aren't…Finn and I decided to give the baby up for adoption."

"Oh thank god." Both her fathers say simultaneously.

Rachel freezes at their words as Leroy pats her leg, "You two are making the right choice. You're far too young to be taking care of a baby. You're practically children yourselves. You have your whole life ahead of you, your dreams, a school you fought tooth and nails to get into. You have too much ahead of you, to be tied down by a baby. This is not the kind of life you want, you're much bigger than this."

"What?" Rachel asks in disbelief, "But you _just_ said that you were going to build a nursery for the baby."

"Yes, but that's when we thought you were on your own and Finn didn't want to be involved. You need some kind of support."

"So you were only saying that to placate me? Then what? Wait a few weeks and tell me I _have_ to give the baby up?" Rachel asks incredulously.

"Of course not. We would have simply tried and explained your options for you." Hiram says calmly, "But what _would_ have happened doesn't matter. The point is you and Finn are doing the right thing. Neither of you are ready for this kind of responsibility. There is no way the two of you can handle the expectations of parenthood, and you shouldn't have to. You're still both kids with _so_ many things to experience. It's the same reason why you getting married was a terrible idea as well."

"Hiram." Leroy warns

"I _knew_ it. I _knew_ the two of you never approved of me marrying Finn." Rachel says angrily pointing a finger at them accusingly "That's why you allowed Finn to put me on that train. You didn't stop to think how much that would _break_ me. You were just glad you got your way without having to say anything. So that it was all on _Finn_. Whatever happened to honesty and respect in this family? Or is it only convenient when it benefits the two of _you_."

"Rachel Barbara, there is no need for that tone."

"No Daddy. I'm a grown woman. You can't expect to treat me like a child anymore. _Especially_ when it comes to the future of _my_ child." Rachel stands up abruptly, her hands resting on her stomach as she faces her fathers, trying to keep her anger in check, "Who are you to decide what kind of life _I _want for myself? I am not a _child_. Finn and I are adults; we are more than capable of taking care of a baby. The two of you taught me that family _always_ comes first, no matter what. Well. Finn and this baby _are_ my family and if I wanted to raise this baby with Finn, I will. Finn and I chose to give this baby up, because it's what's best for _the baby_. You may not care about the wellbeing of your grandchild. But this is _my_ child and I care, even if you don't."

"Rachel, that's not what we meant." Hiram calls after her.

"Rachel, where are you going?" Leroy asks hot on her heels.

"I'm going by the only person who actually _cares_ about this baby. The one person who actually takes my thoughts into consideration." Rachel snaps angrily. She grabs her handbag, tugging her car keys off the key rack.

"Rachel, that's not what we meant. Of course we care about your baby." Hiram says, "You're overreacting. Come back, we can have some tea and calmly…"

"I'm not in the mood to listen to you and Papa tell me what I need to do with my life." Rachel replies. She stands at the front door, her hand grasping the door handle. She's about to walk out, but stops to turn to look at her fathers, "For weeks I've been down on myself, constantly doubting my ability to take care of this baby. Wondering if I could even do this; if I could be responsible for another human being. I thought that it was all in my head, I thought you two of all people, would be the ones to set me straight, that you would make me realize it was all in my head. Instead you're just confirming what I already knew. That I'm too much of a child to understand what it's like to take care of one of my own. I'll prove you both wrong."

With those words she storms out of the house, ignoring her fathers' calls.

* * *

Rachel sits in the almost empty car park of McKinley High School. She closes her eyes, leaning against the steering wheel, as she calms down her racing heart. Her phone lies on the passenger seat buzzing periodically. She knows it's her fathers, but she's still _so_ angry with them, she can't talk to them right now.

She takes a deep breath, clearing her head, before she turns off the car. She grabs her jean jacket from the back of the car; slipping it on despite the warm weather Lima is currently experiencing. She then slowly makes her way down the familiar path towards the choir room.

A few minutes later, she's standing outside the choir room, looking through the small window. She's been standing there for more than a minute now, just watching. Finn is standing in front of the room, gesturing as he speaks. She can't hear what he's saying, but whatever it is he has the entire room's attention. She smiles at the sight, he really is in his element. She's never seen Finn looks so confident before, at least not for something that doesn't concern their relationship, but just entirely about him. Her curiosity gets the best of her and she finds herself opening the door, so much for waiting for him outside.

She tugs on her jacket, making sure it's properly covering her and plasters a smile on her face as she knocks, gaining the entire room's attention.

"Rach! What's wrong?" Finn asks concern, stopping his lesson abruptly.

"Finn, you got Rachel to help out with Regionals and you didn't tell us?" Artie asks excitedly as he wheels over to Rachel, "Talk about secret weapon!"

"We definitely have this one in the bag then! I _knew_ you would have called her." Tina says just as enthusiastically as she bounces over to Rachel, engulfing Rachel into a hug. But Rachel pulls away before they can touch. The remaining of her friends surrounding her, they all come to greet her with hugs.

Rachel looks at Finn pleadingly, who immediately catches on. He claps gaining everyone's attention, "Okay guys sit down. For those of you, who haven't met her; this Rachel Berry. She was my co-captain for the past three years."

"Rachel was our secret weapon. Every time she sang a solo, we won." Artie says brightly, causing Rachel to blush at his praise.

"All our competitions were a group effort." Rachel points out.

She sends Finn an uneasy smile, clearly feeling slightly overwhelmed, which is odd given that she loves this kind of attention. But, her slightly swollen belly that is just barely concealed by her jean jacket and semi loose fitted dress has her on edge. She's not ready for everyone to know, especially some who are complete strangers to her.

Finn places his hand on the small of her back, making small circles. The small gesture calming her considerably, "Let's get back to rehearsals. You can show Rachel what we've got so far."

Finn tugs one of the more comfortable chairs, from in the corner, offering it to Rachel, "Do you want me to give them a break so we can talk?"

Rachel shakes her head, "No, it's okay. We can talk after practice."

Finn looks at her closely for a moment, but then nods, squeezing her shoulder reassuringly before turning his focus back onto the club. "Okay guys, let's start with the group number."

Rachel watches in admiration as Finn leads the club through rehearsals. He alters things in the routine, she never considered herself. He switches the vocal runs for some of the singers and he listens as the kids give out ideas, trying all of them. Some suggestions even being used to change up some things. He's completely in his element as he talks to all the kids, never talking down to them but with them, and all the kids are equally enthusiastic to listen and contribute as well.

The kids really respect him, and Rachel just watches on in awe. There are a few times, where she wanted to point out an error or a certain way they were singing the songs, but Finn was two steps ahead of her, not only pointing out the error but correcting it before she could even think of a replacement. She's never been prouder of him. She eyes the shirt and tie he's wearing and she smiles at that, the teacher look suits him as well. Rachel bites her lip when Finn roles up his sleeves and loosens his tie when he joins the kids with one of the routines. His hair is slightly tousled as he shows one of the new guys where to step. He's not dancing, just showing the basic layout, but Rachel can't help but giggle when he does a spin and almost spins into one of the girls.

He's still endearing as ever.

He sends her a sheepish smile when he sees her looking at him. Rachel returns the smile warmly, her cheeks warming up at Finn's small gesture. She shakes her head, now blaming the choir room, for her being reverted back to her schoolgirl self.

He does look ridiculously handsome in his shirt and tie though. But, then he unbuttons the first two buttons of his shirt, and Rachel's entire body suddenly feels like its on fire. She has to grip her dress, to restrain herself from tugging off her jacket. She doesn't understand why her body would have such a strong reaction to Finn doing something as mundane as that. He has on a t-shirt under his shirt for crying out loud. Hell she's seen him in less only a few hours ago.

Rachel shakes her head again, trying to clear her mind. The next time she looks back at the group, her jaw almost drops when she sees Finn now sitting behind the _drums_ showing the band players the rhythm to their original song. His shirt is now untucked and his tie hanging loosely around his shoulders, his brow lined with sweat and he's never looked more attractive than he does right now.

Rachel stands up abruptly, her handbag that was resting on her lap, falls to the floor with a thud. Everyone stops to look at her, Finn looks at her concerned, sliding off the stool. But, before he can make his towards her she looks at the group apologetically, "Sorry, I'm just going to use the bathroom."

With that said she grabs her handbag and makes a beeline for the exit. She makes the familiar route towards the nearest bathroom, heading straight for the sink. She tugs off her jacket and splashes some water on her face, trying to cool down her overheated body. She leans against the sink, breathing deeply, she places her hand against her stomach. Then it hits her why exactly she reacted so strongly to Finn like that.

"Seriously? The insane cravings, body aches and sore breast wasn't enough?" She grumbles to her stomach, "I don't need an insane sexual appetite as well. The entire concept is pointless. I refuse."

"Little guy making you sick again?" Finn asks softly, startling Rachel.

"Finn! What are you doing here?" Rachel asks in surprise, part of her wondering how much of her one sided conversation he heard.

"You left so quickly. I thought you might have been ill." Finn says coming up to her, "I let them leave early."

"Finn, Regionals is on Saturday." Rachel protests, "I'm fine, just a little queasy."

"Yea, I figured. I heard you saying you refused, to throw up I'm assuming?" Finn asks sympathetically, "I thought the nausea stopped since you started your second trimester?"

"It has." Rachel says, "I guess today was just a rough day."

"Things didn't go well with your dads?" Finn asks softly

At his question, the days events come back to her in full force, her argument with her fathers replaying in her head. She leans into him, wrapping her arms around Finn's waist, and burying her fact into his chest. She inhales the musty scent of his cologne, momentarily forgetting why she was upset in the first place.

"Rach?" Finn calls out softly, running his fingers through her hair. Something that normally would soothe her, instead heightens her already aroused state. Finn takes her lack of response as her being upset though, his next words bringing her back to her reason for coming to see him in the first place, "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"Can we drop my car home, and then just go for a long drive?" Rachel asks softly as she pulls back slightly, still remaining his arms.

"Sure. You wanna pick up some dinner one time?" Finn asks. He places a kiss on the top of her head before he releases his hold on her, "We can get Mexican."

"You're enjoying my sudden love for burritos too much." Rachel grumbles halfheartedly.

Finn laughs wholeheartedly in response, "I've yet to see this latest craving. I've only heard about it. Kurt was too much of a chicken to take a picture of you devouring _two_ burritos."

"Kurt is a good friend." Rachel remarks as Finn helps her with her jacket.

They continue to banter back and forth as they leave the bathroom. Their banter helps calm down her overheated libido, considerably. As well as helps her keep her mind off of the fight she had with her fathers.

This latest pregnancy symptom though, is going to pose a serious problem for her. Especially since she and Finn only _just_ laid out the rules that morning.

Rachel looks to her left as Finn talks animatedly about what he wants for dinner. When he sees her looking at him, he sends her that sheepish lopsided grin of his. He clearly mistakes Rachel's look as one of incredulity at the extensive menu he just listed and _not_ that her over active imagination going places it _really_ shouldn't go.

This is not good. This is not good at all.

* * *

**So a little fluff seemed to be in order no? Well kinda**

**Reviews are love :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**As always thank you all for taking the time to review :)**

* * *

"You're being ridiculous." Finn says as he crawls into his bed. He doesn't even flitch at the glare she sends him, "Don't give me that look. You _know_ you're being unreasonable."

"They have been lying to me for _years_." Rachel says dramatically. Well, Finn thinks she's being dramatic, but he knows Rachel really honestly believes what she is saying.

"Really Rachel? _Years_? You haven't exactly been honest with them either." Finn points out. "I still don't get why you're so upset. They _agree_ with us."

"It's the principle of the matter Finn!" Rachel protests, "Don't you find it offending that they think we can't do this?"

"But, isn't that the reason we're giving up the baby?" Finn asks confused.

He loves Rachel, he does, but sometimes she can be exhausting.

"We're giving up the baby because it's what is best for _him_." Rachel says looking at Finn incredulously.

He _knows_ why they are giving up the baby. He's been contemplating their choices for _weeks_ now. It's all he thinks about really. But, from what Rachel has told him, her father's agree with their decision, so he doesn't understand Rachel's refusal to speak to them.

"They are only taking _my_ future into consideration, they don't care about the baby. They only care about how this will affect my future career. I know I've been working towards stardom all my life. I _know_ what I have sacrificed for it. What _we_ have sacrificed for it, but if there was a slight possibility, a slight chance we could keep our baby. I'd give it all up for him."

"You would?" Finn asks in awe.

He knows Rachel loves their baby, he has never doubted that for a second. But, part of him always felt like Rachel was choosing the easy way out, by wanting to give the baby up so that she can continue on the path with her career.

"Of course I would." Rachel says defensively. Finn watches as she places her hand on her stomach protectively, cupping the prominent swell of her stomach. "I was not lying, Finn. I _don't_ want to give him up, but I know that if we keep him, it would just be selfish of us. We can't give him what he needs."

Finn nods, he knows she has a point, but part of him feels like if they can love and care for him, that's all their kid really needs. But, the logical part of him knows it's more than that and Rachel makes a valid point. He does want what is best for their kid first and foremost.

"I'm sure that is how your Dads feel as well." Finn points out. Venturing into the topic of her fathers yet again, hoping to convince her to talk to them.

"No, they think I'm a child and that I can't handle adult responsibility." Rachel says angrily, "Giving up our baby is going to be the most difficult and most responsible thing I've ever done. I'm not a child anymore, I'm taking responsibility for _my_ child."

Finn sighs, as she turns around to grab a jar of cocoa butter cream from the bedside table, clearly signaling the conversation is over. This is usually how their conversations have been going for the past three days. He will try to bring up her fathers, try to make her see reason, but she goes back to them treating her like a child and then the conversation ends. At least today she has reasons for her silent treatment, before she would just exclaim dramatically that they liars and other such things. He finally _gets_ why she's upset, but that said she can't just ignore them forever.

He doesn't push it anymore though, he learned his lesson the first time when she got angry at him and ended up bunking in Kurt's bed the night before. Tonight, she has no where else to go, Kurt came home for the week and he brought Adam, so the only place Rachel has to stay is in Finn's bed. He wouldn't put it past her to kick him out of his own bed, so he won't take the chance to anger her. An angry Rachel is a scary Rachel, but he has learned to deal with that in stride over the years. But, a pregnant angry Rachel? She just terrifies him, he never knows if she's going to throw something at him or burst into tears and truthfully he's not sure which is worse.

So, he drops the conversation for the time being. His mother has arranged for the family, including Rachel's Dads to have dinner with them tomorrow night after Regionals. She says it will be a victory dinner, but Finn is too nervous about Regionals to even hope for a win. The dinner may be under the pretense of a celebration of New Directions hopeful win, but Finn knows it's more about him and Rachel and their families finally coming together to discuss this. Rachel has no idea that her Dads will be joining them.

He watches as Rachel tugs up her t-shirt, baring her stomach, he's amazed at how much it has grown since the last time he saw her. There is an actual bump there now. Finn grins rolling towards her pressing his face to her swollen stomach, as she busies herself with her jar of cream.

"I hope you don't get your mother's stubbornness." He stage whispers, knowing fully well that Rachel will hear him.

"Finn!" Rachel says appalled lightly shoving him away from her stomach, "Don't corrupt him!"

Finn laughs wholeheartedly at her dramatics. He slips off the bed heading to the window opening it all the way. He looks across at Rachel is currently rubbing the cream on her stomach, but she freezes when she notices the open window, "What are you doing? I thought we were keeping the room cool?"

"Yes, but that cream smells like shit." Finn says easily as he crawls back into bed, "I'll close it back a little later. I don't want it stinking up the room."

"This cream is what I use for stretch marks. I'm way too young to have stretch marks." Rachel says pointedly as she sits up to rub the cream along her sides.

"You are only now starting to really show, and your skin is flawless." Finn says in exasperation. He rolls towards her but then blanches when the smell hits his nostrils.

"Exactly my point. I'm using it to prevent stretch marks from even forming. All the books say over the next few weeks I'm going to be grow at a crazy rate." Rachel says as she continues to rub her stomach.

She continues to go on about the merits of cocoa butter verses olive oil. Finn has heard this more times than he can count, so he simply tunes her out, nodding when appropriate. He grabs the hem of his t-shirt tugging it off. He throws it onto his chair, but frowns when Rachel stops talking.

"What are you doing?" She stutters slightly.

"It's warm." Finn says looking at her curiously.

She quickly caps the container of cream and places it back on the bedside table. Finn doesn't bother to point out that she only rubbed the cream on one side of her chest, not wanting to look like a perv watching her rub the cream on her chest. He watches as she quickly slips out of bed, padding over to the window and closing it shut. He looks on in amusement as she grabs his t-shirt handing it back to him, refusing to make eye contact with him.

"You should put this back on. You know how cold your room gets."

Finn holds onto the t-shirt, not bothering to point out that he can simply turn up the heat in the room. For the past few days, Rachel has been acting really skittish around him. At first he thought she was upset with him or something, but he's slowly beginning to realize it's not that at all. He and Rachel were together for just about a two years, he knows _exactly_ what a turned on Rachel looks like and that's exactly what she has been for the past few days. Right now, Rachel keeps glancing at him at the corner of her eye, but keeps her head trained on her iPad. Finn bites his lip to hold back a smile as he throws the t-shirt at the end of the bed and lying back, sure enough Rachel glances become more frequent and she begins to shift on the bed. All of it is a telltale sign. At first he thought she was just being weird. But, now as he watches her slowly take in his shirtless state, gazing at him much longer than normal, as well as try to do all this inconspicuously. He is finally understanding her odd behavior for the last three days.

He's read the books, he knows they said once the second trimester hits her hormones will level out and she would be back to normal moods, (Utter lies, she can still go from normal to bat shit insane at the drop of a hat. Case in point her fathers) and also that she will get back her sexual drive. Finn just assumed that meant she wouldn't be like she's on her period permanently, and that if the situation came up she'd want to have sex. But, its clear from her subtle actions and just the way she has been looking at him lately that sex seems to be on her mind _all_ the time. If Finn was a lesser man, he would use her obvious infatuation with him to his advantage cause a pregnant Rachel is _hot_. But he knows it's the pregnancy making her kinda crazy, so he just enjoys the attention she is giving him, even if he does some things just to get a reaction from her.

Also, part of him doesn't want the reason he and Rachel get back together, or even hook up, to be because of Rachel crazy pregnancy hormones. When they get together again, he wants it because they both want to be together.

"Aren't you going to put that on?" She asks suddenly, turning to face him, her eyes roam over his torso ever so briefly before she looks him in the eye, "You could catch a cold and if you do, we can't have any contact."

When she starts rambling about all the various birth defects than can happen if she catches the flu, Finn quickly grabs the t-shirt pulling it over his head, "Okay, I get it. No three headed baby for us."

"Finn!" Rachel says scandalized slapping him on the chest, "Don't even joke about that."

"Rachel, our baby is going to be gorgeous. She has you for a mom." Finn says truthfully.

He smiles when Rachel just rolls her eyes at his complement, but his smile widens when he sees the barest hint of a blush that graces her cheeks.

"She?" Rachel asks curiously. She scoots down the bed so her head is now resting on the pillow as she begins to rub her stomach.

"Yea, I was thinking. What if we are wrong and the baby is a girl? Then we would have been calling her, _him_, all this time. Now _that_ can give the kid a complex." Finn jokes.

"You're right. We should really alternate it from time to time." Rachel says seriously.

Finn holds back a laugh, knowing she won't appreciate it. Instead he simply leans forward pressing a kiss to Rachel's t-shirt covered stomach, "Good night baby girl."

He pulls back, and instead of over thinking it, he presses a kiss on Rachel's forehead, " 'Night Rach."

"Good night." Rachel says softly.

Finn doesn't look at her expression, instead he rolls back onto his side of the bed, afraid to see her reaction to his gesture.

* * *

"Rach? Are you ready to go?" Finn asks as he pokes his head into his room.

He frowns when he sees Rachel lying on her back in the middle of his bed. She is dressed in one of his t-shirts, her arm thrown over her face.

"I'm not going." Rachel bemoans, she turns her head to look at him, "Nothing fits me anymore!"

It's not till she said that, did Finn realize his room now looks as if a department store blew up in it. Rachel's pink suitcase (he was forced to get it two days ago because she refused to go home) is lying open on the floor, but most of her clothes are strung over almost every surface of his room.

"I'm sure that's not true." Finn says calmly. He grabs her hand, tugging her into a sitting position, "Didn't you and Santana go shopping a few weeks ago?"

"Yes, and I bought some nice _shorts_ and dresses. I can't wear short pants to Regionals Finn." Rachel says with a huff, "None of the semi-formal dresses fit me anymore either! My boobs grew _again_!"

To Finn's utter shock, Rachel suddenly raises the t-shirt well above her breasts _showing_ them to him. It's then Finn notices that she does not have on shorts. Clearly she is trying to kill him.

"Do they look bigger? I thought they couldn't _get_ bigger!" Rachel bemoans as she cups her breasts.

"Rachel, you're killing me here." Finn says with a slight groan, looking anyway but her round chest.

"What?" Rachel asks genuinely confused. She thankfully drops the t-shirt, so Finn is able to focus on what she is saying rather than her body, "You've seen my boobs before Finn."

"Do you really think that just because we aren't together, I _won't_ have a reaction to your body, to you?" Finn asks incredulously, "Rachel, you will always be beautiful to me."

"But not sexy." Rachel points out softly. She sits on the edge of the bed playing with the hem of the t-shirt, "My body is changing now and I know it's not very attractive…"

"Rachel, you're currently carrying my child. To me that's the sexiest thing ever." Finn says truthfully. When he sees the slightly spark in her eyes slowly returning, he continues, "Do you know how hard these past few days have been for me? To share a bed with you, knowing I can't touch you like I want to? Hold you like I want to? Just be with you? I know we said we aren't discussing us now. We both agreed things are a bit crazy at the moment for us to broach the subject of us, _especially_ since we haven't really talked about the break up or any of the reasons for it in the first place. The baby doesn't change that; I know that. But it doesn't make it any easier. There are so many days when I just want to kiss you, but I know I can't. I will always find you incredibly sexy, Rachel. Always."

After his speech, Finn ducks his head, his face heating up, he never planned on saying all of that to her. He just hates when Rachel is so down on herself. He knows it's expected, with the way her body is changing after all, but he hates when she talks down on herself like that.

He looks across at her, she's sitting on the bed, her cheeks slightly pink. She looks up at him through her eyelashes, "I think about it too you know. There are moments where I just want to… I just want to kiss you and never stop. I know we can't, things are way to complicated right now to add this into the mix. But those moments, those moments when I can't remember why we have those lines, those moments are when I just want to…I just…"

She's standing now, looking up at him as she bites her lip. He takes a step towards her, their bodies just inches apart, "You want to say, fuck it at all. Just kiss me senseless?"

Rachel hums softly as she nods her head in agreement, never breaking eye contact with him, "I want to do more than just kiss you."

Finn gulps at her words, not expecting her to be that forward. He's just about to break all their rules, when his bedroom door slams open startling them both out of their trance.

"What are the two of you doing?" Kurt asks in exasperation, "Don't the two of you normally wait till_ after_ the win to celebrate? Get dressed Rachel, we're going to be late."

With that said, he walks out closing the door behind him, not even waiting for a response. Finn looks back at Rachel, who licks her lips yet again, driving him crazy as she takes a step back, "I…uh…I still don't have anything that fits me."

Finn scans the room, until he sees her purple flowered dress at the head of the bed, he quickly walks over to it holding it up to her, "What about this one?"

Rachel frowns, "It's a Sunday dress."

"I know its not Sunday, but…"

"No Finn, that's the style of dress." Rachel says with a giggle, "Besides, its too casual."

"Well, it matches with the outfits." Finn offers. He then looks down at his purple tie, "And my tie? You'll look great Rach, no one would care that it's too casual. It's only Regionals."

He says that casually, but they both know how nervous he is about this competition. After everything that happened at Sectionals, not only does he want to win for the team, but he needs to prove to himself that he didn't fail the kids, "Rach, I need you there with me."

"Okay."

She smiles at him shyly as she takes the dress from him. She unties the bow at the back of the dress, and unzips it. When she hands him back the dress, he looks at her confused, "Can you help me with it?"

He finds himself nodding along, despite the fact that he's unsure if she actually needs help, or just wants him too. His mind goes blank, when she tugs off his t-shirt that she is wearing, and she's now standing in just her black and white striped bra, with matching panties. Now that he knows she's giving him full permission to look, without the pretense of freak outs, that is. He takes his time to fully appreciate her changing body, all the new curves that are forming and how much fuller her breasts are in her new bra and the way her panties just barely cover her ass. Her pregnant belly is more obvious now with the lack of clothes and Finn doesn't get it but that just makes her even more appealing to him.

"Finn." Rachel calls out, pulling him away from his thoughts.

Finn licks his lips, looking at her apologetically, "Sorry."

"It's okay." Rachel says softly, and she licks her own lips as she looks at his," You are the only one that makes me feel like I'm the most desirable person in the world."

"You're all I want." Finn says truthfully. He then holds up the dress to her, "C'mon we don't want Kurt calling us again."

Rachel giggles at that, as she raises her arms and allows him to slip the dress over her head, "I'm pretty sure the next time he calls, will be to tell us to take my car."

Finn laughs at that as he tugs the dress down. Rachel shifts the dress a bit until everything is in place and then turns her back to him so he can zip her up. Once he's done she turns back to face him, smiling at him shyly, "How do I look?"

Finn takes a step back, taking her in from head to toe, the dress has a high cut so it's just below her breasts, the dress flares out from above her stomach. Because of the high cut she no longer looks like she's just put on a few pounds. She looks very much pregnant in this dress, "You look gorgeous."

Rachel blushes at his complement and looks down at her dress, smoothing it out against her stomach, "I look pregnant."

"You do." Finn says in agreement, knowing it makes no sense lying to her about this, "Are you okay with this?"

Rachel bites her lip in apprehension but nods her head, "Yes, I'm not ashamed of our baby and I'm going to Regionals to support you, no matter what."

Finn smiles at her words, he rubs her stomach affectionately, "Well, c'mon then baby mama."

"Don't ever call me that again."

* * *

Finn stands on the side of the stage, playing with his tie nervously as he watches their competition perform. The Hoosierdaddies are good, _really_ good. They have this powerhouse little thing that is blowing everyone away. It makes Finn's more nervous than he should be. He tries to pretend it doesn't affect him, in hopes to not make the kids nervous, but he doesn't think he's doing a very good job.

"It's going to be okay." Rachel says soothingly. He doesn't know where she came from, he thought she was sitting in the crowd with Kurt and Adam.

She places her hand on his back, rubbing small circles, easing the tension out of his body, "You worked with these kids. I've seen the performances; they are good. You have nothing to worry about, just have faith in these kids. C'mon lets go back to the choir room, you still have your pep talk to give."

Finn smiles at her words, throwing his arm over her shoulder and pulling her towards him, "Are you joining us for our preshow huddle?"

"Of course." Rachel says with a smile as she looks up at him, "It won't truly be a show choir competition if we don't have the huddles."

Finn laughs as he ushers them back to the choir room. Rachel clings to him a bit tighter as they walk into the choir room. People's reactions to her pregnancy have been somewhat off-putting, neither of them expected to get congratulatory praises. But for the most part some have been nice about it, others not so much. No one has been out right mean to either of them, but he can see the looks they throw Rachel. He wanted to say something a few times, but Rachel took care of it. She told nosy Mrs. Peterson from down the street that it's not polite to stare. She then told the little old lady that has a granddaughter in the band group that plays for them, if she continues to look at Rachel like that, her face may get stuck that way. Clearly living with Santana has rubbed off on Rachel. He and Rachel have enough things to worry about, than what people think about them anyway.

"Okay, I know you guys are nervous. People think we are here only on a technicality, but we have to show them that we deserve this. We earned this. We have to show them what two time Regionals champions look like right?"

His speech is short and sweet but to the point. He's not very good at it, but got his message across, he thinks the kids are too nervous to notice anyway.

"You did good." Rachel says softly as they make their way to the auditorium behind the kids, "Those kids look up to you Finn."

"I guess." He says sheepishly at her praise.

"No, you did something amazing this year." Rachel says softly, "You brought that group together. You got them to come back and still have hope after Sectionals. You did really good Finn. You're their teacher."

"I didn't think I could do it." Finn admits. "Artie had to practically force me to help with the Grease thing. "

They are now standing on the side of the stage watching as the third group performs their last song. Finn grabs a nearby chair, offering it to Rachel.

"You're always so hard on yourself." Rachel points out. She grabs his hand squeezing it tightly, "I always hoped that one day you'll see yourself they way that I do. That, you are capable of some much more than you give yourself credit for. You made all of this happen Finn. Be proud of yourself for that, I know I am."

"I hardly…"

"No, don't belittle your roll in this." Rachel says firmly, "If you hadn't convinced everyone to come back despite your Sectionals lost, Sam and Blaine may have never done any investigating into the Warblers. You got things back on track, you got them to believe in themselves. You have a gift Finn, you have this ability to help people see things in themselves they never saw before. I only hope you start seeing the same in yourself."

"I really enjoy teaching these kids, and helping them." Finn confesses, "Teaching is what I want to do."

"And you will." Rachel says with conviction, "You can start school in the fall. I'm going to be in Lima till the end of the year anyway. You won't have to worry about not being there for the baby."

"You're not going back to New York?" Finn asks incredulously. He knows that's the most practically thing, she can't exactly start school in fall, but he always assumed she would go back to New York after a few weeks in Lima.

"We'll talk about it tonight." Rachel promises, "The kids are going on now."

Finn frowns but he has no choice but to put the conversation on hold as the music starts to play.

New Directions places first in the competition. Finn stands on stage accepting the trophy from the judges. His entire body is numb. He raises the trophy in the air and the entire auditorium cheers.

This is different than all their other wins, this time he did not contribute to the competition itself, but more to the shaping of the group. He's proud of the kids more than anything. He looks across the stage to see Rachel standing on the other side clapping enthusiastically and waving at him.

He sends her a thumbs up. Her cheering him on is the best feeling in the world.

"Congratulations!" Rachel says enthusiastically. She launches herself at him once he steps off the stage, "I'm so proud of you."

Finn laughs, "Thanks Rach."

"We need to celebrate." Rachel insists.

They just left the choir room, Finn leaving the club to celebrate on their own. He may only be a year or so older than most of the kids in the club, but he's still their teacher and it feels weird for him to be celebrating with them. Besides, he has other things to deal with at the moment. Like telling Rachel her fathers will be joining them for dinner. He is not looking forward to that conversation at all.

Rachel loops her arm through his placing her head on his arm, "We can go to Breadstix like old times."

"Actually…"

"Finn! There you guys are." Kurt calls out running up to them, Adam right behind him, "Carole called, she said she tried calling you. Rachel dads are on their way."

"What?" Rachel asks releasing her hold on Finn's arm, folding her arms across her chest. "What did you do Finn Hudson?"

"We'll wait for you by the car." Kurt mutters to Finn, grabbing Adam's hand and running off. Finn scowls after his brother, Kurt gets to no doubt make out with his boyfriend as they wait, while Finn has to deal with Rachel.

"My mom wanted us to have dinner to celebrate Regionals, win or lose and she thought it would be a good idea to invite them, so we can all talk." Finn says cautiously. Rachel doesn't need to know it was his idea to invite her dads.

Rachel scowls, her eyes narrowing. She'd look intimidating if she didn't look so cute in all her pregnant glory, not like Finn would ever tell her that, "This is _our_ decision Finn. Not my parents, and neither yours."

"I know, but you also know they need to know what we planning to do. We can't afford doctors appointments or anything else, it's your dads money that has been paying for your past prenatal checkups. Be reasonable, Rach."

"I'm still mad at them." Rachel says stubbornly, finally relenting as Finn ushers her out of the school.

"I know."

"And I'm mad at you for not informing me of this, and making this decision without me."

"Okay."

She stays quiet after that. Finn likes to think that he has a better handle on Rachel's mood swings now, than before. But ever so often she will throw him a curve ball that he was not expecting. He just hopes that tonight won't be the case.

* * *

**Reviews are love :)**


	9. Chapter 9

Finn looks across the table at Adam and feels sorry for the dude. This is like the worst meet the family dinner ever. His mother and Rachel's Dad Leroy are currently talking about some recipe or the other that they have tried. Rachel's other dad, Hiram, keeps looking at him and Rachel, but Rachel has yet to say anything, other than politely thank his mother for the meal. But, he knows Rachel's family and someone is going to blow sooner rather than later and its not going to be pretty.

"Rachel are you going to continue pouting at your food and behaving like a child? Or are you going to actual speak to your father and I?" Hiram asks, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

Finn eyes widen, he should have known Mr. Berry would not have beaten around the bush. Suddenly, there is the scraping of the chair as Kurt gets to his feet, "Adam and I are going to….we're just going to go. Carole the dinner was amazing. Mr and Mr. Berry nice to see you again."

With that said, Kurt grabs his plate, as well as Adam's hand yanking the boy out of the room, before the latter could even finish his meal. Finn wishes he could do the same.

"I want you and Papa to stop treating me like a child." Rachel says firmly, "I'm a grown woman, I can make my own decisions."

"Rachel, you have to cut us some slack here." Leroy says patiently, shooting his husband a stern look, "You _just_ told us you were pregnant and by the looks of things you are at least four months pregnant. The last time we spoke to you, you were talking about finals and auditions. Then you come home with this news and tell us the father is your ex-boyfriend. An ex-boyfriend we knew for a fact was living in Lima."

"I still don't understand this." Burt chimes in, ignoring the glare that Carole sends him, "The last I heard Rachel was shacking up with some guy from NYADA."

"Burt!" Carole says appalled.

"I don't like what you're insinuating about my daughter, Mr. Hummel." Hiram says his voice like steal. "We raised Rachel to be an honest young woman. If she did not know who the father was, she would have _never_ strung Finn along like this. She would never use Finn like that."

Finn bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from responding. He hates that Burt even brought this up. He's had this conversation with his mother and Burt numerous times. He looks across at Rachel to see that she is almost on the verge of tears, he grabs her hands squeezing it tightly, hoping to convey how he feels through his touch. He doesn't doubt her for a second; she knows that. She would not lie about something like this.

"I never slept with Brody." Rachel says, her voice calm and firm. She looks at Burt, and then at his mom never breaking eye contact as she speaks, "I love Finn and I would _never_ lie to him about something like this. You don't have to like me Mr. Hummel but please respect the fact that I would _never_ intentionally hurt Finn, especially not over something as serious as his involvement in this pregnancy."

"Rach, you don't have to explain anything to them." Finn chimes in, glaring at his stepfather, "I trust you and that's all that matters. Can we please move on from this? It is not an issue."

"Finn is right." Carole nods in agreement, "We were all a family long before Finn and Rachel got pregnant. Even after they broke up, Rachel is Kurt's best friend, she has always been like daughter to me and Burt. I know for the fact the two of you still see my son as your own."

Finn pinks up at his mother's words, even more so when the Berrys nod their heads in agreement. He always thought they resented him for breaking their daughter's heart. If not, he thought after he knocked her up and essentially changed her life forever that they would want to kill him.

"You're right Carole, we have to all come together and decide what's next." Leroy says seriously, but at the look Rachel gives him, he quickly back tracks, "You and Finn, obviously being the ones to make the final decision here."

"Are the two of you 100% sure adoption is what you want to do?" Carole asks them softly.

Finn feels Rachel's hand slip into his and she squeezes it tightly as she speaks, "We're sure. We want what's best for the baby."

"I spoke to a colleague of mine." Hiram chimes in, "He's involved in finalizing adoptions and works along with the local adoption agency. Do you know what type of adoption you are looking at?"

"I want an open adoption." Rachel says immediately.

Finn nods in agreement, he and Rachel may not have discussed this, but he's read up on adoption procedures and he totally agrees with her.

"Rachel, are you sure about this?" his mother asks in concern, "You understand what this entails right? The both of you realize if you go with an open adoption, although you will get to see the baby, you aren't going to be responsible for him or her. Are you ready to watch two strangers take care of your child?"

Finn freezes at his mother's words, he never thought of it like that. Is he ready to see that? See other people caring and loving his and Rachel's son or daughter, they way they were supposed to?

"I never got to know my birth mother." Rachel says, her voice breaking, "I wondered for years about her, what she was like and who she was. I had to go looking for her, my own mother didn't even know who I was the first time we saw each other. I won't do that to my child. I want her to know who I am, who we are."

"Rachel, Shelby was our surrogate, it was a totally different circumstance." Leroy points out, "We've been through this."

"We could have pressed charges for what she did. She signed a legal contract; she had no right to contact you like that. But we didn't because you asked as us to, despite the fact that she broke your heart on numerous occasions." Hiram chimes in

"You and Daddy know I did not seek Shelby out to hurt the two of you. I just wanted to know where I came from. I don't want our son or daughter growing up thinking Finn and I abandoned her."

"We need her to understand we did what's best for her." Finn says. He squeezes Rachel's hand in his own as he continues, "Just because we are giving her up doesn't mean we automatically stop caring about her. We want to know what happens with her. We want to see that we made the right decision."

"Sweetie, I admire you and Rachel so much for what you are doing." His mom starts, "But have the two of you really thought about what it would be like to watch two complete strangers raise your baby? You will have no say in how they choose to raise the baby. Once you sign those papers you, you give up all your rights. If you watch this baby grow up, get to know this baby and fall in love with him or her; there is no take backs. Once you sign those papers; that's it. He or she will no longer be yours."

Finn feels Rachel go rigid next to him, and he knows his mother's words have hit her hard, without having to look at her. Finn himself feels like he has been punched in the stomach. He and Rachel know very well what this entails, but hearing his mother lay them out so plainly to them, that nagging feeling in the back of Finn's mind is resurfacing again. That feeling that they are doing the wrong thing.

"Carole, we're suppose to be helping them with this decision, not putting doubt in their heads." Burt says calmly.

Finn narrows his eyes at his step-fathers words, watching as Rachel's fathers nod in agreement. Finn is beginning to suspect their parents met before this dinner, and he won't be surprised if Rachel's fathers knew about the pregnancy before she told them either.

"No." His mother says firmly, "I held my tongue last time. When the three of you made your plans to try and stop their wedding. I told the three of you _talking_ to them is the only way to get through to them. I won't sit back and do this again. We're talking about a _child_'s life here. Our _grandchild's_ life and I refuse to encourage them to make this decision, without both of them knowing _everything_ it entails. They aren't kids anymore; we've known that since they decided to get married all those months ago. This is bigger than that; this is bigger than all of you trying to dictate how they run their lives. We all agreed that we will wait for them to make the decision. Well they did, and just because it's the decision we hoped for, does not mean we ignore everything else and push on through with this. Finn and Rachel are capable of raising this baby, but if they decide that they aren't going to. I want them to be well informed about this decision, because if they doubt for a second they are making the wrong decision, they will regret this for the rest of their lives. This will haunt them _forever_ and I refuse to play a hand at that."

With those words his mother stands up with her plate and walks out of the room. Finn sits there floored at what just happened, Burt and Rachel's fathers at least have the decency to look guilty. Burt stands up and quickly follows Finn's mother. Finn doesn't even know where to begin, he doesn't even know if he wants to speak to any of them at the moment. Right now he just wants to go to his mother and thank her. But, he has Rachel's hand in his own and he won't leave her here to deal with her parents.

"You knew." Rachel says her voice eerily calm and void of any emotion, "All this time, you knew I was pregnant. Yet you decided to _manipulate_ me into giving my baby away. Just like you _knew_ that Finn was going to put me on that train all those months ago and break my heart. You went along with it, because at the end of the day you got your way. It didn't matter than I was heartbroken and alone, it didn't matter than the love of my life was lost and confused and I didn't even _know_. I couldn't even be there for him! If you had just told me things could have been different! But no, your own selfish needs outweighed my own feelings."

"Rach." Finn says softly, his own heartbreaking as Rachel's voice breaks. He goes to grab her hand, but she yanks it away from him. When she turns to look at him, tears are streaming down her face, "I was so mad at you. Mad that you would leave me like that, that you didn't even think about how your decision would affect me. But, I'm even angrier that you wouldn't even allow me to help you. I would have helped you, Finn. I could have helped you."

"Not the expense of your dreams, Rachel." Finn says. He would never regret his decision to put her on that train, no matter how angry she gets at him for it, "You worked too hard for that. I couldn't let you do that. You know I needed to find myself on my own."

"I deserved to make that decision on my own." Rachel counters, "I'm not upset anymore. I just think things could have been different if we just got to discuss it. We could have figured something out."

Finn sighs, taking her hand in his, neither of them acknowledging her parents, "I know, but at the time it was the only thing I could think of. You would not have seen it like you do now."

"That's true." Rachel says softly in agreement.

"Buttercup?" Rachel's dad calls out cautiously. Finn can see the remorse on both her fathers' expressions. He thinks they are finally understanding where Rachel is coming from, but part of him is still so mad at them and Burt for thinking they could manipulate him and Rachel like this, over something as serious as this.

"I'm staying with Finn, for the mean time." Rachel says, "I'm still so mad at the two of you, and I just need some space. Finn and I will come to your office next week, so we can talk about the adoption. I may be angry with you, but I also know you are the best person to help us with this. I can't talk to you right now."

With that said she gets up and walks out of the room, once she is out of ear shot, Finn turns to her fathers, "I'll try and convince her to go home."

"It's okay." Leroy says, "We know that you will take care of her. When she's ready she'll talk to us. We're sorry Finn, I hope you and Rachel know that we do love our grandchild despite our actions."

"Rachel is your daughter, you were putting her needs first." Finn says simply, "That's exactly what Rachel and I are doing for our own child. I can't be mad at you for doing the same thing we are."

"You've grown into a fine young man Finn." Hiram says, surprising Finn to say the least, "I know you and Rachel aren't together anymore, but my husband and I want you to know that whenever you decide to do it, you do have our blessing to marry our daughter."

Both he and his husband leave the table after that. Finn is left alone with his thoughts. He thinks about that small black box he found in the back of Rachel's chest of drawers in her apartment. Finn shakes his head hoping to clear his mind of those dangerous thoughts. He and Rachel aren't even together, he'd be stupid to even think proposing again would be the solution to their problems.

* * *

After the dinner from hell (as Kurt oh so affectionately calls it) things have calmed down somewhat. Rachel seems to have permanently moved into Finn's room, her suitcase is now empty and packed away in his closet, all of her clothes are neatly packed in his chest of drawers.

They have gone from no contact for months, to suddenly sharing a bed. It's almost surreal for Finn, to come home, after working in the garage for the day, to Rachel lounging on his bed, or helping his mother cook dinner. His bathroom is littered with all her girly products and always smells nice.

Sometimes, he would pretend that this is how things will be for the rest of his life. That they are waiting for the birth of their baby, getting ready to start a family. But then he'll see the adoption forms on his dresser and he's brought back to the harsh reality that is their lives.

Things with the adoption are at a stand still. He and Rachel have started the process; spoken to someone from the agency and filled out whatever information they needed, with the help of Rachel's Dad Leroy. Now, all that is left for them to do is pick a family. They have numerous files sitting on the top of Finn's desk in his room and neither of them has looked at it, the envelope remaining sealed, untouched.

Finn sighs deeply as he looks at his watch for the fifth time, "What's taking so long?"

"Finn, these things take time. If you are unwilling to wait, I suggest you take yourself for a walk, buy an ice cream or something." Kurt snaps back from inside the changing room.

Finn huffs sinking into the couch as the sales clerk eyes him in sympathy. It's been a week since the dinner and Rachel has all but outgrown every one of her outfits. She was a little hesitant about buying maternity clothes, but once Finn convinced Kurt to tag along, she warmed up to the idea.

He picks up his phone, going back to his game of Candy Crush, knowing this will take awhile. Kurt is too picky for his own good, and Rachel is so fussy about her clothes now, Finn knows he will be sitting in the store for ages.

"Oh _my god_!" Rachel exclaims loudly.

Finn looks up in alarm, even more so when Kurt calls out to him almost frantic. Finn shoots out of his seat grabbing the handle to the changing room and yanking it open. Rachel is standing in just a pick frilly top, her hands resting on her protruding stomach her eyes wide.

"What? What's wrong? Is the baby okay? Are you okay?" Finn asks frantically as he goes up to her, "Rachel?"

"I…I felt him move!" Rachel says her voice full of awe, her eyes welling up with tears.

Finn breathes a sigh of relief, placing his hand on her stomach, "Would I be able to feel it? What does it feel like?"

Rachel giggles through her tears, linking their fingers as she moves their hands, "I think it's too soon for you to feel it. It's like butterflies, millions of butterflies flying around."

"Are you sure its not gas? You've gotten very gassy since you gotten pregnant." Kurt says pointedly.

"Kurt!" Rachel groans, "Could you not? And I'm sure its not gas, it feels like a fish swimming? It's so strange."

"Good strange?" Finn asks, pressing his hand on her stomach, wishing he could feel their baby move.

"It's amazing." Rachel says in awe, giggling again.

"Okay, Finn time for you to leave. The baby is not going to stop moving now, but we still have a lot more clothes to get."

"I think I have enough things." Rachel says, smiling when she rubs her stomach. It's clear she doesn't care about anything else but feeling the baby move around.

"Rachel we got like one pair of jeans and three tops, you need a few more things as well as underwear." Kurt says in exasperation. He looks at Finn pointedly, "You can leave now."

"Kurt, I don't need any more underwear, I went last week to get a bra and the woman offered me bras for breastfeeding. I really don't feel like breaking down in a lingerie store again."

Finn frowns at her words, wrapping an arm across her shoulder, pulling her to his side. He sends Kurt a glare, who sighs in response, "Okay, well how about we get some dresses? A swim suit?"

"Kurt I'm not going out in a swim suit!" Rachel exclaims in alarm, she gestures at her stomach, "Have you not seen my stomach?"

"You'd look hot Rach." Finn chimes in, he just grins sheepishly when Rachel sends him an exasperated look, but he can see the barest hint of a smile when she looks away, "We can just go to your pool, we don't have to go in public."

"Okay, you did your job, you cheered her up, go away now." Kurt says, shooing Finn out of the dressing room.

"Wait," Rachel says grabbing Finn's arm before Kurt can shove him out of the tiny room. She looks at Finn, smiling shyly "Do you feel like having a cookie dough blizzard from Dairy Queen?"

"I'm actually feeling for a smoothie," Finn says teasingly. He laughs when Rachel pouts at him, "A small or medium?"

Rachel bites her lip in thought, Finn then laughs again, "A large?"

"We can share it." Rachel offers sheepishly.

"We won't, but its okay." Finn teases. He places a brief kiss on her forehead, "I'll be back."

"Thanks Finn."

* * *

Finn walks into his room, but stops short at the sight in front of him. Rachel is lying across their bed dressed in a sports bra and shorts currently trying to balance her phone on her stomach. He knows Rachel as been going a bit stir crazy in the house, but this is new. Lima has been experiencing a hotter than normal summer and Rachel has been known to lounge around in a bathing suit in their room, when it gets really bad and the AC has no effect on her. Her utter lack of modesty and almost lack of clothing; drives Finn as crazy as she has been lately.

"New game?" Finn asks in amusement as he walks up to the bed.

"Finn!" Rachel says in surprise, the phone slipping off her stomach and landing on the bed, "No, I was waiting for you. I thought we could go for a run."

"I'm actually kind of hungry. You wanna go for an early dinner?" Finn asks curiously, knowing that Rachel is always up for meal

"But that means I have to put on clothes." Rachel all but whines, "It is so _hot_ Finn. I feel like I'm _dying_. Why is it so hot?"

"It's summer." Finn points out in amusement. He starts unbuttoning his shirt, tugging it out of his pants. He gasps in surprise when Rachel slaps his hand, stopping him. "What the hell Rachel?"

"Change in the bathroom." Rachel demands.

"What for?" Finn complains. He spent all day in the tire shop; he even took a shower there, because the oil smell makes Rachel nauseous. Seeing that Rachel doesn't want to leave the house to get dinner, he really just wants to relax, "I'm just taking off my shirt."

"No, you can't do that." Rachel says stubbornly.

Finn smirks, finally catching on; he blames the long day for him not noticing immediately. Recently, Rachel's libido has been on over drive, and at first she would try to deny it, or pretend certain things didn't affect her. Finn's not stupid he's noticed the changes in her attitude on many occasions, just deciding not to call her out on it. That is, until he caught her _watching_ Kurt and Adam washing Kurt's car. More specifically, she was watching _Adam_ without his shirt on. Finn on noticing immediately, called her out on it, asking her if Kurt should be worried. Suffice to say Rachel did not appreciate his teasing and threw her book at him. Since that incident, they have stopped pretending that Rachel seems to think everyone is attractive is normal. One thing Finn hasn't done is offer to help her out, teasing her about ogling Kurt's boyfriend is one thing, but Finn knows they have lines for a reason.

"Why?" Finn asks with a grin, slowly beginning to unbutton his shirt yet again, taking his time.

"You know why," Rachel says tensely. But despite her tone, her gaze is fixated on his chest. When she licks her lips, she growls in frustration, Finn's not exactly sure what she's frustrated with, his teasing or the fact that he stopped unbuttoning his shirt, "Finn don't make me say it."

"Why would I go _all_ the way in the bathroom, when I can just change into my t-shirt and shorts right in my room?" Finn asks innocently as he finishes unbuttoning his shirt, leaving it gaping open.

Rachel narrows her eyes at him, folding her arms over her chest with a huff, "I'm glad to see one of us is enjoying my suffering."

"C'mon Rach, I'm just teasing." Finn apologizes. He goes to squeeze her knee but gasps when she slaps his hand away.

"Don't touch me."

"Rachel, don't be like that, I was just kidding around."

"No Finn, it might be a joke to you, but it isn't to me." Rachel says angrily, "I'm hot _all_ the time."

"I can turn up the AC…"

"Not that kind of hot Finn," Rachel says tersely.

"I thought you just found everyone attractive?" Finn asks, slightly confused, he thought her heighten senses, so to speak, just made her think everything seem sexy.

"That's because I'm _constantly_ aroused Finn." Rachel grumbles in frustration, "This is not some joke for you to get your jollies off. My body is on fire every waking moment and _nothing_ is helping, or alleviating it."

Finn freezes at her words, "When you say _help_…do you mean…do you…you know."

"Finn, I almost propositioned the _mailman_ today." Rachel says in exasperation.

"_What_?" Finn says appalled, "You can't go asking some random dude for sex!"

"The mailman is 30 years old Finn! The fact that I even find _him_ attractive is worrisome!" Rachel exclaims, throwing up her hands in frustration.

She then looks across at him, her eyes wide and almost manic. Finn finds himself scooting back against the headboard at the look she's giving him. He isn't sure if she wants to devour him or tear him limb from limb, "_You_ have to help me."

"Help convince you the mailman, the mailman with the beer belly and receding hair line, is not attractive?" Finn asking incredulously

"Forget the damn mailman." Rachel demands as she crawls towards him, "You need to help me with my problem."

"Rachel." Finn says warningly. He gulps when Rachel crawls further up his body until she's straddling his thighs, her hands resting on his stomach.

"You're the reason, I'm in this state!" Rachel whines, slapping him on the stomach lightly.

"Slapping me isn't going to turn me on." Finn points you, but then he realizes his words and his ears pinks up in embarrassment. He's supposed to be steering the conversation _away_ from sex, but he's simply encouraging it. By the look Rachel is giving him, he does not need to try at all to encourage her.

"You're right. That only works on me." Rachel says pointedly. She bites her lip, looking at him through her eyelashes as she slowly grinds against him.

"Rachel." Finn says warningly. He grasps her hips, halting her movements. His jeans have already begun to feel tighter.

"Finn." Rachel whines out, "Just think of it as you're doing me a service, a favour. Friends helping each other out."

"Rachel! I'm not having sex with you!" Finn protests. He lifts her off his lap, placing on her side of the bed. Her constant squirming already having her desired effect on his body, "We have lines, lines that we both agreed we will not cross."

"Why? Can't we just erase the lines for today, then we can draw them back, tomorrow?" Rachel practically begs.

"Sex between the two of us, is never just sex. We can never just forget about it after." Finn points out calmly, "Hell the last time we had sex, we ended up with a _baby_."

"Then what's the harm in doing it one more time? It's not like I can get pregnant twice. It's not like either of us will get an STD or something. Only good things can come from us having sex. I can _finally_ have a proper orgasm."

"Rachel!" Finn says scandalized. He's never head her talk like this before, "What's gotten into you?"

"What's wrong with _you_? I'm offering you sex, no strings attached and you're saying no!" Rachel huffs in frustration, so much so to throw up her hands. Finn is pretty sure if she was standing she would be stomping her feet, "Is it because you find me unattractive?"

"Yes, because trying to guilt me into sex, is the right way to go about this, " Finn says dryly, not at all falling for her tactics. He's just glad she has that crazy look in her eyes, or else he would have caved ages ago; not that Rachel needs to know that.

"You're right. I'm sorry." Rachel says apologetically, pouting at him.

"That won't work either."

"Finn!"

"I'm sorry if I would like to have more standing than the _mailman_." Finn points out, hoping that the guilt trip will work on _her. _Sure enough, he watches as her shoulders sag and she scoots next to him, looking at him apologetically.

"You know that's not true." Rachel says softly, she at least has the decency to look guilty, "You're the only person I want to have sex with. But, you're right you and I never can _just_ have sex. It means more to the both of us than a casual thing. I do love you, you know."

Finn frowns, his eyes narrowing as he looks at her closer, trying to figure out if she's only doing this to get him in the mood. She giggles at his expression, her hand resting on his chest as she leans forward and places a brief kiss on his lips.

"Rachel." He says warningly.

"That wasn't to get you to have sex with me." Rachel promises. She smiles softly, at him, "It was a thank you. Thank you for loving me as much as you do, and putting up with my crazy moods. I'm sorry."

Finn laughs wholeheartedly at her sheepish expression. He grabs her hand and tugs her to his side. He wraps his arm around her waist, resting his hand on her stomach, "I love you too and you know I love your crazy as well, even when the pregnancy seems like your crazy is on steroids."

Rachel laughs resting her head on his shoulder, she links her fingers through his, both of their hands resting in the middle of her stomach, "Let's hope she inherits your calm demeanor, rather than my crazy."

"Imagine if she gets my anger _and_ your crazy?" Finn asks, wincing at the thought.

"Then we'll have to make sure all our furniture is made out of metal, that way she can't destroy it." Rachel says with a laugh.

At her words, they both freeze, the implication not lost to either of them. When Rachel tenses in his arms, he places a kiss on the side of her head, his lips grazing her temple, he doesn't need to use words to comfort her, no words can comfort either of them at the moment.

"We really need to start looking at those files." Finn says softly after a few minutes of silence.

"Can we do it tomorrow?" Rachel asks with a soft voice, her grip on his hand tightening.

"Baby, that's what we said last week." Finn points out, the term of endearment just slipping out, he feels Rachel sigh against him, "You're halfway through your pregnancy, we can't put this off anymore. We don't want to run out of time."

"Is there enough time in the world for us to choose the perfect family for our baby?" Rachel asks softly

"No." Finn answers sadly, his own grip around her waist tightening, almost as if he wishes he could just keep them both by his side and never let them go, "Maybe we can…"

"Finn."

"I know." Finn says with a sigh,

He leans his head against the headboard breathing deeply as Rachel slips out of his arms. A few seconds later the bed dips and he raises his head to see Rachel sitting crossed leg, the sealed envelop resting on her lap.

"Are you ready for this?" She asks softly, despite knowing the answer.

"No." He sits up, turning his body to face her, he places his hands on her knees, breathing in deeply, "But we'll never be ready for this."

Rachel nods as she tears open the envelope. Finn holds his breath, he thinks he and Rachel have been living together too long, because he feels like his heart is tearing into two at her gesture and that symbolism very much what Rachel would say. It doesn't change the fact that it's true though.

He's not ready to choose a family for their baby. They should be the only family their baby should have.

* * *

**Reviews are love :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm sorry for the delay, I had a bit of writer's block. This story is slowly coming to and end, only two more chapters. Thank you all for the lovely reviews :)**

* * *

"No, what kind of last name is Stevenson?" Finn asks incredulously, "Veto."

Rachel rolls her eyes at his response, "The last one, you said it was because of Mr. Grey's job."

"He works in the _circus_. We'd be literally giving our baby to a _clown_." Finn protests.

At his words Rachel sighs closing the folder, "Okay, I think its time we take a break."

"Don't give me that look." Finn whines as he flops back onto his bed, his head resting by Rachel's feet "You know I'm right."

"I know that you are making this process much harder than it already is." Rachel points out. She gently nudges his temple with her toe, "Stop being so narrow minded and stop making up elaborate stories."

"Says the girl who yesterday decided that because one of the women's grandfather died of cancer that meant that she would die young and then her wife would go into depression leaving our baby an orphan."

Rachel grins sheepishly, as Finn sits up, placing her feet in his lap and begins to massage them, "So maybe I have been watching one too many Lifetime movies. But, I have turned a new leaf and decided to approach this with an open and clear mind. Something, you should do as well."

"Fine, but I still get my 10 vetos." He smiles at her mischievously after placing her feet gently on the bed.

She looks at him curiously as he crawls towards her, an impish grin on his face "You know what we _should_ do?"

"Finn, we agreed that would be the last time." Rachel warns as Finn crawls to her side.

"Actually, we both agreed that we would not do that in the living room, where anyone can walk in on us." Finn points out as he places butterfly kisses along Rachel's collarbone, "Well, we're in our room now."

"We both know that time was just a momentarily lapse in judgment." Rachel sighs as Finn wet lips move up her neck, "What happened to not wanting my crazy pregnancy hormones to be the reason we do this?"

"When I am the one to initiate it, that kind of makes it moot, no?" Finn asks, his hot breath against Rachel's ear. Her already sensitive senses heightening at his ministrations, "At least that's what _you_ said last week."

"Finn, on a normal day I find it hard to resist…." Rachel trails off when Finn's mouth covers her own.

She sighs against his lips, no longer fighting him. Her fingers running through his hair, tugging on it as she slips her tongue between his lips. They stay like that for a few short moments, just lazily making out, neither of them taking it any further, until Finn pulls back, his lips swollen as he grins down at her. He sits hooks his arms under her armpits hoisting her into the air as he sits back against the head board, bring her with him.

"Finn! You can't carry me!" Rachel protests, but she's already sitting on his lap comfortably.

Finn laughs, tugging her hair out of its ponytail, "Your pregnant belly may hold another person, but it certainly doesn't weigh enough to be another person."

Rachel rolls her eyes, as he tucks her hair behind her hair gazing at her lovingly. Rachel heart swells at his gaze. She smiles at him, leaning forward to place a chaste kiss on his lips, but before he can deepen it, she pulls back. She presses her forehead against his, sighing softly, "Finn, what are we doing?"

"Rachel, you're 6 months pregnant, if you don't know what we're doing…."

"Finn."

Finn sighs and cups her cheek looking at her affectionately. He brushes his thumb against her cheek smiling warmly, "Do you love me?"

"What kind of question is that?" Rachel asks in annoyance, getting ready to pull away, but Finn refuses to let her move "Of course I love you!"

"And, I love you." Finn says cupping her cheek with both hands and kissing her softly, "That's all we really need."

"Finn," Rachel says with a sigh, but this time she initiates the kiss. "We both know that is not enough. We have things to work through. Issues…"

"Rachel, we have the rest of your lives to work through these issues." Finn says sincerely. He kisses her again, pulling back before _she_ can deepen the kiss this time. He smirks at her knowingly, touching her nose with his index finger. "Can you tell me, that after all we've been through these 5 months, and for the coming three months, that you can just walk away from me? That we would just go our separate ways after everything?"

"No." Rachel admits softly, shaking her head from side to side.

Finn then cups her face tugging her face towards him as he kisses her again, "Then stop thinking."

With those words, he tugs her a little closer to him, mindful of her pregnant belly, as he kisses her soundly on the lips. Rachel moans softly, taking his hand and moving it to her breast. Finn chuckles against her lips, clearly amused by her forwardness, but she doesn't even care, cause the feel of his large hand massaging her sensitive breasts has her entire body on fire and she's been waiting for _weeks_ to release that tension in her body.

She tries to press her body closer to Finn's but her stomach gets in her way. She pulls back, ignoring Finn's grunts of protests as she shifts her body so she's straddling Finn's lap. But she frowns again when she realizes that once again her stomach is in the way. Both she and Finn look down at her stomach; that is pressed against Finn's own stomach, but prevents her from getting closer to him as she would like.

"Well this is different." Finn says in amusement, placing his hand on her stomach. He grins across at Rachel, but Rachel does not appreciate the humour in this, "Hey, it's not that bad, we just have to remember not to squeeze the…Oh _my god!_"

Rachel eyes pop at his exclamation, his hands pressing against her stomach again, "You felt that?"

"Yes!" Finn says in excitement, moving his hand around her stomach again, "Has she been doing it all day?"

Rachel giggles as Finn pokes her stomach, almost as if that will encourage their child to poke him back in response, "She doesn't stop moving, I barely even notice it now. I notice more when she stops."

"Do you think you can ask her to do it again?" Finn asks curiously, poking her stomach again.

"She's not a jack in the box, Finn." Rachel says in amusement.

Finn ignores her as he tugs the hem of her dress, tucking it into the v of her top, exposing Rachel from her stomach down. "Finn! I'm in a dress!"

But Rachel's protests goes on deaf ears as Finn places his ear against her now bare stomach. She bites back a laugh as she watches him amusement, as he starts talking to the baby, "You do know she's still just a fetus? You're not going to get a reply."

"Do you think if I sing to her she would kick back?" Finn asks, clearly ignoring Rachel's teasing. "I know us singing usually calms her down, but I thought she would recognize my voice and...She did it again! Rachel, she kicked!"

"Finn, you talk to her every night, sometimes even sing to her before we go to sleep. Of course she's going to recognize her Dad." Rachel says warmly, smiling when Finn grins at up at her, placing a kiss on her stomach.

"This is so freaking cool." Finn says excitedly, jumping when the baby kicks yet again against the palm of his hand.

He places his lips against her bare skin yet again, whispering to her stomach, neither of them hearing when their bedroom door slams open, until Kurt's loud voice pulls them away from her stomach.

"I can't believe the two of you would do that with my niece or nephew present." Kurt says appalled, his hand covering his eyes, "Why is it always me?

It's the end of August and Kurt is home for week between semesters. Finn looks up at Kurt, his eyes wide in excitement, undettered by Kurt's comment, "Kurt! C'mon feel it!"

"Finn, what makes you think I want to…"

"Finn felt the baby kick for the first time." Rachel says dryly, twisting her neck to glare at her best friend as Finn lowers her dress covering her stomach and legs as Kurt makes his way to bed, his interest peaked.

"I thought we wouldn't get to feel the baby until you hit your third trimester?" Kurt asks curiously, as Finn grabs his hand placing it on Rachel's stomach.

"Well technically I am in my third trimester starting this week," Rachel points out. Her heart warms when she realizes that she and Finn aren't the only ones reading up on babies and pregnancies.

She shifts slightly in discomfort from sitting on Finn's legs. Before she can decide to move, Finn scoops her up in his arms, depositing her on the bed next to him and then placing a pillow behind her back. Once she's settled, both boys resume their positions with their hands on her stomach. She's gotten use to people invading her personal space since she started showing.

"I don't feel anything." Kurt says with a frown, moving his hand around her stomach.

"Don't pressure her, Kurt." Finn says defensively, making Rachel smile, "Give her time, she doesn't do it right away. If you just….see! Did you feel that?"

"Wow!" Kurt says his own excitement growing, making Rachel laugh.

There is a knock on their door, followed by an unfamiliar voice, pulling all three of them away from Rachel's stomach, "Kurt? Your mom said I could just come on up are they…."

Rachel freezes, when she sees her mother of all people stepping into her and Finn's room. Shelby on seeing Rachel, her eyes lowering to Rachel's abdomen, stops in her tracks, "Rachel."

"Oh, your mom's here." Kurt says unnecessarily as he pats Rachel on the stomach, before running out of the room.

"Shelby, what are you doing here?" Rachel asks in shock as she sits up.

"Your dads called me." Shelby says as she makes her way to the bed, "They told me about the baby and that you wanted to give the baby up for adoption. Your dad said you and Finn have been having a hard time trying to decide what family to choose."

Rachel bites her lip, looking at the forgotten file guilty; things with her Dads have improved greatly. She and Finn have dinner with them at least twice a week and spend weekends at her house sometimes. She just can't remember the last time she and Finn spent a night apart. They have both used the excuse of the baby, but they both know Finn doesn't need to be with her 24/7 but neither of them have brought it up.

"Seeing as I not only gave up my own baby, but also adopted one, your parents thought I should talk to you." Shelby continues as she takes a step towards the bed.

"No offense, but its not really the same thing." Finn points out, "You went into your agreement knowing you'd be giving Rachel up. Rachel getting pregnant wasn't something we planned."

"Just because I went into that arrangement knowing I'd be giving Rachel away doesn't mean it hurt any less. She was still my baby, I spent 9 months with her." Shelby says calmly looking at Rachel pointedly.

"You have a terrible way of showing that you cared." Finn retorts dryly.

"Finn!" Rachel says in surprise, speaking for the first time. She's never heard Finn speak like that to anyone.

"I deserved that." Shelby says, looking at Rachel apologetically, "I sought you out, wanting to get to know you, and when faced with that fact I ran. I'm sorry for that Rachel."

Rachel shrugs trying to seem as if Shelby's words don't affect her, but she knows that Finn sees right through her façade when he grabs her hand squeezing it in reassurance, "You're my mother but not my mom, I realize that now. Growing up I had an active imagination of what my life would have been like if you were around. I thought that I was missing out on something every little girl should have, but I realize now that my dads were more than I ever needed. I had everything I wanted. I do know that I won't make the same mistake with my daughter. We don't know what couple we are choosing but we want our daughter or son to know who we are, so they don't have the same questions I grew up with."

"That's exactly why I want Beth to know Quinn and Puck, in hindsight I should have realized that I needed to wait a few years when Beth is older and be able to understand the situation better. As well as Quinn and Puck were just kids themselves, they to need to grow up a bit." Shelby says, "Your dads may have been the ones to choose me, but I would never have agreed to it if I didn't think they could take care of a baby, no matter how much they were paying me. Letting someone raise your child is not something you take lightly. Yes, I know biologically you do belong to one of your dads, but that doesn't change the fact that you were still part of me. When choosing a couple, look for two people or even if you go with a single parent, just choose people who will love your baby unconditionally. Someone who will be able to provide for her in ways you never could. Trust your gut, I know it's hard, but it's not suppose to be an easy decision, don't commit to a family unless you're 150% sure."

Rachel feels Finn squeeze her fingers between his own, Shelby's words slowly sinking in, "Thank you, Shelby."

Shelby smiles warmly, holding out her hand to Rachel, "Now, why don't I take my pregnant daughter out for lunch and you and I can trade pregnancy horror stories."

Rachel smiles at the invitation, looking at Finn questioningly. "Go have fun with your Mom. I promised Puck some burgers and a game of COD weeks ago, anyway."

"Puck is actually babysitting Beth for me." Shelby pipes up, "I think he thinks watching a three year old is the same as watching a one year old. You should help him out."

"You left her with Puck, knowing he couldn't handle her?" Rachel asks incredulously as she slips out of bed.

Shelby laughs wholeheartedly at Rachel's tone, "I see your maternal instincts have kicked in. Puck is more than capable of taking care of Beth, he just thinks it will be an easy task, but my daughter is no longer a baby, she is her own little person. A very _deviant_ little person."

"A mixture of Puck _and_ Quinn, that's just got mischief written all over it." Finn says in amusement.

"He's got a point." Rachel says with a laugh, she looks across at Shelby with a smile, "I'll be right back."

* * *

Rachel sighs deeply as she looks down at the files in front of her. She's currently sitting on a lounging chair in her bikini, a glass of lemonade in her hand as she soaks up some sunshine, enjoying the unusually hot September that Ohio is currently experiencing. She is hoping the change of environment, will some how shed some light, and give her some kind of sign as to what family they should choose. They've narrowed it down to five couples at the moment, and they are each supposed to choose one family to take out and then left with three families, who they plan on meeting at the end of the week.

Rachel sighs, placing her hand on her bare stomach, "I wish there was some way you could just tell me who's right for you. I want so many things for you, and I need to make sure you go to a family that can give you those things and so much more. I want to know that you have someone to take care of you when you're sick. Someone, who will scare away the monsters under your bed. Someone, who will let you do ballet or football, anything your heart desires no matter what. I want them to accept you for who you are, whoever you turn out to be. I hope you have dreams as big as my own and a heart as big as your father's, no one can love like he can. I hope someone teaches you about life, and never giving up, everything I wish I could teach you, but can't. Remember your dreams are important, but they don't mean anything if you don't have anyone to experience it with. I just want you to be happy. I need to know that I did the best thing for you. You _need_ to be happy."

"She'll have that and more." Finn calls out softly, startling Rachel.

She looks up to see him standing next to the lounge chair, still dressed in he overalls from the tire shop, "Hey."

"How was your day?" Finn asks leaning forward to place a brief kiss on her lips, and then rubbing her stomach.

"Not very productive." Rachel sighs as she gathers up the files, making room for Finn to sit. "This shouldn't be this hard."

"I actually think it would be." Finn confesses. He rubs her kneecap smiling sadly at her, "Choosing the family isn't suppose to be easy. But, I do have a name to take out of the pile."

"The Jones?" Rachel asks curiously, that's the family she's been the least sure of and so far she and Finn have been in agreement with almost all the families they didn't think were right.

"Actually I was thinking of Peter Morris. Nothing is wrong with single parents, I grew up only with my mom all my life, but since she married Burt I realized how much we both missed out on, and I don't want that for our daughter." Finn says sheepishly.

"That makes sense, it's admirable, but I prefer if we choose a couple for her." Rachel says. She then looks down at the files thoughtfully, "I guess we just chose the last three families."

"Scared?" Finn asks softly.

"Terrified." Rachel confesses.

She's about to pick up the files yet again, but Finn takes the pile from her smiling at her frown. "No more second guessing. I'll call Ana in the morning to set up the appointments for us. I'm going to put these in your room."

Rachel nods, but before he can walk way she grabs his hand stopping him, "Change out of those dirty clothes, and join me in the pool?"

She giggles when Finn's face lights up in excitement, "Are you propositioning me Ms. Berry?"

Rachel laughs wholeheartedly at that, slapping his leg lightly, "Finn, I'm 27 weeks pregnant."

"I know, I was just kidding." Finn promises. He bends forward placing a kiss on her lips, "I'll be back. Don't forget to take your time going into the pool."

Rachel rolls her eyes at his warning, but nods her head nonetheless, knowing he won't leave unless she promises. She and Finn are back together. There was no big revelation or anything remotely dramatic like it normally is with them. One night they were lying in bed, sharing a bowl of popcorn while watching movies. In between a game of who can catch the most popcorn in their mouths; she turned to him and asked him if they were together and Finn simply replied that she was always his girlfriend. When there is no change at all, she's beginning to realize that Finn was right; they've always been together, since the pregnancy.

Once he's disappeared into the house, she slips off the chair, her back protesting as she gets into a standing position. She places her hand on her back rubbing it when she feels a little discomfort. Once the pain subsides she slowly makes her way towards the pool. " I swear to god kid, if you get any bigger they are going to have to roll me into the maternity ward. We can blame your father if you are abnormally large."

She laughs when she feels a strong kick to her stomach, "Okay, no mean things about Daddy. I got you. Daddy's girl through and through."

"You know, you should really let us know if you're a boy or a girl," Rachel says thoughtfully as she slowly steps into the pool, "Your dad says you're just shy, and you'll let us know when you're ready. Neither of us are exactly shy though."

"Are you on her case about not letting us know if she is in fact, a _she_?" Finn teases, startling Rachel.

"I'm almost 7 months pregnant and we still don't know." Rachel says with pout. She walks up to him, wrapping her arms around his torso, frowning when she can't rest her head on his chest, her stomach preventing her.

"I told you, it's a girl. We should be glad she doesn't want to be showing her business to the world." Finn says pointedly.

Rachel laughs wholeheartedly at his words, "You, me and Dr. Montgomery are hardly the world Finn."

"We are the only one's who should be seeing her business anyway." Finn protests. Rachel giggles at his over protective nature.

She gets on her tiptoes and tugs him down to meet her halfway, kissing him soundly on the lip. She sighs into the kiss, but when Finn deepens it, she pulls back and lowers herself so she's flat on her feet, "Sorry, I can't stay on my tip toes as long as I use to."

"Good thing we're good at improvising then." Finn says with a smirk, grabbing her gently by the waist and pulling her to him.

"You aren't going to lift me up." Rachel warns, her hands going to his chest, "That may have worked before, but now."

Finn laughs as he widens his legs slightly, water splashing around them. He grins at her when they faces are much closer, "See? Improvise. Now, can't a guy just kiss his girl with no protests?"

Rachel giggles as his lips covers hers yet again; she loops her arm around his neck, tugging on his hair as his tongue slips between her lips. Finn wraps his arms around her waist tugging her to him, the pool water splashing around them as her stomach presses against his own. Before either of them could deepen the kiss though they both feel a strong jab against their stomachs.

Finn laughs as he pulls back, taking a step back from Rachel, his arms still around her waist, "I guess my littlest girl doesn't agree with me."

Rachel tries to smile at his comment, but she ends up just wincing as she rubs her stomach, that kick was a pretty strong one, and the baby does not see to want to let up as she continues to kick Rachel. Finn smile falters immediately, on noticing Rachel's expression, "What's wrong?"

"She's kicking me _really_ hard." Rachel says wincing again. She feels slight shock in her back but ignores it as the baby kicks her again. "She's never kicked me this hard before."

"Hey kid, your mom's not a soccer ball." Finn jokes lightly rubbing her stomach for her, but despite his tone, Rachel can see his forehead is creased with worry, "Why don't we get you out of this pool? We can lie down for a while, that might calm her down."

"Yea, I haven't slept all day." Rachel says wincing again, but this time because the dull pain in her back has intensified. She allows Finn to usher her out of the pool, as she breathes deeply, her own worry increasing with every step she takes.

She's standing next to one of the chairs, waiting for Finn to get her towel, when she feels it. The feeling like her abdomen is ripping into two, she screams as she doubles over in pain, clutching her stomach.

This is not the baby kicking her too hard.

"FINN!" She screams out again as the pain returns. "Something's wrong!"

Finn is by her side before she can blink; a towel is thrown over her shoulders, "Rach, what's wrong?"

Rachel eyes fill with tears as she looks up at him, her own terror mirroring his own, "It feels like a contraction, but it's too soon. She's too early…"

She screams again when another contraction hits, she squeezes Finn's hand tightly, "We need to get you to the hospital."

Rachel nods she tries to take a step, but winces in pain, and before she knows it she is hoisted in the air and Finn has her in his arms. She releases a sob, her face pressed against his wet chest, "We can't loose her Finn."

"We won't baby." Finn's voice is full of fear as he tries to reassure her.

She looks up at him her eyes brimming with tears, hoping he will offer some kind of reassurance, but his face is paper white and he's not looking at her but between her legs. She follows his gaze, and she feels her heart drop to her stomach at the sight of her cream bikini bottoms stained bright red. "NO! I can't…."

"_RACHEL!" _

Finn's hysterical scream is the last thing she hears before everything goes dark.

* * *

**I'm sorry.**

**Reviews are love :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you all for the reviews, the yelling and threatening because of that last chapter made me giggle. This is it the penultimate chapter, only one chapter left then the epilogue. She has to have the baby at some point right? **

* * *

Finn sits in the hard hospital chair, his leg shaking as he grips Rachel's hand tightly. He wipes his tired eyes as he watches the slow rise and fall of her chest. The sound of the numerous monitors attached to Rachel as well as her abdomen surrounds him. The beeping monitors are the only indication that his family is okay.

"Honey, why don't you go home? Take a shower, or have some lunch?" His mom asks coming up to him, "Leroy and I can stay with her."

Carole looks across at Leroy who is sitting on the opposite side if Rachel's bed. Leroy's hand holding Rachel's other hand. Rachel's other dad, Hiram was in San Diego for a conference and has yet to arrive.

"I can't leave them Mom." Finn says pressing his lips against Rachel's clammy hand, "I don't want Rachel to wake up and I'm not here. The doctor said she should wake up soon."

Neither of their parents argues with him after that, Carole sighs but simply presses a kiss against Finn's head, "I'll head home and bring you a set of clothes and some lunch as well."

"Thanks Mom." Finn says gratefully, pulling his attention from Rachel's sleeping form to look at his mother.

"Leroy, do you want anything?" She asks the older man.

"I actually have to pick up Hiram from the airport." Leroy says, his own voice sound tired. Rachel's dad looks as worn out as Finn feels. Leroy stands next to Rachel's bed pressing his lips against her forehead, "See you soon buttercup."

Carole squeezes Rachel's feet at the end of the bed, before she grabs Leroy's hand squeezing it in comfort, "She's going to be okay. They both are. You did not raise a weak daughter and you can bet anything our grandbaby will be just as stubborn as her parents."

Leroy laughs at that, wiping his eyes as they walk out of the room, "That's for sure."

Once the door to Rachel's room closes, Finn sighs rubbing his face in his hand the exhaustion slowly setting in. He moves his chair a little closer to Rachel's bed, resting his free hand on her stomach gently, his face just inches from Rachel's stomach.

"You're not allowed to scare us like that again," Finn says sternly, his voice wavering as he continues, "You're not allowed to leave us before we can even meet you. You are your mother's daughter after all. You need to make your presence known by making a grand entrance. This is not the way to do it. Are you as anxious to meet us, as we are to meet you? Be patient, you only have two more months to go, and I would really like it if you waited till the right time to come. There is not rush, we're going to have all the time in the world when you get here."

Finn pauses at his words, his heart aching when he realizes he won't get to witness that. He then looks at Rachel's sleeping form, the swell of her stomach more prominent than ever. He feels a soft jab against his hand and he feels is eyes begin to fill with tears, "Is that your way of agreeing with me?"

He feels another jab yet again and he can't help but laugh in response, "Why do I have a feeling you're going to be defiant like your mother? Or, maybe just stubborn like her? I can't wait to meet you. _We_ can't wait to meet you, but you need to be healthy, and you can't be healthy if you're too impatient to wait for the right time. You and your Mom are the two most important people in my life; I refuse to lose either of you. I _can't _lose you."

Finn's heart beats rapidly against his chest as his words slowly sink in. He can't do it; he can't give their baby away. His mind is still reeling from his latest revelation when he hears a soft moan come from the head of the bed.

Finn scrambles out of his seat, squeezing Rachel's hand, and sighing in relief when she squeezes back. He watches as her eyes slowly flutter open and she licks her parched lips, "Finn?"

"Hey baby," Finn says softly, his voice catching in his throat. He's never been more grateful to see those deep brown eyes staring back at him.

Rachel opens her mouth about to say something, but she sighs clearly trying to catch her breath. She licks her lips again as she looks up at Finn, when she is finally aware of her surroundings her eyes widen and both of her hands press frantically against her stomach, "The baby!"

"She's fine, you're both fine." Finn promises, pressing his lips to her hand. He intertwines their fingers and moves their hands around her stomach, "You're both going to be okay."

Rachel sighs in relief as she closes her eyes breathing in deeply, "What…what happened?"

"The doctor says you had a partial placenta abruption." Finn says, as he licks his own lips, "That's what caused the bleeding, and she thinks all the kicks you were feeling…before it happened, was because she was in distress. Basically the placenta was separating from the uterus wall and that caused your contractions, but Dr. Montgomery was able stop that and the abruption also stopped."

"And the baby?" Rachel asks in concern, her arm resting on her abdomen protectively.

"She's okay now. Things got a little scary when we first came in." Finn chokes out as he starts to relive the moments after Rachel collapsed and when the ambulance brought them to the hospital. Finn bites his lips as his eyes begin to fill with tears, he feels Rachel squeeze his hand in comfort as he breathes in deeply before he continues, "They thought that they would have to deliver, but they were able to stop your contractions and lower the baby's heart rate. Dr. Montgomery just wants to monitor the two of you for the next 24 hours and then you can go home, but you're going to be on bed rest. Once that is under control, Dr. Montgomery says she doesn't see any problem with you and our _daughter_ heading home."

Rachel eyes widen at his words, more specifically the way he emphasizes the word daughter, she gasps slightly when Finn grins at her, "A girl?"

Finn nods with a grin, "Yup, I guess she decided it was time we knew."

"We're having a _girl_." Rachel says in awe, her eyes welling with tears, "A baby girl. We almost lost our little girl"

When her voice breaks Finn frowns, squeezing her hand in his own, "But we didn't, you're both healthy. We can't think of the what ifs."

Finn leans over her supine form kissing her softly, "Just don't _ever_ scare me like that again, okay?"

"I promise." Rachel says sincerely. She watches him closely, and Finn knows what she's going to ask before she even speaks, "Are _you_ okay?"

Finn sighs as he smooths down her hair, just needing to do something with his hands as he speaks, "I am now. Once the two of you are okay, that's all I need. I don't think I can handle losing either of you."

"You won't." Rachel promises.

Finn watches as she frowns at her own words and he knows that she's thinking about their baby's future, more specifically their baby's future without _them_. But when she doesn't say anything, he decides not to voice his latest decision about this right now; they've had enough to deal with today as it is.

"Your Dads should be back from the airport soon, and my mom went home to get some things for me." Finn says, breaking the silence, "Kurt called, he had a mandatory dance thing today but he said he'll come home for the weekend. I think Santana is on her way. She told her boss that her grandmother died and she needs the week off."

Rachel groans at that, "She _lied_ to her boss?"

"It's Santana." Finn says with a smile, "At least you will have some company, you did say you were going stir crazy at home, and now you're stuck in bed. Between Santana and I, we'll keep you occupied."

"Finn, you don't need to…" But Rachel trails off at the look Finn gives her. She sighs and changes her tune, "It will be nice to have both you _and_ Santana at my beck and call."

Finn laughs at that, "I can't speak for Santana, but you know if you need anything you just have to call me. Speaking of call, Dr. Montgomery told me to page her when you woke up. You're okay?"

Rachel nods, stifling a yawn, "Just a little tired, but fine otherwise."

"I'll be back." Finn says placing a kiss on her forehead before he leaves.

* * *

"Is that really necessary?" Rachel asks in exasperation as Finn fluffs her pillows before she can lean against the headboard of their bed.

"We decided to move all our stuff into your room because it has a bathroom and would be more convenient for you." Finn says calmly, "But, your house is still _huge_ and a bell would be easier if you need me."

"_Or_ I can use this thing called _cellphones_." Rachel says sarcastically, she growls at him when he starts to pull the comforter over her legs, yanking it from him "I can do that."

"Does it really make sense we run up our phone bills, when we're both in the same house?" Finn asks in mild exasperation.

He's trying his hardest to keep his voice calm, for the past week he has been moving his and Rachel's things from his room to hers. They haven't been in Rachel's room much over the past few months, so Finn needs to make space for his things. Rachel is being anything but reasonable when it comes to him moving around her stuff. It's not that she doesn't want to make space for him; its just Rachel prefers to do it herself, but she can't. So, instead she's been bossing Finn around all week and Finn is at his wits end. He understands that she's going a little crazy being stuck in bed all day, but he's just getting tired of being yelled at.

"That's why we have Facetime." Rachel points out, "You are not an _animal_ Finn and I refuse to call you with a bell of all things."

Finn sighs at her words flopping back onto the bed tiredly, she knows she makes a point, and maybe _he's_ just exhausted instead if it being the other way around. He's just about to abandon the rest of the unpacking he has to do, when Rachel runs her fingers through his hair, "Come snuggle with us."

Finn chuckles at her words, the 'us' is more him and Rachel snuggling, with her stomach between them, pressed up against Finn, not that he's complaining in the slightest. He quickly rolls over and crawls up the remaining of the bed, tugging Rachel to him, mindful not to be too rough with her. He's so paranoid now, about doing anything that can harm Rachel or the baby, he's been extra cautious how he does everything. He knows Rachel gets annoyed with him, but he can't help it, every time she even raises her voice, or sounds even remotely upset, he gets flashbacks of that day. Rachel passed out in his arms _bleeding_, is something he _never_ wants to relive again. It's only been a few days, but already so many people including Rachel have caught him just watching her as she sleeps, sometimes his ears pressed against her stomach. He can't help it; he doesn't think he's ever going to relax until Rachel delivers their daughter safely and they are both healthy in his arms.

"I was thinking." Rachel whispers hesitantly, her soft voice breaking their comfortable silence, "About the families, I know we were supposed to meet with them at the end of the week, but with everything that has happened maybe we should do this next week or something? I can't go to the parents, but maybe they wouldn't mind having the meeting here?"

"I cancelled the meeting with Ana," Finn says softly, speaking about the adoption agent they have been working with the past few weeks.

"That's good, I'll call her later this week and explain…"

"I can't give her up." Finn blurts out. He feels Rachel stiffen in his arms, as she slowly pulls back to look at him, her eyes wide. Rachel knows exactly which _her_ Finn is referring to.

Before Rachel can express her thoughts on Finn's latest revelation, he sits up and looks at her seriously, "When you collapsed in my arms Rachel, I'd never been more scared in my life. I didn't know what was happening, if I was going to lose you. I was powerless to do anything about it. When we got to the hospital and they were able to stop the bleeding, and stabilize you, I felt like the vice grip someone had on my heart had finally loosen. But, then they told me about our daughter, that they might have to do an emergency C-Section. You are only 27 weeks along, we both read the books, the chances of the baby surviving were slim to done. She had a greater chance of _dying_ than she had of living. I felt like I lost part of myself when they told me that. Here is this little person, you have been growing and nurturing for the past 7 months. The little person that is equal parts me and you, that we've both grown to love more than anything in the world and she was going to be taken away from us before we could even meet her. We wouldn't even get a chance to show her how much we love her. When everything worked out, and the both of you were okay, I realized I can't lose her Rach. I can't give her up. She's _our_ daughter, and we're the only ones that should be raising her, no one else will love her the way we do."

Finn sits up, looking at her closely, trying to gauge her reaction to all that he just said. But, to his utter surprise Rachel remains calm and just nods her head, "Okay."

"What?" Finn asks in confusion, his heartbeat begins to rise as her comment slowly sinks in, "You mean…"

Rachel's eyes fill with tears, "I can't do it. I can't give her up either. I've been thinking about it all week, but I didn't know how to tell you. I know you told me to stop thinking about what _could_ have happened, but I can't stop thinking about it. What if they had to deliver her? What if she had died before I had woken up? We would have lost her and I wouldn't have even met her. Our _daughter_ would have _died_ before I had the chance to even meet her. There is so much I want to teach her; show her and I can't do that if someone else is raising her. I know all the reasons we said we couldn't are still very much a problem, but this is our _daughter_ and we get to be selfish about that. I don't want anyone raising her but _us_."

Finn looks at her his eyes wide, his heart beating against his ribcage rapidly. He takes her hand in his looking at her seriously, "We're really doing this?"

Rachel nods, "We're going to be family. I know its going to be hard and there are so many things we need to work out but…"

Finn presses his lips against hers cutting her off, "Well figure it out together."

* * *

"Rachel." Finn exclaims in exasperation, watching as Rachel glares back at him. She's almost completely obscured by her almost 8 months pregnant belly, but he can't even focus on how cute she looks because he's so frustrated with her.

"No Finn, I'm not backing down from this." Rachel says stubbornly. Her calm voice freaking Finn out more than it should, "We're both giving up a lot for this baby, while some things like my Broadway future will be put on hold for the time being. Your education is not something we are taking off the table completely. I can still do the career I want without an education, sure it won't be easy, but it's more than possible. You want to be a _teacher_ you can't do that without a degree. There are programs that cater to working adults, online courses, things you can do while you work. I know you're concerned about not spending time with us, but this will be better for you and our family in the long run. Finn, I can't be a Broadway star in New York, unless we are in New York. We can't go to New York unless we have a steady income and the means to raise our daughter. The only way we can do all of that, is if _you_ get your degree here in Lima and then can apply for a teaching job in New York."

"Hey! You can't guilt me into this." Finn protests weakly.

Rachel simply rolls her eyes at him, "I'm not saying anything you don't already know. We both know I'm right. Financially, Lima is our _only_ option right now, you know that and I know that, so we will make do with what we can. You were planning on going to school here anyway, why not do it now when we have the means for you to do it? We're going to be in Lima for at least two or three years before she goes to preschool, I'm going to be home with her for those three years. I already spoke to my dad about using my college fund for the baby; that will take a _lot_ off our backs. We can save up, you can look for a program that allows you to study and work at the same time. Maybe be a teaching assistant, that can get you extra credit for that, to go towards your degree. Your education is not something we will compromise with Finn."

"You really thought about this." Finn says in awe.

"Of course I have." Rachel shakes her head as she holds out her hand, gesturing for him to come to her, "I've been stuck on this bed for the past three weeks. All I've been doing is making sure we can make this work. I know you think you need to work full time in order to provide for us, but Finn the reason we are staying in Lima, living in my parents' house, is so that the entire burden does not fall on us. You getting your degree will help our family in the long run, make it so that we can go to New York, one day."

"And you're okay with being a stay at home mom? With giving up your dream?" Finn asks with concern.

"Finn, I'll do _anything_ for our daughter." Rachel says sincerely, "Besides, its not like I will stop singing completely, I currently have my own build in audience and it will be a few months before she can run away or tell me to stop."

Finn laughs wholeheartedly at that, "She's going to be singing before she can talk isn't she?"

"Of course." Rachel grins sending him a wink, "But she won't be the only one, I can always offer to help glee club, two hours a day three times a week? That will help me keep my voice in top shape and I'm sure one of our parents won't mind baby sitting for a few hours. I'm not really worried about it. If I'm meant to be on Broadway, it will happen."

"I just hate that you're now stuck in Lima," Finn says softly, "You deserve so much more than that."

To Finn's utter surprise Rachel slaps him on his arm, the only part she can reach without moving. The hardness in her voice, surprising him more than anything, "Don't you _dare_ sell yourself short Finn Hudson. Nothing is wrong with the life we are building here, being "stuck" in Lima is not some kind of death sentence. Your parents and mine have created a life here, raised their kids here and they are doing just fine. I'm not stuck anywhere. I'm with my family, that's all I need. I know we have a lot of things to work out. I know that money will always be an issue for us, especially if we want to make it on our own, but as of right now we can't do that, we have to rely on our parents. We both know if our daughter was in our position we would help her out in a heartbeat."

Finn groans at the thought, rolling onto the bed and burying his face into her stomach, "Can we not think about that?"

Rachel laughs at his words, running her fingers through his hair as she speaks, "And I'm suppose to be the dramatic one. My point is, lets just accept the help that we are getting and take things one at a time. Right now our biggest concern is getting things for her when she comes. Daddy gave me his credit card, but I was wondering if we should use the money we have in our…um the honeymoon money we saved up."

"You still have that?" Finn's head shoots up in surprise.

"I couldn't spend it. It's both of our savings, its gain some interest over the last year and half." Rachel says quietly, "I told Daddy about that, but he said I should keep it, just in case."

"Just in case of what?" Finn asks in confused, but when Rachel gives him a pointed look, he smiles warmly at the thought, "He's right. We should save it."

"Yea?"

"Most definitely." Finn says with a grin, going on his knees so he can kiss her soundly, "One day, we'll need it."

Rachel grins in response, grabbing his shirt collar and pulling him in for another kiss, "I love you."

"I love you too." Finn returns the sentiment, he then looks down at her large stomach and places a kiss on the very top, "And I love you, even if you're taking over your mother's body."

"Well, you dorks are going to love me." A familiar voice calls out, they both turn to the door to see Santana walking into their room pushing a bright pink stroller, a brand new pink stroller, "I think the spot for godmother has just been filled. Am I the best or what?"

"Did you just buy your way into being our daughter's godmother?" Finn asks incredulously as he slips off the bed to examine the stroller. Santana doesn't need to know that they had decided on her and Kurt as godparents ages ago, even if Kurt doesn't believe in that and Rachel isn't even Catholic.

"Santana, you bought us a _stroller_? Those things are expensive!" Rachel protests as she sits up, swinging her legs off of the side of the bed. She gestures for Santana to bring the stroller to her, despite her protest.

"My job pays good money, well people tip well and my goddaughter needs something badass seeing as the two of you are totally hopeless. So, why not her first set of wheels? She'll be the coolest baby in the neighbourhood. All the boys or girls will want a ride from her. "

"No, no. She will be giving no one _rides_." Finn says with a huff, frowning when both girls laugh at his expense. She's not even born yet and you two are ready to ship her off with some dud."

"Finn, you have many, many years with her to convince her that boys are evil, okay?" Rachel teases, patting his hand in mock reassurance.

Finn knows she's teasing him, but he can't help but smile widely at her words, "I do have all the time in the world with you."

Rachel grins, squeezing his hand, "We do."

"You two are going to make me barf. Check this shit out." Santana demands, grabbing the stroller and making a three point turn with it, "Four wheel drive! You can climb mountains with this shit, and she still will look cool."

Finn eyes widen in surprise as he grabs the handle bar moving the stroller, "Rach, you can do a 360 on the spot."

"This thing is so good, _you_ would want to sleep in it." Santana boasts.

Rachel rolls her eyes as the two of them continue to go through the different gadgets with the stroller and testing out the breaks. She looks up startled when she hears her name being called; sure enough Carole walks into the room her arm laden with bags.

"Rachel, Kurt and I thought get you one or two little things for the nursery, but then we went into this boutique that they opened in downtown, and we may have gone a little overboard."

"A _little_?" Finn asks incredulously as he takes some of the bags from his mother, placing them on the bed for Rachel, "Mom, you and Kurt bought out the store."

"Don't be ridiculous, Finn." His mother says dismissively as she empty the contents of one of her bags onto the bed, she holds up a little pink onesie that says 'My Grandma is better than yours' grinning at Rachel and Finn proudly, "It's it cute? I wanted to buy more than one, but Kurt said a girl should never own two of the same things."

Rachel laughs wholeheartedly at the older woman's words; Finn's mother's enthusiasm is infectious. She picks up a pink little bootie and holds it in the palm of her hand, she looks at it full of awe showing it to Finn, "Finn! Look at how tiny this is."

"Seeing as this is Finn's kid after all, she will probably grow out of that within a day." Santana says in amusement plopping onto the bed and begins going through the bags with Rachel and Finn's mother.

"That is true. I was telling Kurt we should probably hold off on onesies till she's born. If she's anything like Finn, who knows what sizes you'd have to get" His mother says seriously.

"Mom." Finn groans in embarrassment, but his mother isn't even taking him on anymore, instead she's pulling out other onesies to show off to Rachel and Santana.

"Why don't you go help your brother with some of the boxes?" His mother suggests, she looks at Rachel sheepishly, "I may have bought a carseat and a bouncer, but Kurt wants it to be a surprise, so you'll act surprised okay?"

"Mom, he didn't even bring the stuff up yet, you could have waited a few minutes." Finn says in exasperation, sending Rachel a look, but Rachel is just giggling.

"I was excited okay?" His mother says in defense, "I forgot how much fun it is to shop for a baby. When I was pregnant with Finn, his father couldn't go into a store without picking up something for him, the only problem is, through out my entire pregnancy the doctor told us we were having a girl, so we prepared for that, only to be pleasantly surprise when Finn was born."

"So you really _were_ Finessa." Santana teases, howling with laughter as she clutches a stuff animal to her chest, "That explains so much."

Finn growls as the girls laugh _including_ his mother, "Mom!"

"Finn, the girls and I will sort out the baby things, go on and help your brother," Carole says dismissing him, much to Finn's annoyance.

He rolls his eyes, about to protest, but then he watches as Rachel's eyes light up in delight when she pulls out a little ballerina outfit, he holds back his comment. It's been a while since he's seen her look that excited and happy. While they are both firm on their decision with keeping the baby, they still have so many things to discuss, and so many things they have been debating over the last few weeks. That along with Rachel's health concerns has prevented both of them from really being able to enjoy the fact that they will be having a baby soon. Finn smiles when his mother opens another bag, pulling out a little bikini meant for a toddler, when he hears her say its for next summer he can't help but roll his eyes, but he grins when all the girls fawn over the little outfit. His mother is the best, she knew exactly what Rachel needed to get her mind off of things, and just focus on enjoying her pregnancy.

Finn looks at them one last time, before he slips out of the room, his heart heavy. He may be excited for the baby's arrival, but he can't help but think back to that day in the hospital. The time he spent on google looking up Rachel's disease, his own active imagination working on overdrive. Rationally, he knows they can trust their doctor, that Rachel and baby aren't out of the woods completely, but they are doing everything they are supposed to be. He just can't help but worry, right now his greatest concern isn't how they are going to do this, is greatest concern is that both Rachel and the baby come out of the delivery safely and healthy.

He just can't ignore the nagging in the back of his mind that something can still go wrong, seriously wrong. He just doesn't know how to make it stop.

* * *

**Did you really think I'd have Finchel give their kid away? **

**Reviews are love :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**This is it. The final chapter. This fic started off as a tiny one shot that grew into something I never expected. Thank you all for reading and reviewing your thoughts meant a lot to me. I'm so glad so many of you enjoyed this fic, my very first angst fic.**

* * *

"I want out!"

"Baby…"

"Don't you 'baby' me, Finn Hudson!" Rachel yells, taking up one of the pillows off their bed and throwing it at Finn. "You aren't the one who is _100_ weeks pregnant."

Finn rolls his eyes, picking up the pillow and putting it at the foot of the bed, "You're only 37 weeks."

"_Only_ 37 weeks? _Only 37 WEEKS_? Finn, my due date was over a week ago, I am currently a _week_ overdue. This baby was supposed to be born a week ago. I've been sitting in this bed for 10 weeks. I've been staring at these pink walls for _ten_ _weeks._ I want out of this bed _now_!"

Finn gulps as he takes a cautious step towards the bed, "How about I fix up the couch for you and you can relax in the living room? Or maybe on the patio?"

"Finn, it's the middle of _November_ why would I want to freeze my ass off in the cold?" Rachel grumbles. She shifts on the bed trying to get comfortable for the millionth time, "Did you finish building the crib?"

"I was…"

"Finn, the baby could be here any minute, we can't bring the baby home with no crib!" Rachel complains, "If she gets here before that is finished. _You_ can stay in the nursery and she'll just sleep on your side of the bed."

Finn sighs taking a deep breath before he speaks, not bothering to point out that for the first few months their daughter will be sleeping in the little bassinette that Shelby bought for them, "I'm in the middle of building it. Do you need anything before I get back to it?"

"I'm not an invalid Finn, I can do things for myself." Rachel snaps as she picks up her iPad balancing it on her large stomach, essentially dismissing him.

Finn rolls his eyes but quickly walks away, knowing nothing he says will be the right thing anyway. He goes back to the nursery which looks almost the same as it use to be as the guest room, but instead of the twin bed in the room, there is a large space for the crib which is partially built. Instead of the deep blue on the walls it's now covered in a warm baby pink. They knew that the nursery would not be completed before the baby was born, but Rachel insisted that her daughter at least had pink room. Luckily, the baby will be staying in their room for a few months, so they still have time to fix up the nursery as best as they can.

Finn looks at the partially constructed crib and sighs; he's just about to grab one of the planks of wood when Rachel calls out to him, yet again. Finn sighs, waiting to see if she yells out her demand like she usually does, but instead she screams his name yet again.

"FINN! Are you deaf?" She screams.

"I'm coming Rach!" Finn calls out with a roll of his eyes, taking his time as he walks down the hallway, "You know, if you want me to finish this crib you should stop…"

Finn trails off when he walks into their room his jaw dropping. Rachel is standing at the foot of their bed, gripping the bedpost for dear life. She is standing in a small puddle of liquid her eyes wide in terror gripping her stomach, "The baby's coming!"

"What?" Finn asks numbly still looking at all the fluid dripping down Rachel's legs.

"FINN!" Rachel screams again, groaning in pain, "Don't just stand there! Help me out of these clothes, we need to go to the hospital!"

Finn shakes his head, bringing himself back to reality, and quickly walks over to Rachel, mindful of the puddle on the floor, "You want to change before we go?"

"I'm not going like this!" Rachel grumbles, as she slaps him on the shoulder for good measure, "Just help me get these clothes off."

Finn looks at her soiled pants, trying not to frown, but he groans when Rachel slaps him again, "Now is not the time to get squeamish Finn Hudson. Childbirth is not a clean, easy process. The baby doesn't just magically appear out of thin air all cute and clean."

"Sorry, I just wasn't expecting so much of _that_." Finn says gesturing at everything on the floor.

Rachel rolls her eyes she tugs her t-shirt off throwing it in the puddle, using her foot to let the t-shirt soak up most of it. She then grabs Finn's arm, her nails digging into his forearm, "Just help me to the shower, you can clean that up while I'm bathing."

"You're going to _shower_ too? Rachel you're in labour." Finn protests but he helps her to the bathroom, knowing if he doesn't she'll just try to make it there on her own.

"Labour can last for hours, Finn. Complete strangers are going to be poking and prodding my business for the rest of the day; I _refuse_ to go into the hospital smelling like amniotic fluid. Just help me with my pants, you know I can't bend over to take them off."

She slaps him again and Finn bites his tongue to refrain from groaning in pain as he helps her tug off her pants and underwear while Rachel takes off her bra. Once she is standing in the shower and Finn makes sure she is okay, he hurries out of the room to clean up the mess (he knows if he even thinks about leaving it she will yell at him) and then gets her clothes for her, along with her hospital bag that has been packed already.

"Finn! Just because my contractions are far apart and we have time, doesn't mean we can waste all of it!" Rachel yells from in the bathroom.

"I was just…"Finn trails off not bothering to finish after the glare he receives.

He helps her out of the shower, biting his tongue as he helps her get dressed, silently praying that this will be a fast delivery.

* * *

Four hours later, Finn is sitting in Rachel's room watching as Rachel's dad Leroy holds up his phone to Rachel showing her pictures of rocking chairs. He bites his lip nervously as Rachel's expression hardens and she groans in pain as a contraction hits. Once it subsides she turns to Finn glaring at him pointedly.

"Mr. Berry, could you do me a favour?" Finn asks politely, as he gets to his feet, "My mom is suppose to be here soon, can you call her just to make sure everything is okay? I would, but I'd have to go outside to make the call and I don't want to leave Rachel."

"Oh, sure Finn. I'm sure between your mother and I we can decide which rocking chair to pick for the two of you." Leory says happily, Finn can tell he's still buzzing with excitement, despite the fact that they have all been in the hospital for over four hours and there has been very little progress with Rachel's labour. "I'll see you in a bit bumble bee."

"Thank you," Rachel says breathing in relief, and accepting the glass of water from Finn, "I'm pretty sure I was two seconds away from taking his phone and throwing it out of the window. Or better yet throw _him_ out of the window."

Finn bites back a laugh knowing that he is only glad that Rachel's wrath was no longer focused on _him_, but if Rachel sees him laughing she would most likely turn on him again.

"How are you so calm?" Rachel asks slightly breathless, she winces as another contraction hits and she grabs Finn's hand squeezing it tightly.

After a few deep breaths, from the both of them, and Finn wipes Rachel's brow slightly he smiles warmly at her, "Oh I'm constantly freaking out, wondering if we have everything she needs. If the two of you will be okay, but I know everything is on you now, so the least I could do is pretend to stay calm for you."

Rachel smiles up at him tiredly, gesturing for him to come closer to her. When Finn looks at her wearily, Rachel rolls her eyes, "I'm not going to slap you."

"Remember that for the next contraction." Finn says only partially teasing as he leans over as she pulls him in for a kiss.

"The kid is barely out of the womb and the two of you are already going for another one?"

Both Finn and Rachel pull away to see Puck standing at the doorway grinning, a stuffed bunny in his hand. On seeing Rachel's stomach Puck frowns, "You haven't popped the kid out yet?"

"Does it look like it, Puckerman?" Rachel growls.

Finn sighs as the good mood he tried so hard to get her in completely wiped out because of Puck and his comment, "Dude, I thought you were in Miami? Last time we talked you said your pool business was booming."

"It is, but I came home for Thanksgiving. I actually just drove straight here." Puck looks at Rachel with a grin, "You were waiting on me Berry? You shouldn't have."

Rachel glares at him, about to retort when another contraction hits and she groans in pain.

"Wow, you look like you're dying there, Berry."

"Finn!"

Finn sighs, shoving Puck out of the door, "Go home. I'll call you when the baby is born."

"Rachel don't forget, Finessa is an awesome name!" Puck calls out, laughing when a cup comes flying towards him but hits the door instead, "You still have the worst aim than anyone I know."

"Finn!"

"Dude, just go already." Finn says in exasperation, closing the door on Puck, he looks across at Rachel apologetically.

He grabs the small hand towel to wipe her forehead, but Rachel slaps his hand away, "Don't touch me."

"Rach…"

"No, just leave me alone, get another cup or something." Rachel grumbles, "Everyone is pissing me off now. I know you're trying to help but I just…ow damn it!"

"Are you okay?" Finn asks in concern, ignoring her earlier words and taking a step towards her.

"No, Finn. I'm in _labour_ in case you didn't realize." Rachel snaps as she rubs her stomach, " I'm not _okay_. My body is feeling as though it's being ripped into two so it can get ready so I can push a _bowling ball_ through my vagina. So, no Finn I'm not okay!"

Finn winces, bracing himself in case she slaps him again, but at the same time the door opens and he breathes a sigh in relief when his mother and Leroy walk into the room talking animatedly. His mom has a stuffed bear in her hand along with a balloon attached to its hand. Seeing an opportunity to leave, he places a quick kiss on Rachel's forehead, rubbing her stomach simultaneously, "I'll be back."

He sprints out the door, not waiting for a response. Once he's outside he takes a deep breath, saying a silent prayer that her labour progresses faster, he's not sure how much more either of them can handle.

* * *

"No! Check again." Rachel demands as she sits up as much as she can while glaring at the nurse that is sitting between her legs, "You're wrong. I demand a do over."

"Babe…" Finn says calmly, but winces when Rachel squeezes his hand tightly.

"No, it's been _ten_ hours. I refuse to believe that I am _only_ 8 centimeters. She's wrong. I want Dr. Montgomery to check me. My contractions are more frequent than any other time and it's been _ten_ hours. I can't possibly _only_ be 8 centimeters. Get Dr. Montgomery to check, tell her I'm ready to deliver."

"Ms. Berry, you know you have to be at 10 centimeters before you can deliver." The nurse says calmly as she pulls off her gloves, "Everything is going well, you are doing fine, the baby is not in distress. Your labour is progressing perfectly, just slowly."

"I want Dr. Montgomery." Rachel says stubbornly, "Get me Dr. Montgomery."

"Rachel." Finn warns, looking at the nurse apologetically.

But the nurse just smiles, "It's okay Mr. Hudson, I'll get Dr. Montgomery. She wants to talk to the two of you about your options in case the labour does not progress."

Finn eyes widen, and he feels Rachel's grip tighten on his hand, and he knows this time is not out of anger but out of concern, "Are you saying she can just _stop_? But what about the baby?"

"Some mother's don't progress further than 8 centimeters and usually there are ways to try to further move things along, but with Rachel's history a C-section may be your best option. But I'll get Dr. Montgomery she can explain everything to you."

Once she leaves the room, Rachel turns to Finn her eyes filling with tears, her voice breaking as she speaks, "Finn…"

"Hey, it's gonna be okay." Finn promises, as he kisses her forehead, "You're both going to be okay. You'll see, our girl is just a little stubborn, we shouldn't expect anything less from her."

Rachel giggles lightly at that, wiping her face in Finn's t-shirt as he scoots onto her bed with her, "Are you going to tell me something cheesy about she's so comfy inside me she just doesn't want to leave?"

"Would it help?"

"I wish. She has to be okay." Rachel pleads. She groans again as another contraction hits squeezing Finn's hand again, "Finn, I'm so tired."

"I know baby." Finn says softly kissing her forehead as he slips off the bed to get pour her a glass of water, "You can do it. You're the strongest person I know."

"Can you push for me?" Rachel asks tiredly as she takes a sip of water.

Finn chuckles, "You know if I could I would."

"You're the best boyfriend in the world, you know that right?" Rachel declares as she yawns, resting her head on Finn's shoulder, once he's seated next to her yet again. "I wish I could just put this on pause, sleep for an hour and then I can start it back."

"I wish you could just have her now, so you would no longer be in pain and we could meet her."

"I like your wish better." Rachel says, "I just want her to be with us."

"Me too, Rach." Finn says in agreement, placing his hand on her stomach, "Me too."

* * *

Almost an hour later the door to Rachel's room opens and Dr. Montgomery walks in hurriedly as she slips on her gloves, "Rachel, Finn I'm so sorry for the wait, one of my patients had to have an emergency C-section. Marie told me that you weren't quite there yet. I'm hoping now things have progressed."

"Someone else had their baby in that short time?" Rachel whines, she looks at Finn annoyed, "Everyone is having their babies, why can't I have our baby?"

Finn eyes widen and look across at their doctor for help, he's not sure how he's supposed to answer that question and still be in Rachel's good graces. Dr. Montgomery smiles, patting Rachel on the knee as she places Rachel's feet on the stirrups, "How about we figure that out now? How far apart are your contractions?"

"About three minutes or so." Finn answers for Rachel, wincing when yet another contraction hits and she squeezes his hand tightly.

"Good news, everything is looking well, and you're ready to push." Dr. Montgomery says, chuckling at the matching looks of shock both Finn and Rachel give her, "Let's move you to the deliver room.

"It's time?" Rachel asks numbly as one of the orderlies come into the room, helping her into a wheelchair, "Finn, we're gonna have a baby."

"I…" Finn has no words, but squeezes her hand as they move out of the room.

They have been waiting for hours for this moment, and now that its upon them, Finn is at a lost of words, he's body numb. He follows diligently to all the instructions the nurses give him, as he scrubs his hands clean. When he enters the delivery room, Rachel is panting as her contractions are even closer together, on seeing him she holds out her hand pleading for him to come to her side. He makes two large strides to her side, taking her hand in his own.

"You're ready babe?" He asks softly kissing her knuckles as Dr. Montgmery and her nurses continue to prep Rachel and monitor the baby's heart rate.

"I don't know." Rachel whispers frighteningly, she looks up at Finn her eyes wide, "What if I can't do it?"

"Of course you can." Finn promises, "You are the only one that can help her. You're dying to meet her right?"

"Yea." Rachel says breathlessly as another contraction hits and she moans in pain.

"Are you ready to push Rachel?" Dr. Montgomery asks,

Rachel looks at Finn with fear, Finn just smiles at her warmly, "You can do this baby."

Rachel then nods at Dr. Montgomery, who instructs her on the next contraction to push. When the next contraction hits, Rachel lets out this loud scream, Finn is pretty sure if he hasn't lost his hearing, he's probably broken a finger or two.

"Is that it?" Finn asks numbly when she releases his hand.

"Do I look like superwoman?" Rachel snaps at him, grabbing his hand yet again, "Do you see a baby Finn?"

Finn winces and decides its best he does not say anything, he holds back his own groan when Rachel's nails dig into his hand as another contraction hits. Dr. Montgomery is offering words of encouragement, she asks Finn if he would like to see, but Finn declines when Rachel's grip on his hand tightens yet again.

"One more push Rachel." Dr. Montgomery says encouragingly, "You're almost there."

"You can do it Rach." Finn cheers, breaking his own vow, just as Rachel yells yet again as another contraction hits.

With that final contraction after a few moments of tense silence, the small room suddenly erupts into loud cries as Finn and Rachel's daughter makes her presence known.

"Oh My God." Finn says in awe as the nurse places the screaming baby on Rachel's chest.

"Finn, look at what we did." Rachel says tears streaming down her own face as the baby's cries immediately stop at Rachel's voice. Rachel's hand rests on the baby's back as she looks at her lovingly.

"She's beautiful." Finn says softly, running his finger along the baby's soft curls on the top of her head. "I love you both so much."

"I love you too." Rachel whispers. She tears her gaze away from their daughter, to look up at Finn, smiling through her tears as he leans forward to kiss Rachel soundly on the lips.

The baby scrunches up her face, at the slight jostle, but other than that she doesn't move, just simply sighs pressing her tiny face against Rachel's chest. Finn is so enchanted by his daughter he doesn't hear Dr. Montgomery call out to him, until one of the nurses taps his shoulder.

"You want to cut the cord, Dad?" Dr. Montgomery asks brightly.

Finn nods taking the scissors from the nurse, once that is done, the nurse stands over them smiling warmly at them, "I'm just going to take her, to clean her up okay?"

Rachel nods, removing her protective hand from the baby's back, frowning when the baby immediately begins to cry from being moved. Rachel looks at Finn her eyes wide, "Stay with her? Make sure she knows that one of us is with her."

"You're going to be okay?" Finn asks her with concern as he wipes her sweaty brow with the back of his hand.

"You can go on ahead, she's in good hands." Dr. Montgomery promises.

Finn looks across the room where their daughter is still crying loudly, and then back at Rachel who smiles at him tiredly, "Go on, Dad."

Finn grins at that pressing a firm kiss to Rachel's lips one last time, before hurriedly making his way to their daughter his heart aching at her tiny cries of protest as the nurse cleans her off and measures her. He looks on in awe as he watches his daughter, his heart full, no other moment in his life can ever top this moment.

"I think Daddy, is dying to hold you." The nurse whispers to the still crying baby as she grins up at Finn expectantly.

Finn's eyes widen as she gently places the baby in his arms, moving his hand so he cradles his daughter's head. Finn looks down at the small bundle in his arms and he feels his eyes fill with tears when she nuzzles his chest, her cries immediately subsiding once she's comfortably in his arms.

When she opens her tiny eyes to gaze up at Finn as he whispers softly to her, Finn realizes that moment is the greatest moment of his life.

He's a father.

* * *

"Can I call them now?" Finn asks, once the baby is comfortably lying in Rachel's arms as Rachel leans against the bed, her eyes heavy with sleep, "Between, my mom and your dad I'm not sure who is going to break down the door first. The nurse said she had her own little paparazzi group in the nursery. They have already seen you, but they didn't get to hold her yet. Don't want to anger the masses."

Rachel laughs wholeheartedly at Finn's words, "I think the little princess is up for some visitors."

As soon as she says that the door to her room and everyone comes barging in, their parents making a beeline for the bed, Santana, Kurt trailing behind them. His mom squeals in excitement as she gently takes the baby from Rachel's arms.

"Mom, careful." Finn protests as his mother nuzzles the baby's cheek with her nose, breathing in deeply.

"Finn, I've been a nurse longer than you've been born and I'm a mother I know how to hold a baby." His mother says with a roll of her eyes, she looks down at the baby and grins, "She's beautiful."

"She's stealing your limelight." Kurt teases referring to Rachel's daughter. He hugs her, as all the grandparents are too busy fawning over the little baby.

Rachel smiles tiredly at him, "She's the star."

"Dude, they aren't going to drop her." Santana says in amusement, nudging Finn in the side, laughing at the way Finn is anxiously watching their parent's pass the baby around.

"I'm sure we'll get her back in one piece, baby. Relax." Rachel says calmly watching Finn in amusement, "He hasn't let her go since he first hold her, only letting me hold her."

"Poor kid is gonna be smothered." Santana says in amusement, she looks at Rachel closely, "How are you feeling?"

"Good. Amazing. Exhausted," Rachel sighs with content watching as her fathers' talk animatedly to her daughter, "I'm so happy, I can't explain it."

Santana grins tugging Rachel into a hug, "Congrats Rach. You guys did good. She's cute too."

"She's amazing." Finn says in awe, his gaze still fixated on the baby.

"Rach, I think you've got some competition there." Kurt teases. Looking at his brother in amusement.

"She's the only other girl, he's allowed to love more than me." Rachel teases, sending Finn a smile. She sits up more when she sees her Daddy bringing the baby for her. Once the baby is in her arms, she immediately calms down, nuzzling Rachel's chest.

"See, she knows her mom." Leroy says warmly, just before he kisses Rachel on the forehead. "I'm so proud of you bumble bee."

"She is kind of perfect." Rachel says proudly, as she looks down at the now sleeping baby.

"Are we going to be referring her to as _she_ for the rest of her life?" Santana asks pointedly, she scrunches up her face in thought, "You didn't go with some crazy Broadway name did you?"

Finn laughs, grinning at Rachel who nods at him to tell them, "This is Emily Carole Hudson."

"Oh Finn." Carole gushes putting her hand to her chest before she engulfs Finn in a hug.

"I'm guessing you like it mom?" Finn asks in amusement as Carole hugs him tightly kissing him on the cheek.

"It's perfect," Carole says peering at the her granddaughter, "I can just eat her up."

"Okay honey, why don't we leave the kids for the night. I'm sure they are both exhausted." Burt says, he looks at Finn and Rachel thoughtfully, "I guess the two of you aren't really kids anymore are you?"

"Dad, are you going to cry?" Kurt teases from on the other side of Rachel's bed, tearing his gaze away from his niece to look up at his father.

"My baby has her own baby." Hiram sobs out, "She's so beautiful."

"It's okay honey." Leroy says soothingly rubbing his husband's back, he looks across at Burt, "I think Hiram has the crying grandparent thing down for all of us."

"Okay, all of you need to leave." Kurt says suddenly, "You're overwhelming my niece."

"Kid can't be bothered with any of you and your waterworks. She's out cold." Santana says in amusement, peering down at the sleeping baby in Rachel's arms, "She's really cute."

"I know." Rachel says proudly, running her finger gently against the baby's cheek.

When she stifles a yawn, Finn stands deciding its time their crazy family leaves, "Okay guys, I don't want to kick you out but…"

"Ah Papa bear has spoken. It's time for us to leave Finn with his family." Leroy teases warmly as they all start to empty out the room. He shakes Finn's hand firmly, "Congratulations Finn. I know we've had our differences these past few months, but I'm proud of you, of both of you."

"Thank you." Finn says softly watching as Leroy kisses an exhausted Rachel before he leaves.

He looks at Rachel warmly, she's staring down at the baby still in awe, "Do you want me to take her back to the nursery?"

"Not yet." Rachel says softly. She smiles at their sleeping daughter, her heart feeling like it would explode. She runs her fingers gently against the baby's tiny hand that is clasp against her small chest that is moving slowly up and down "I just want to watch her. We did this Finn."

"It's surreal." Finn says as he slips into the bed next to Rachel, running his finger against Emily's tiny foot that is peaking out from below her blanket, "She's so tiny."

"She's absolutely perfect." Rachel says softly, pressing a gentle kiss to the baby's forehead, "I don't know how we thought we could have ever given her up."

"I know, looking at her now. I can't imagine ever letting her go." Finn says softly, "I think I always knew that but it took almost losing the both of you to realize I could never let her go."

When Rachel doesn't respond, Finn looks up to see that she is sound asleep her grip on the baby never loosening. Finn smiles warmly slowly easing the baby out of Rachel's arms, Emily fussing slightly at being moved "Hey now, let Mommy sleep."

She calms down immediately which makes Finn smile widely, he looks at the tiny cot that the nurses used to transport Emily from the nursery to Rachel's room, but then sinks down in the chair, forgoing the cot for now. He's perfectly content to hold his daughter as she sleeps.

He gazes at the tiny life in his arms, watching the small splatter of freckles that already litters Emily's tiny face, her cheeks rosy as she breathes in deeply as she sleeps soundly in his arms. All the fear and apprehension about her arrival seems to have completely disappeared once he looks at her. He looks down at their daughter and he knows without a doubt he'll do whatever it takes to take care of his family.

He, Rachel and Emily are a family now and he couldn't imagine it any other way.

* * *

_One month later._

She rolls onto her back, the sun streaming into the room; the sound of soft singing pulling her out of her slumber. She slowly pries open her eyes, her eyelids protesting due to a lack of sleep. Her heart warms at the sight before her, all the exhaustion slowly slipping away as she watches Finn swaying by the window, softly singing to their fussy daughter.

"C'mon baby girl. What's wrong?" Finn asks softly as he places a kiss on Emily's tiny head, "You're going to wake up Mommy. It's my singing isn't it? You prefer Mommy's right? Don't worry I do to."

Rachel giggles at his words, smiling tiredly at Finn as he turns around to face him, "Hey."

"Did we wake you?" Finn asks worriedly as he makes his way towards their bed.

"It's okay, I love waking up to you singing to our daughter." Rachel says warmly, frowning when Emily starts to cry, "What's wrong Ems?"

"I think she's hungry." Finn says as he rocks the baby, waiting for Rachel to get ready to nurse Emily

"Takes after her father." Rachel teases as Finn hands her Emily, "Don't you worry about Daddy Ems, he's always hungry when he gets up as well."

Finn laughs watching as Emily latches on to Rachel's nipple as soon as she is in her mother's arms, drinking hungrily. "She was _really_ hungry."

Rachel laughs as she leans against the headboard, "She's _always_ really hungry."

"I feel like that was directed at me." Finn says with a laugh as he gets into bed, "Do you want the pillow?"

"It's okay, I like holding her like this." Rachel says, she runs her pinky against Emily's cheek, "Slow down baby girl."

"Does it hurt?" Finn asks curiously peering down at Emily, who's eyes open at the sound of his voice. He grins down at her, "Hi Emmy."

"It only hurts when she gets really excited." Rachel says softly, giggling at Finn who is now making faces at Emily, who stops nursing to gaze up at Finn with wide eyes, "Finn, you're distracting her, stop it."

"Whoops, sorry Ems." Finn says, he rubs his finger against her cheek, coaxing her to start back nursing. Once she does, he moves away and out of her line of vision so that she can eat properly.

"I didn't think it was possible to love a person so much." Rachel says softly, watching as Emily's eyes start to droop and she continues to nurse, "Like I thought I knew what love was, with you, my parents, Kurt. But, this is something I…"

"It's consuming," Finn says softly, "You feel like all those feelings you had before is multiplied by the millions and even then it's only a fraction of how you feel about her."

"I feel like every time I look at her, I experience a rainbow of emotions." Rachel confesses, "These past 4 four weeks haven't been easy, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I don't know how I thought I could have taken one look at her and been able to give her to someone else. I love her so much Finn, sometimes I'm afraid to let her go, almost as if she'll just disappear if I do."

"She's not going anywhere. She's stuck with us for the rest of her life." Finn says, he then peers over Rachel's shoulder grinning at Emily, "It's that right Ems?"

Emily's tiny eyes flutter open at his voice and she releases Rachel's nipple yet again. Rachel groans, "Finn, she needs to eat. She's going to get fussy if she doesn't eat."

"Sorry, I'll make us some breakfast while you feed her." Finn says he places a kiss on Rachel's forehead and then rubs Emily's stomach, "Scramble eggs and toast?"

"Thank you." Rachel says gratefully, as she tries to coax Emily back to her breast, "Daddy is so silly. C'mon baby girl aren't you hungry?"

But Emily just gazes up at Rachel in wonderment, Rachel can't help but smile, "You're the cutest baby in the world, but if you're going to stay cute and healthy you gotta eat. That's it; I knew you couldn't have been full already. You are your father's daughter, in more ways than one."

Rachel smiles down at her daughter, the baby's hand resting on her breast as she nurses hungrily, "I'm sorry I ever thought I could have given you away. You mean more to me than anything in this world. I promise you, I'll do everything in my power to make sure that you have everything you need and that you will be happy. I love you so much baby girl."

Rachel smiles warmly as Emily looks up at her with wide eyes, still nursing, "I may not be able to give you everything, but I can promise you one thing, no one will love you more than me and your daddy."

Rachel sighs as she brushing Emily's curls, closing her eyes as her daughter continues to nurse. She's a mother now, she's responsible for this tiny life in her arms and she wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

**The End**

* * *

**Originally I intended to just write a epilogue after this but I decided to keep this Emily Universe going and I'll probably write little one shots based off of different moments in Emily's life. So you can look forward to that sometime. **

**Thank you again for reading this fic :)**


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